


The Troublesome Teacher’s Seductive Soccer Secret

by Hades_the_Blingking



Category: Supernatural
Genre: ALWAYS WITH THE CONSENT, Age Difference, Biology teacher Lucifer, Bobby is a blood uncle, Car Sex, Consent, Daddy Issues, Desk Sex, Happy Sam is my Kink, Highschool AU, Humor, Humour, I love writing Gabriel so much, Jess and Sam are BROTP, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Lucifer's backstory has become an in-joke with myself, M/M, Medium Toastage rather than Slow Burn, Rough Sex, Sam is repressed and horny af, Samifer has so many highschool aus I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon, Sarah is the cutest thing why don’t more fanfics have sarah, Sass, Semi Public Sex, Sexting, Shower Sex, Soccer Captain Sam, THE SASSHOLES ARE AT IT AGAIN, Tattooed Lucifer, Teacher Lucifer, Teacher-Student Relationship, Teaching lots of 'biology', Texting, Wall Sex, and no he's not a mournful alcoholic, beginner bondage, beginner electricity play, but ain't he always?, but also Happy Lucifer, but in a more interesting way than you might think, it somehow is cute how does this happen, just have a laugh y'all, morally grey Lucifer, please forgive me for the title i just had to, prom shenanigans, teenage emotions, yeah they get it on a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2018-12-02 18:19:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 77,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11514852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hades_the_Blingking/pseuds/Hades_the_Blingking
Summary: In which Sam thinks hot people should be banned by law from teaching, but is left in seemingly-eternal frustration instead, Lucifer is largely unobservant until he isn't, Jess might kill someone on her mission to discover her best friend's secret crush, and Mrs Tran is out to dominate the world of sports. Will Sam win the heart of his Tempting Teacher? Will he manage it through the Soccer Championships? What will our hot soccer captain do when Prom Season descends? And will Dean ever stop watching Doctor Sexy? The drama. The fun. The shenanigans. God help us all when Gabriel turns up.Comments are very much appreciated! :)Cover artheren.n





	1. Sam is Going to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** Most of my knowledge of American school etc is drawn from terrible films. Imagine that this is on the set of one of those terrible films and everything is Convenient For Fun.

Sam had a problem. A very blonde, charismatic Biology teacher problem. The eighteen-year-old, A-grade soccer Captain tried oh so very hard not to stare as this problem changed the Powerpoint slide on human ape ancestry. Maybe Sam was weird. Or had a daddy replacement complex. Or was tired of the numerous ‘no homo though’ disappointments and scared that his ‘no homo’ mates would ditch him if they knew he was gay. And the ironically named problem, Lucifer, was gay, very unashamed, even blasé about it. Literally the first lesson Sam had ever had with him, the man had breezed in late on the excuse that his ex-boyfriend had stolen every single article of bedding in Lucifer’s apartment and driven around the block to taunt him until Lucifer cricket-bowled a motorcycle helmet through his window screen to get him to stop. Nobody had even had time to judge him through laughing too hard, and Sam had done a Johnny Cash and fallen straight into the burning ring of fire.  
Ugh, maybe the gorgeous gay Lucifer would _want_ Sam. Maybe that hot piece of man would kiss him, grind on him, show Sam how good a first time could be with all his experience…God Sam wanted to ride that dick so bad it was like a physical hunger. The younger Winchester ran an annoyed hand through his long (far too long by big bro Dean’s standards) hair as the thought went straight down South. Way to pop a super-hard boner in class, Sam, way to go.

“Now, one hypothesis suggests that a large instigator in human intelligence, is the use of fire.” Lucifer gestured to the array of skulls on the powerpoint, and oh no, he did that sexy pout thing with his wide-bowed lips, which just made Sam’s stomach muscles quiver. People this hot shouldn’t be allowed to _teach_. “Can anyone theorize why I might have skulls up for this particular point?”  
Sam’s mind was on the wrong kind of bones at the moment, so he broke his hopefully not too obvious, amorous stare in case Lucifer thought eye contact was reasonable ground to pick on him. The soccer player didn’t think he’d manage a full sentence without some kind of Freudian slip.

Lucky for him, up at the front Jess leapt on the opportunity. He’d dated her three years ago, and in between experimental make-outs and some fucking awkward moments for Sam, they’d both come to the conclusion that he was Very Gay. But luckily for him, Jess might literally be an angel; she’d sworn secrecy even without the knowledge of his crazy dad, she’d talked him through everything, and made sure he knew she would always be a bro if his bros turned out to be hoes.  
“It’s something to do with jaw muscle, isn’t it?” She frowned a little, as if the information was right on the tip of her tongue. It probably was, given her obsession to become a doctor, and Sam thought she’d make a damn fine one. “That, like, fire softened food, so the chewing muscles decreased, the bone mass thinned and allowed the brain to grow larger?”  
“Very good – “  
_“Good boy,” Lucifer hissed into the muscle of Sam’s neck as he pinned him face down on a desk, and Sam’s gasp stuttered, breath stripped by the thick cock that eased inside him –_

The younger Winchester gripped his pen so hard that it dug into his hand to bring him back to reality. Shit, this was going to be another lesson where he went back to his notes and found half-finished sentences and incomplete bullet points. It wasn’t Sam’s damn fault though. It was Lucifer’s fault for wearing a white shirt with rolled up sleeves that made Sam legit want to _lick his forearms_ if that wasn’t creepy. That…might be creepy. Yeah, if Lucifer could read minds, he’d be hugging the corner on the opposite side of the classroom right now. Or maybe he’d find Sam attractive, prowl over, sit on Sam’s desk, flick Sam those sultry, dangerous blue eyes and say –  
“ - docosahexaenoic acid, but that sort of thing will _definitely_ not be showing up in any exams.” Lucifer finished and picked up a sheaf of paper to hand to the nearest distribution nerd as Sam mentally bitch-slapped himself. “Now Deidre and JD are handing out an article with information to answer the questions below. You can work with your friends if you’re not too noisy.”

The biology teacher hopped up to sit on the Science Lab sink-desk combo to read through their homework, which really didn’t help Sam and his ridiculous fantasies. Damn, did he have a problem, and it wasn’t just failing Biology. But what the hell could he do about it? This wasn’t like one of the many, many fantasies he had pretty much every night where he offered himself like a sultry minx to the teacher and Lucifer just went along with it, and he very much doubted that Lucifer would find Sam in one of the many compromising, half/fully naked scenarios he also imagined for several reasons: a) although his imagination might disagree, he wasn’t a master in the art of seduction, more the art of nervous laughter and stammering. b) why in the heck would Lucifer ever go into the gym shower rooms at the exact moment Sam chose to step out the mist all wet and mostly naked, c) Lucifer was older and wiser and hotter and more confident in every fucking way which was as intimidating as it was hot, d) the amount of awkwardness if things did not go the way Sam dreamed (99% chance) would probably be worse than Death and e) Lucifer was a teacher. Which meant he’d probably get jail time for nailing Sam in a broom closet. The real world was such a pain some times. 

The only way Sam could see a solution to his problem was if a hot, out, Antonio Banderas look-alike joined their soccer team or Sam literally left the city. That was the most likely of the two with the end of the year coming up and a significant lack big soccer league organizations in Lawrence.  
“Oh, er, thank you.” Sam managed to pull his thoughts back on track to accept his ill-fated worksheet, and prayed that Brady, his friend next to him, did not, in fact, have a worrisome obsession with their daddy of a teacher and could help Sam actually get through the questions.

 

In 20 minutes, Sam had actually managed to complete the damn thing – it wasn’t as though he wasn’t smart or a good worker, far from it, his English teacher said. And his maths teacher. Even his PE teacher said his written work was top of the class. But neither English, Maths or PE were taught by Mr Distraction over there. And Sam would never live it down if Dean discovered his suspiciously low Biology grades were because of a hot blonde. Although, who knew what Dean would do if he knew this particular blonde was endowed with a dick? Dean sometimes used ‘gay’ as an insult and pulled faces and things whenever anything came up about it…

“You’re coming for lunch practice, right?” Brady hissed beside him as Sam collected both their sheets and handed them forward.  
“Dude, of course, the finals are, like two days away.” Sam tucked his pen into his jeans’ pocket and closed his book on the half-finished notes. In an insane season of soccer, their school team had managed to not only qualify for the US & Canada Under 20’s Soccer Championships, but got through to the quarter finals. “And on Saturday. You?”  
“Chapter seven, Questions 1-6 are for homework over the weekend. Now, Since you’ve been good today, you can go early.” Lucifer had this innate predatory gaze, which had made Sam think, the first time he’d been generous, that it was a trick. But he could be as nice as he could be terrifying. And God, Sam never wanted to get on the wrong side of the man, who’d go from a fun, sexy (had he said that enough?), genial teacher to a six-foot looming mass of quiet, ice-cold demon of no mercy. Kids didn’t fuck around in his class since he’d pinned Larry’s sleeve to the wooden benches with a scalpel. True Larry had turned the gas on his Bunsen burner on, left it running for 4 minutes and then had been about to light it. Lucifer _had_ probably saved Larry from being exploded, but the speed and strength on him and the quiet but _very_ intense rebuke he’d given the poor guy was either scary or sexy, Sam’s mind hadn’t been and still wasn’t really in the right place to differentiate. 

“Now, is anyone here in the A-Grade soccer team?”  
Sam didn’t even hear what Brady’s reply was as some automatic part of him raised a hand.  
“Sam, Brady and Leon, huh?” Those kissable, oh so kissable lips quirked. “Well, I’ll be seeing you on Monday for our little trip to Canada.”  
Sam’s brain just about melted out of his ear.  
“We picked names out of a hat for it, but I think the principal cheated and chose me because she knows I used to be a bouncer.” The older blonde tapped his papers with a perky smile, and Sam’s flighty brain landed on Earth for a second at that.  
“You were a bouncer?” A wash of hot adrenaline rushed up Sam’s chest as the teacher flicked those pale blue eyes to meet his. There were murmurs of interest from the students packing up their things – Jess even gave an incredulous giggle, but it didn’t drown out the heavy metal kick-drum intro Sam’s flighty teenage heart had decided to play.

“Mm. Threw a man out a window once for groping a couple of ladies one too many times. He lived. I think.” Lucifer shrugged as the teacher’s pets up the front laughed, but the man’s pokerface was too good to read whether or not he’d actually killed a man. _“Come here, pet.” Lucifer brushed a stray lock of hair behind Sam’s ear, and then those hot lips pressed up on his, confident hands latched over Sam’s hips and pulled him against the hardness of Lucifer’s crotch –_  
Oh jeez, you’re such a hoe Sam, but then he so wanted to be Lucifer’s pet...ughh. The younger Winchester silently agreed with his subconscious that he was indeed a huge hoe for a Biology teacher’s dick, and ran a hand through his long hair. He really hoped his A+ tan covered the heat he could feel in his cheeks. You’d rather have Lucifer’s heat between your cheeks, the dirty whore part of his mind offered, and Sam gave it a weak mental slap. Fuck. Having Lucifer on this trip was going to be Hell. _Hell._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome one and all to my new fic! I always get so nervous putting up something new! It's in a much lighter vein than my last one, so I hope you all enjoy it. That was a first little look...I'd love to know what you thought of it! First impressions, anything you laughed at (it always makes my day to hear someone laughed) or whether you simply want to say hi, I'm always enthusiastic to hear what you have to say. n.n So leave a comment or kudos if you like! Sam's themesong right now is so totally [Hot For Teacher](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lchZ7nO_fRw) by Van Halen lol. Honestly, I have been Slain by Mark P's fucking lips on several occasions, so I'm with him there.  
> Anyhoo, I'm looking forward to this new, crazy romp with y'all! Stay awesome my buddies（｡>‿‿<｡ ）


	2. The Secret Crush

Lucky for Sam, Lucifer did not frequent the school fields at lunch time (except on a Tuesday when he had duty, and Sam _so totally_ hadn’t memorized that day to be shirtless on) so practise didn’t end up with Sam going into teacher-induced daydreams of Lucifer and balls and KO’ing himself on the goal. Not that he usually got close to a goal unless it was their own; he mostly played centre back because reading plays was _what he did_ – hence his selection as Captain. The opposition didn’t know what hit them half the time when they’d thought they’d got a clever run, then wham, bam, straight into 6ft 4 Sam. Sometimes he switched up to midfielder because he had legs for days and could do in six paces what most did in ten, but that wasn’t as fun as seeing the sheer rage of glory-seeking strikers when they got their ball snatched. He’d even been told to fuck off back to basketball where he belonged last year, to which Sam had responded that maybe they’d have a chance of winning if he did that. The said striker proceeded to swear he’d wreck their team, and Sam had proceeded to make it his personal goal to destroy his chances every time he made it down field. Needless to say, attempted violence and a red card was involved for the fuckwit, but Sam had one of the most fun games of his life. Maybe he was just a little evil that way.

“Corner!” Coach Tran yelled down their end and did the usual hand gestures as the B-Grade team they practised against kicked it out downfield. Mrs Tran was great. She was. But sometimes Sam thought she belonged in feudal Japan, wherein she would promptly and strategically take over the country. Most coaches said ‘play well’ or ‘go team!’. Coach Tran said ‘kill them’ in a low, serious voice. All part of the fun and games.

Sam jogged over to where the ball had sailed off to, being the closest player. It hadn’t hit any of the various friend groups that lowkey spectated the hot soccer players, but had rolled over to a wall on which four tryhard punk emos lounged in their attempt to look cool. What they were even doing in the sunlight or away from their rebel smoking corner, Sam put down to Fate being Unkind. He even recognized one of them from English – Ruby, the girl in the middle with the white stripe dyed in her black hair. Either she read too many vampire books, or the strain of trying to be so cool all the time had stress-dyed her hair, Sam wasn’t sure, but he just wanted to get back to the game.

“Did you want this soccer ball?” Ruby swaggered forward and picked it up in the one hand that had a long glove. Asymmetry was the new revolution along with douchebaggery, it seemed.  
“No, I just came over here to add a brisk walk to my day – of course I want the soccer ball. Please.” Sam sighed as she twirled it on her finger. Couldn’t it have rolled into some first year nerds who’d just do the old cower n’ throw?  
“You’ve got a mouth on you, Winchester. I like that.” Ruby smirked, but this conversation had already gone on for too long, and the orchestrated dishevelment of her overall look was going to blow Sam’s mind if he had to focus on it much longer.  
“Thanks, I grew it myself. Now if you don’t mind?” He held out a hand, and she threw him the ball as if she were doing him the biggest favour in the world.  
“I’ll see you round, Sam.”  
“Uhh, thanks.” The younger Winchester turned back toward the game with a confused sideye. Ruby never _talked_ to people, unless it was her gang or a ‘cool’ (translation: vague-mid levels of harassing) comment. What the heck had that exchange been about? He missed Jess and her friends Charlie and Sarah exchange very raised eyebrows from their patch of grass.

 

“Oh my God, Hot Topic Emo _liiiiikes_ you!” Jess grinned shit at him in Stats as he slipped into the seat beside her. Getting changed after lunch always made him a little late and –  
_“What?”_ Sam’s train of thought did a Hindenburg out the window. He just stared at the blonde for a long moment, waiting for her to correct the sentence he had very much misheard.  
“Ruby wants your man-buns.” Jess hissed at him in a low stage whisper. Lucky for him Mr. Crowley hadn’t finished writing what looked like very painful equations on the whiteboard, so he had a few more moments to go into shock. “The Avril Lavigne wannabe _likes_ you. She got arrested the other week for trying to re-enact the music video to Complicated. She sings Evanescence in the music studios in her spare time. Think you’re up to tame that wildcat? She probably has the tattoo already.”  
“Jess noo.” Sam managed to shut his open mouth and drew a hand over his face. Why couldn’t life be a simple place where Lucifer would just toss Sam over his shoulder and carry him off into the sunset? “I can’t – how did you even – ?”  
“Me ‘n Charlie saw the whole thing.” Jess’s eyes practically sparkled with glee, and for the first time in his life, Sam hoped Stats would start faster. “She used the flirty eyes, and didn’t try to cause you bodily harm. Must be love.”  
The tanned blonde earned the Sam-patented Bitch Faceᵀᴹ, but before Sam could reply, Mr Crowley called for quiet.

 

_“Sam, you played brilliantly out there.” Lucifer moved through the empty changing room like a cat on the prowl, and his gaze pinned Sam to the spot._  
_“Thank you.” Sam grinned, then flicked coy little eyes down then up again as he stood there in nothing but a towel. “I’m glad you noticed.”_  
_“How could I not notice?” The older blonde eased right into his space, so Sam’s bare chest glowed with Lucifer’s heat, even though they didn’t quite touch. “I can’t take my eyes off you Sam. I want you.”_  
_A high huff of breath left Sam’s throat as he backed up against the wall of a shower stall. “Please, Lucifer...”_  
_Lucifer didn’t need to be told twice. One hand latched into his hair, pulled down and closed the few inches between their lips as the other gave his towel a sharp tug and left Sam naked. Oh fuck, the confidence and the unashamed lust of this usually-reserved man had Sam so hard he was almost embarrassed by the throbbing, flushed flesh pressed against Lucifer’s usual slacks._  
_“Turn around.” Lucifer growled and –_  
“So did you figure out 3b?” 

Sam just about jumped into Mr Crowley’s passing arms as Jess slid into the chair beside him, back from the bathroom.  
“Uhh, I got a little stuck.” The soccer captain managed out as he scrambled to pick up his pen and pretend he’d actually tried.  
“Yeah, and you tried to meditate at the nearby wall for answers?” Jess raised eyebrows with a knowing smile, but before Sam could splutter out a very convincing argument that meditation was very beneficial for tasks that required high focus, he was interrupted. “Who were you daydreaming about, hmm? Whether Ruby’s got some cuffs and leathers? C’mon you were biting your lip and everything.”  
“You are never going to stop teasing me about this, are you?” Sam shot her a withering glare, but that didn’t stop her. And it didn’t stop his brain and half-hard cock suggesting Lucifer in tight leather pants either. Oh jeez. Another one to add to the limpid pool of daydreams.  
“Nope. C’mon though, who’ve you got a crush on?” Jess’s eager look made Sam do the unthinkable and turn back to the dreaded 3b. “Brady, the hot best friend? Kevin the nerdy yet cute twink? George, the gym-buff striker?”  
“You watch far too much Dr Sexy.” Sam shot her a side-eye, and hoped to high heaven she didn’t notice the little devil horns he’d doodled in his margin.  
“Shut up!” Jess grinned and smacked his arm. “So do you!”  
“My brother is obsessed. I’ve tried to convince him to go to therapy several times for it.” Sam sighed. Couldn’t Dean have chosen The Unnatural to obsess over? A show about two hot sisters careening around the country in a Mustang packed with guns, killing monsters? That seemed more Dean’s cup of tea. But no, every Friday night when Dad hit the bars, Dean and Mom dragged Sam to sit down and watch forty minutes of different flirtatious inflections on the word ‘doctor’. Honestly, he did more homework then than any other day in the week.

“So your dream man doesn’t wear cowboy boots, huh?” Jess grinned, but Sam managed to swipe left on cowboy Lucifer before it got the better of him.  
“No. Now – “  
“There’s a lot of chatter going on over here.” Mr Crowley wandered around to their desk with raised eyebrows. “You know you have until 2:15 to finish Questions 1-4?”  
“Yes sir.” Sam nodded and looked back at his questions again. Mr Crowley could be a douche, but he could also be very helpful. “Could you help me out with 3b, I’m a bit stuck.”  
“I will find out.” Jess whispered, eyes afire with the passion of gossip, and Sam half-wished she’d go back to her wild imaginings of him and Evanescence Eyeliner Extravaganza. 

 

The last period of the day was a free one for Sam, so he just headed home after Stats. It’d be good to get some of that English essay he should have started a week ago done, and get that last paragraph of his Stats internal out the way so he could drop it off on Saturday before The Trip. Of course, Bio would have to wait until Dr Sexy, because without the turn-off of bad acting and melodramatic music, it would just turn into daydreams, then ferocious jerking off. Jeez, if this continued, later in life someone would just mention Punnet Squares and he’d pop a boner. God he was so fucked by wanting to be fucked.

It was thankfully quiet and empty in the house when Sam used the spare key to let himself in; dad didn’t trust them enough to give him and Dean house keys, and mom had given up arguing. When he was little, Sam often wondered why mom stayed with the man – they always shouted at each other, sometimes dad threw things, dad was drunk far too much, and once or twice things even came to blows between everyone. But the simple fact of the matter was that dad’s work with high-end muscle and sports cars made it rain, whereas mom’s management job at the local café wouldn’t support rent and the education of two kids, as well as the non-poverty lifestyle she wanted for them. Dean worked at Uncle Bobby’s scrapyard to help because a) even Dean couldn’t put up with dad all day every day even though his job was Dean’s dream and b) it was the only way Uncle Bobby could give his sister funds without her refusing it. It wasn’t the worst or best situation overall, but they kept at it somehow. So Sam stole a muesli bar and headed upstairs.

 

“Sammy, get your ass down here and learn how to cook!”  
Sam’s essay daze was broken by his big brother’s holler. Wow, was it really 5 already? Sam glanced at his laptop screen and sure enough, it read 5:15.  
“I can cook noodles, does that count?” Sam yelled back and typed in a few words that sounded vaguely conclusive, but he’d probably have to edit out later.  
“You’re going to die alone and hungry in a student flat, you know that?” Dean called back, and Sam heard mom laugh.  
“ _Dean_ play nicely with your brother.”  
Sam put in a half-hearted full stop, got up from his stupid spot on the floor which he always sat in even though his bedframe had probably put a permanent dent in one of his spinal discs by now, and headed out. If he hadn’t been writing a Stats analysis and needed some well-earned procrastination he probably would have stalled for a bit longer. But hey, it was Friday, Sam thought knowing full well he had an internal due on Saturday and an English essay he definitely wouldn’t start for another whole week now.

“So what’s cooking?” Sam headed down, and a happy little bubble rose up into his chest as he saw mom, Bobby and Dean is the kitchen. Sam had sometimes wondered how their blonde mother and black haired father had produced two brunette sons, but then Lucifer had come along with the words ‘heterozygous’ and ‘recessive allele’ which he made sound like sex noises (ok, maybe just in Sam’s head) and the mystery had been potentially solved.  
“Well _mom’s_ gonna have a break tonight,” Dean sent a pointed look at their mother, who smiled and held up both hands in surrender. “And we’re gonna bake some lasagna baby!”  
He spun around a well-worn cookbook spattered with tomato, and Sam felt himself give in. Dean knew his weaknesses and lasagna was one of them.  
“This is gonna be fun.” Bobby chuckled and handed them both beers.  
“Bobby…” Mom warned with a smile at 18 year old Sam plus booze, but didn’t make any move to remove it. It wasn’t as though Sam was ever going to be an alcoholic; he’d seen enough tempers and enough money go down the drain to that one.  
“What? He’s eighteen, not twelve!” Bobby made the most innocent expression. “You gotta let him live a little.”  
“Fine, but if my drunk sons explode the kitchen, you’re paying for it.” Mom teased and picked up her own beer. “Now you boys get going, and I’ll call you when Dr Sexy’s on.”

Both Sam and Bobby groaned as they were dragged in opposite directions, as if that would help.  
“Don’t be such a baby, Sam, you know you like it.” Dean handed him an onion and chopping mat, and got an eye roll in return.  
“Why do I have to chop onions _and_ be tortured by Dr Sexy?” Sam whined, because it was his born duty as a little brother to whine at least five times a week, and Dean would be missing out next week. Because Sam would be in Canada. With an extremely hot teacher. Maybe Sam should make up for a lifetime of whining, because he was _going to die_. Put that on his gravestone: Killed by imagined sexual tension.  
“It’ll build you some character, bitch.” Dean gestured at him with a carrot, and helped himself to another plastic chopping mat.  
“Jerk.” Sam shot back and took a long swig of his beer. He was going to need it to get through the trials of tonight.

They’d just got the mince on when a slam of the door made both Dean and Sam freeze on innate response. It was a testament to dad’s nature that Sam could recognize the heavy footfalls of those boots whenever and wherever. The tension was broken slightly in Sam’s head when that phrase reminded him of that particularly catchy Shakira song.  
“What’re you doing in the kitchen?” Dad grunted at both of them, but didn’t take off his well-worn leather jacket or boots, thank God. That meant he wasn’t staying long.  
“Cooking.” Dean’s posture went from easy to defensive in one move as dad glanced over at mom and Bobby on the couch through the open plan house design. Sam realized he’d fallen into the same stance.  
“Destroying the kitchen, more like. You should leave that up to your mother.” The salt-and-pepper haired man grunted, and a ball of anger curled inside Sam’s belly. But those fights never ended well, so he just shifted the meat around in the pan. “You should be out taking care of my car, that’s what you should be doing. That Impala’s a classic, and I can see dust, the paint’s dull, there’s dirt on the rims and I wouldn’t be surprised to see rust. Get it presentable or I’ll find you a rust bucket that suits your gratitude.”  
“Yes sir.” Dean sighed and Sam _hated_ that dad knew the exact words which made his big brother’s shoulders droop like that.

“Bobby, do you pay Dean to slack off?” It seemed dad didn’t have anything to say to Sam, but the younger Winchester guessed that was because he was still at school and hadn’t given the old man an opportunity to be disappointed. The sentiment was later to be proved wrong.  
“Kid does good work.” Bobby’s voice came out gruff, but that was probably because he was as pissed off as the rest of them.  
“For your place, I suppose.” Dad grumped, and Bobby turned back to the television with a sour expression. Dad never let their uncle forget that his work was low-class scum in comparison to what John did, but tonight everyone knew dad would be gone in ten minutes. They just had to wait until the primal urge to pub crawl became too much and then they’d have the whole evening and most of the weekend to themselves. It wasn’t worth the argument.  
“And Mary, I don’t want to see you try to feminize these boys again. Sam’s hair is as bad as it is.” Dad turned back to him, and Sam’s vision was so very close to going red – not for his hair, no, but for talking to mom like that. “I’ll take the shears to it if you don’t get it cut soon, boy.”  
“Yes sir.” Sam ground out, although he knew those threats were generally empty. Dad was either too busy, drunk or angry to go through with it.  
Having managed to piss every single one of them off, dad yanked a stack of beers from the fridge and stomped out again.

“Well that was delightful.” Bobby growled from the couch, grip so tight on his beer that Sam thought it might break. “Dean, I’ll help you clean and wax your car tomorrow morning, don’t you worry about it son.”  
“Thanks Bobby.” The older Winchester sighed and Sam gave the mince a brusque shove to make sure it didn’t burn.  
“Sorry everyone, he shouldn’t speak to you like that. I’ll talk to him later.” Mom got up, but was beaten to the hugfest by Dean.  
“Don’t bother, he’ll do it if you talk to him or not. And it’ll just cause another shouting match.” Dean patted her back as Sam came in for the hug. He hated just how damn helpless the whole thing made him feel. Yeah, he could retaliate, butt heads – hell, him and Dean could probably toss dad out between them – but that’d leave them with hardly any income and homeless. Fuck this, man.  
“Look, what we’re gonna do is pretend the last five minutes didn’t happen, alright?” Dean prized mom away from Sam’s octopus arms and led her back to the couch. “You’re gonna watch TV with Bobby, me and Sammy are gonna cook dinner and we’re gonna have a good time, alright?”  
“You’re such good boys, you know that?” Mom’s smile brimmed, and Sam shot Dean a grateful look – he always somehow knew how to say the right thing and make everything ok again.

So that’s what they did: the lasagna turned out to be a delicious mess of sauce, pasta and cheese, Bobby and Sam groaned at the horror that was Dr Sexy MD, while mom and Dean told them to shut up at the ‘important’ parts. Sam got, like a single biology question done, but that was ok. Sometimes there were things more important than homework grades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I toasting you yet? :P There's some family/friend stuff - John is a piece of work ay D: I'd love to know what you thought of it all though! The Trip starts next chapter, so prepare yourselves for some Serious Tension. Also thank you so much to everyone who left comments and kudos for the first chapter - I don't think I've had that many on the start of a work, so I'm seriously so astounded. Y'all are the best!  
> Have a good week everybody and stay awesome (●♡∀♡)
> 
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	3. Notice Me Senpai

“You’ve got your kit and everything? And enough cash in case something goes wrong? You know I’m a phone call away if something goes wrong – I’ll drive all the way up to goddam Alberta if you need it.” Dean proceeded to be the protective worry-pot he always was as Sam queued for Customs. Practise on Saturday had been one of the best runs they’d had in a while, and Sam was pumped to _win this thing_. Of course, being noticed by scouts was the more important aspect, but winning would be a bonus. Not to mention he’d got his internal done and dusted, which was another weight off his mind.

“Yeah Dean, I’ll be fine.” Sam gave his idiot brother the most reassuring smile he could as the bow-legged wonder cast nervous glances around the airport.  
“You sure you’ll be alright on the plane? I mean, those things – “  
“Dean.” Sam put a heavy hand on the man’s shoulder and leaned in with a grin. “You’re clucking like a mother hen again.”  
“Shut it, bitch.” Dean straightened up and tried to regain his manliness.  
“Fucking jerk.” Sam grinned back as he dropped his carry-on rucksack on to the conveyor.  
“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Brady appeared from shit-ass nowhere and clapped him on the shoulder.  
“You too, you jock shit.” Sam smirked back at him, and Dean gave his little brother a nod as he saw that little Sammy was no longer alone and wouldn’t be devoured by the airport.  
“See you next week, and don’t bang too many cheerleaders. They got so much energy, they’ll tire you out for days. Believe me.” Dean pointed and raised his eyebrows as he retreated back into the airport crowd. God fucking damn it, Dean, he hadn’t needed that mental image. Then again, Dean had always been Mr Overshare, which had led to Sam literally running out of the room a few times to avoid Death By Trauma.

“Your brother is so cool, man.” Brady laughed and loaded his shit up beside Sam’s. The airport wasn’t too busy today, and Dean in his mother hen fit had got Sam there about half an hour earlier than the airport’s recommended earliness. It was a miracle Brady was even here at all.  
“Don’t tell him that, or I’ll never hear the last of it.” Sam shot him a wizened look then headed off to be weapons-checked by the airport security bleeper. Of course, the only guns he had were the ones that he would very much like Lucifer to check out…Speak of the Devil. Sam had never prided himself at being able to spot a biology teacher at fifty paces, but of course that man would be an exception. It was the way he stood with a straight back and somehow relaxed poise, it was the mess of blonde hair, which Sam wondered whether he gelled or something, it was the fact that Sam spent four days a week staring at him that –  
“Sir? Sir, you need to move on.” The Customs officer raised her eyebrows and Sam had a moment of sheer panic that she’d somehow read his mind and offered him crush advice.  
“Oh, ok, sorry.” He stammered out. Point A as to why this trip was going to be problematic to the Extreme. Sam picked up his stuff and almost wandered over to the teacher group before his brain reminded him that bros came before teachers you were a hoe for, so he lingered until Brady made it through.

“Ugh, why did we have get here so early?” Brady smothered a yawn and they headed over to the soccer party. Besides Mr Gorgeousface, there was Coach Tran and Mr Jefferson, the P.E teacher for the younger grades. Why they needed three teachers to mind one soccer team, Sam didn’t know, but then when you translated that into three adults to mind 11 bro-fuck jocks it kind of made sense. As they got closer, Sam tried so very hard not to stare when he realized Lucifer wasn’t in his usual dress-shirt get up, but in casual jeans, an olive shirt and a blue canvas jacket. Good fucking god, he looked all sleep mussed (a stone’s throw away from sex-mussed in Sam’s one-track mind) and, like, human, y’know? Not the Untouchable Smart Dressed Man Of Dreams. And oh boy did Sam want to Touch It.

“Good enthusiasm boys, good to see you here first.” Coach Tran grabbed the two guys, who towered over her, by the gratuitous biceps and pulled them down into a huddle. Sam had to stoop so low that he literally could touch his toes from here, but then the idea presented itself to him that his ass was stuck out like a stripper’s and Lucifer probably got a great view. So he happily consented to the huddle.  
“We are going to do this boys. We are going to win. You feel that fire, boys?” She growled, and Brady shot Sam a nervous side-eye.  
“Oh, I feel it.” The top-form striker confirmed, which just made Coach Tran grip them tighter.  
“That’s the fire of victory, and we are going to burn our opponents with it, you hear me?”  
“Yes Coach Tran!” They both barked, because it was only the natural order of things, and then they were released. Sam may have done a slight slut-drop on the way up, because he was a whore and couldn’t help it. He was also a little bitch who couldn’t chat up a full-grown man. The problems of his life. So hard. In more ways than one.

“Good to see you’ve got some team spirit going on.” Lucifer’s amused tone came from beside him as Coach Tran spotted more team members to hunt down, and Sam looked left to find Lucifer and his sexy, perfect smirk about a foot away. Shit, Sam could smell his cologne, something like pine and broom flowers that made the soccer captain want to be an absolute creep and lean over and just inhale him. And then inhale his dick. You’re a fucking problem Sam, one of his many inner voices suggested, and it kind of had a point.

While Sam struggled with proximity to sexiness, Brady thankfully had a tongue that worked.  
“Yeah, Lawrence Leopards is kind of a religion where Coach Tran is concerned.” The shorter guy offered, and Sam nodded in what he hoped was a nonchalant and not horny way.  
“Well I look forward to seeing you play. I’ve never had the pleasure.” There were words hot teachers should not be allowed to say, and ‘pleasure’ was definitely one of them. Especially when said hot teacher glanced over at Sam on that exact word.  
“Uh, yeah, well I hope you enjoy it.” Sam didn’t think he’d concentrated on saying any sentence so much in his life, but he made through without saying ‘I hope you enjoy me’ so he’d picked the first win of the week.

 

For twenty whole minutes, Sam lingered with his steadily growing friend group and tried to think of anything, _anything_ that would be a good excuse to go over and talk to Lucifer again. But the only thing that popped into his head was Biology homework, which he hadn’t done and would make Lucifer disappointed. He didn’t have the guts to go over there and say ‘talk Biology to me because I’m shit’ because it didn’t really seem the time and place…ugh, he was just screwed. So very screwed.  
“Everybody got their tickets?” Mr Jefferson called as he waved his hands to herd them toward the terminal. A collection of various man-grunts confirmed that everyone indeed did have their tickets. Sam’s seat was A1, probably because whoever had booked it had taken pity on his long legs. The only person who came close to his height was Lucifer, but as Sam’s ID was checked, he doubted even Fate could be that cruel.  
Wrong.  
Fate was entirely that cruel.

“Looks like you’re the poor sap that gets stuck with a teacher.” Lucifer’s erotic lips quirked up at one side as he slid on to seat A2, and Sam wondered whose heinous prank this was.  
“It- it’s not so bad, I guess. I could be stuck with gropes-in-her-sleep grandma. Been there, done that.” Sam pulled a face, and figured that the trick was maybe not to look at the hotness if he wanted to formulate functional sentences. The scent might get problematic though. And Lucifer might think he was A Bit Weird if Sam started to rub his face on him while drunk on cologne.  
“Ew, that sounds like a traumatic experience.” Lucifer bared his teeth in disgust as Sam steeled himself to actually look at the man. Damn, it was like Lucifer knew he was the lotus flower in the scum pond of life, just from the way he held himself. Mmm, Sam would like to see Lucifer ‘holding himself’ in another kind of way. The soccer captain all of a sudden realized that he should definitely fill the silence, and with something PG.  
“Uh, y-yeah, it still haunts me at night.” Sam’s whole face seemed to have caught on fire from simply talking to His Hot Highness, but earned the most adorable laugh. Unfair. Not fair. No. Lucifer wasn’t allowed to be cute too.  
“Well, I promise you I won’t grope you, sleeping or otherwise.” Lucifer shot him an amused smile, completely oblivious to the desire klaxons ablaze in Sam’s head. Hopefully he didn’t read too much into Sam’s way-too-nervous laugh or the possible flush in his cheeks, because this poor-ass student would _pay_ Lucifer to grope him all the way to Canada. “But we’ve got a long flight ahead, so if you have any more interesting stories, grandmas or no, I’d love to hear them.”

“Uh, not really.” Sam didn’t think he could make it through a long retelling of anything without accidentally slipping in ‘please fuck my ass’. “But you sound like you do – I mean with the throwing a guy out the window and stuff?”  
He could do it. He could keep a conversation going with this hot daddy of a teacher and not be a stammering schoolgirl about it.  
“Yeah, sure, but as your teacher, I’m going to have to make sure you watch the safety instructions.” Lucifer shot him that grin that probably made weaker men faint. This was going to be a long ride.

 

Six hours and uncountable on-off boners later, Sam was fairly sure he had resembled a functioning human around the man at least once. They’d talked on and off for some of the flight although Sam still had major issues as he always did paying attention to Lucifer’s words versus Lucifer’s lips. He did glean that the teacher had gone to Africa at one point for Biology Reasons and had accidentally played hippo rodeo in a river when the animals had tried to rip their boat in two. Nobody died, but Sam thought it was totally worth it if you got to add hippo rodeo to your resume. Sam had really had to stop himself asking whether Lucifer was single and ready to mingle probably 50 times during their conversation, but he was as successful at that as he was at managing to avoid Freudian slips, so winner winner chicken dinner. First part of Day 1 in Hell officially survived. 

Now Sam wrestled with the idea to ‘accidentally’ drop his head on to Lucifer’s shoulder as he pretended to sleep with headphones in, but God, he was too chicken for that shit. Why wasn’t he like Dean who could just swagger up to a hot chick, use some lame-ass pickup line then spend the night rockin’ the tent? Had Dean ever tried to seduce a teacher? Sam wouldn’t put it past him in all honesty. Wait, no, _no way_ are you going to ask Dean for tips on teacher seduction you dumbass! Sam rolled his closed eyes, but also filed the idea under ‘Use If Desperate’ right beside ‘Drink Until All Inhibitions Are Gone’. Ugh. Why couldn’t life be easy? Why couldn’t – 

Sam just about jumped out of his seat as a gentle hand shook his shoulder. Oh no. Lucifer was _touching him_. It’s only a fucking shoulder touch, pull yourself together.  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, but we’re landing now.” Was Lucifer teasing him? Now that was levels of unfair that should be illegal. The man just retracted his hand, unaware of the torment he caused whatever he fucking did.  
“Oh, right. Thanks.” Sam finally managed out, and removed his headphones as the plane roared on its descent.  
“No dreams about grannies then I hope?” Lucifer’s eyes danced and _that was definitely teasing._  
“I – uh, what? Oh, oh that. No.” Sam laughed in a way he hoped wasn’t as strained as it sounded to him. “No, no grannies.”  
Just various scenarios where I ride your dick, was the unspoken ending to that sentence, and boy, Sam had to do a double take in his memory to make sure he hadn’t said that out loud.

 

***

Lucifer frowned at the ceiling in the pitch blackness of a room in the team's hotel and thought back on that weird day. It wasn’t as if Lucifer hadn’t noticed Sam Winchester before, in the Holy Shit This Kid’s Grades Are Bad kind of way. He still wasn’t sure how the guy always managed to scrape a pass, and Lucifer didn’t mark with generosity. Mrs Masters, Sam’s English teacher, had thought it had to be a joke when he’d first told her – apparently the guy’s English grades were top rate. Maybe it was just his teaching, or maybe Sam was, like, negatively talented at Biology, who knew. The blonde rolled over and set his alarm for 12am – between the three of them, the teachers had to keep night shift watches to make sure none of the team decided to party on out to town. Personally, Lucifer just liked to lurk in corridors in the dead of night and scare the life out of students on their way to the bathroom; be that looming shadow in the dark that everyone was secretly afraid of in hallways. Mmm, the small pleasures of teaching. Maybe one night he’d meet Sam in the corridor.

Lucifer frowned and backtracked. Why had his brain jumped to that? Well, he had spent six hours on a plane next to the kid, and an hour or so with the team at the pitch to get ready for the game tomorrow…  
And he’s kinda hot, the little devil on his shoulder hissed.  
Oh no. No. We are _not_ going there, the angel growled back. _Student,_ remember?  
But he’s a _hot_ student, the devil wiggled its eyebrows in a suggestive way. You’ve seen him shirtless at lunchtimes. Could grate fuckin cheese on those abs.  
His demon had a point there, and his angel shot him a kind of ‘are you really that shallow?’ expression. Yes. Yes Lucifer was. But there were several problems with this particular path his brain had decided to take a tentative poke at. One: The chance of the guy being into dick was Not High. Two: Yeah, the whole student-teacher deal, but honestly, if Lucifer was gonna get fired for anything, a sexy scandal was at the top of his list - right above righteous murder. Three: Sam seemed shit-scared of him; the guy hardly met his eyes, his laughs were full of nerves, and he seemed to fidget when Lucifer was in close proximity to him. Hell, the only time the teenager seemed relaxed on the plane was when he’d fallen asleep. Well, until Lucifer had shaken his shoulder to wake him up, and the kid had just about done a Spiderman and jumped onto the ceiling. Why did he always frighten the cute ones?

So you _do_ think he’s cute! The devil crowed, and Lucifer sighed at the picture of Hot Ab Man it held up. It wasn’t even an accurate image, because it appeared that only Lucifer’s peripheral vision had picked up on The Shirtlessness. The teacher sighed and drew his hands across his tired eyes. He hadn’t decided yet. Lucifer had never really looked at Sam like that before, never observed that the guy had dimples or such white teeth, and now…oh no. Yep, he recognized that feeling. The you’ve-noticed-something-different-about-someone-and-now-think-they-might-be-hot feeling. But the duration usually spanned between a moment of afterthought like Lucifer had indulged in now, to full-on, red-eyed lust. Ugh, he’d sleep on it. If he saw Sam tomorrow and popped a boner then he was headed for Frustration Frontier. But if he saw the kid and thought ‘what in all hell was I thinking’, or just a simple ‘nah’, then no ticket to the pain train for this teacher. So Lucifer flopped over and went to sleep, blissfully unaware of Sam Winchester’s Suffering down the corridor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Senpai Noticed Him. Now it's game on ;) I'd love to know what you thought of the chapter, or maybe what happens next between these two. Do you think Lucifer has any sweet seduction strats? ;) Or maybe Sam will...  
> But thank you so much for all your kudos and comments so far! They really make my day and get me writing again! Y'all make me feel less lonesome n.n Also: thanks to your reactions, John is getting a different ending. Your feedback is really helpful! x) Cheers my buddies and stay awesome ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* (☞ ͡ಸ‿ಸ)☞*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a drink!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	4. T-E-N-S-I-O-N

Shit. Apparently letting himself be curious was a recipe for disaster. Lucifer caught glances of Sam at breakfast in the hotel cafeteria; the guy had shoulders like a tiger and the complexion of a damn Greek god. How had he not noticed this before? Well, because he hadn’t been looking. But now he was looking. Oh boy, he was looking. Not that Sam would notice; Lucifer had perfected the am-I-looking-at-you-or-out-the-window-behind-you stare. And the I’m-looking-around-the-room-and-you-just-happen-to-be-in-the-way stare, not to mention the oh so useful checking-you-out-in-as-many-reflective-surfaces-I-can-find stare. Oh, he’d played this game a good long while and knew _all_ the cheap tricks. So maybe Sam was cute. If Lucifer had survived a Puerto Rican knife fight, he could survive a cute soccer player. A hot soccer player. A smokin’ young buck who’d probably ride Lucifer’s dick like – 

“Watching those kids like a hawk, huh?” Jeff joined him at his table with a cup of coffee, since Coach Tran had gone forth to whisper sweet soccer strats into her players’ ears. And yes, Jeff was called Jeff Jefferson. Why, Lucifer put down to a lack of any exciting genes in the Jefferson family. Ok, all right, he’d thought Jeff had been kind of hot a few years back, what with his PE teacher muscles and passable looks, so he’d Facebook stalked him. When Jeff wasn’t being physical or educating, it seemed the man collected stamps and played golf with the most hideous sweaters Lucifer had ever seen in his life. Y’know, Lucifer might be a Biology teacher, but at least he had fun hobbies like destroying shit at the shooting range and parkour. He knew for a fact he could climb the gymnasium in 2 minutes and 35 seconds slightly drunk, but they’d find out if he could beat that record next Teachers Only day. Although really, it was the Darts Showdown between Mrs Masters and Pedro, their suspiciously talented janitor that Lucifer looked forward to.

“Yes, though I doubt they’ll get up to much trouble in a hotel cafeteria.” Lucifer said, having watched Sky High two nights ago in which a student had destroyed a cafeteria with fireballs.  
“Oh, I don’t know, kids these days are always getting into trouble with their texting and Timber and the Facebook.” Jeff sighed, and Lucifer forced his howl of laughter down. He even managed to keep his eyebrows in place through sheer willpower. God damnit, Jeff was 30 and called Tinder Timber like a grandad. Lucifer was three years older than him and could sound fairly convincing in three different languages, never mind leaving a ‘the’ off the start of Facebook. What a sad place the Jeff Jefferson household must be.  
“Yeah, though Coach Tran’ll have their asses for earmuffs if they put a toe out of line.” Lucifer hummed and took a sip of his green tea, and Jeff looked as though Lucifer had just implored Satan to put Mary, Jesus and Joseph through a blender.  
“I think maybe you should use better language around the students, Mr Darius!” Jeff sputtered and oh jeez, that was just asking to be messed with. The older blonde raised his eyebrows, then slung himself around in his seat to the collection of tables their charges sat at.  
“Hey bitches, get finished up, we’re leaving in ten.”  
A smatter of laughter danced through the room, and Sam looked over at him with an incredulous smile that could attract moths it was so bright. But the best reward was definitely the sheer scandal on Jeff’s face, then the man got up and went to sit at a less offensive table. That was one way of getting out of a conversation about how many stamp pages ‘the Facebook’ had to offer, Lucifer supposed.

***

In all honesty, never in his life had Lucifer been so enthralled by sport. Yeah, his dad had been a huge bare-knuckle cage fighting fan, which was why Lucifer could throw a man out a window at the tender age of twenty three. But being there with a team he supported instead of being in the Punching Zone was a whole new experience. That, and Sam was, like, a teenage dream. Gawd, Lucifer had never drooled so hard in his life. From his front-row teacher seat, it was plain to see the guy was tall, tan, clever and quick – his gaze was always sharp on the ball even when it was upfield, and it was like he had read Lucifer’s fucking tea leaves this morning to see where the other team would go next. One time, it looked like Sam knew where the opposing striker was going before he did and with a quick, easy flick of his foot, which _literally_ got Lucifer half-hard, the pretty thing sent the ball back off toward mid. 

The Biology teacher had tried to admire other players – maybe it was simply that soccer players were hot – but no. Brady’s snub nose pissed Lucifer off, the other striker’s crew cut made his head look like a fuzzy egg, Leon had too much lean muscle and kind of looked like his skin had been scraped on over his tendons and bones... Ugh, and then Sam jogged along, hair all a-flutter in the breeze like some romance-novel coverboy, with a firm wall of beefcake for a chest and a jawline you could fucking cut paper on. One ticket to board Flight Frustration for this fool of a teacher. 

Maybe it would pass, Lucifer sighed to himself at half time as he watched Sam tip water over himself like a fucking slow motion sports advertisement _right in front of him._ It was like Sam singled him out and found the exact spot where he’d get the best view. Jeez. Maybe he’d be saved by a discovery that Sam was Jeff 2.0 and murdered butterflies with pins for his creepy bug collection or something. Then again, as Sam flicked his sexy wet hair and the buds of his nipples showed through his blue and white sports shirt from the cold water, Lucifer agreed to himself that he might even condone a bit of butterfly murder for a piece of that. Sam glanced over at him, and Lucifer was caught out for a moment as the student met his gaze. So he gave the guy what he hoped was a nod of encouragement rather than bedroom eyes and then Coach Tran hollered for one of her famous huddles. 

“Ugh, God.” Lucifer muttered as his cock pointed like a fucking compass toward the hot soccer ass it wanted to fuck silly. He had it bad, and it had only been a day. But, y’know, the first week or so would probably be a lust-filled glut of great orgasms to Imaginary Sam, so he should enjoy it before reality stole the fun, sat him down and told him that Sam would probably punch him into next week if he tried anything. Lucifer’s head offered that being punched by Sam Winchester might be one of the most erotic bruises of his life, but then the whistle called for renewed play, and he steeled himself for another 45 minutes of Beauty and the Ball.

***

Sam _was going to die_. And he couldn’t die, because then Coach Tran would resurrect him and kill him all over again for dying on her. He closed his eyes and tried to will away the thick, urgent heat that insisted against the band of his pyjama pants. Today hadn’t been a bad day. A great day, in fact. They’d beaten today’s opposition 4-1, which sent them into the semi-finals on Friday. Dean had been over the moon when Sam called to tell him, as were Jess and Kevin over text, although Jess _would not shut up_ about Ruby and his ‘secret crush’. Whether Sam was going to start sending love notes soon or whether she should ask Ruby for unrequited love angst advice... Which brought Sam to his secret crush. 

The soccer player twitched his hand on his thigh, an inch of lost control away from just snapping and jacking off even with Brady in the bed across the shared hotel room. Had Lucifer been, like, staring at him at the match today? Or had it just been Sam’s overactive imagination? Lucifer had a way of looking at things sometimes, a kind of laser focus thing, like the thing he turned his gaze on held something of great importance,. And Sam swore he’d fixed on him like that at half time, and it _may have_ been the slight reason their score hadn’t been 4-0. And of course the guy would look his way when he decided to empty water all over himself like some jock douche. Well, he had been hot, but Lucifer probably didn’t want to bang a student that looked like a drowned rat. Ugh. He shifted on to his side, but it seemed his boner was not going to have mercy on him tonight. Sam sighed. He should probably go take care of it in the bathroom otherwise he might just end up making out with his bed in his sleep and poor Brady shouldn’t have to live through that kind of trauma, which was probably comparable to a moose trying to mate with a couch.

With a muffled groan, Sam eased himself upright. The clock to the left read 1am. Ugh, he’d been mooning for at least three hours. How did that even happen? It happens ‘cause you’re actually an idiot Sam, he sighed to himself, then backtracked before he got to the door. He should probably chuck on some sports briefs under his pyjama pants otherwise if he met anyone in the corridor they’d get the full fucking Bonersaurus experience, as Sam’s dick could never be subtle at the best of times. And he’d never be able to soccer-huddle again if Coach Tran came across him shirtless and horny in a dark corridor at 1am. Then again, knowing her, she’d probably have a soccer strat for a giant schlong, but Sam didn’t need that in his life right now. So Sam packed away his package, picked up his keycard and headed out.

He made it exactly three steps before Drama re-entered his life.  
“Not running off on us are you Sam?”  
The younger Winchester just about had a hernia as that slinky, low voice called out of the gloom. Oh. Fuck. His cock gave a pleased little throb, as if it hadn’t done enough damn damage. And maybe it was because he was pissed off at his idiot reactions or maybe he’d spent just enough time around the man for him not to be stricken dumb by sheer proximity, but he actually managed to answer like a normal tired human interrupted on their totally innocent way to the bathroom at 1am.  
“Yeah, actually, I’m headed to a pyjama party on the street. I hear it’s quite the rave.” He hadn’t meant to sound quite so sarcastic, but he had to channel his horny anger somehow.  
“Mmm, someone gets sassy when they’re tired.” Lucifer crossed his arms with an amused tone, eyes low lidded, and Sam’s cock pulsed damp as all that translated into _flirty_. Fuck, he must be tired.  
“Uh, I, uh, guess.” Apparently one proper sentence was his quota around Lucifer right now, but he _swore_ the teacher’s pale eyes flicked on to his bare chest for a second. Just stare. Sam didn’t mind. Stare at his man-tits, ogle his abs, press him up against a wall right here and now and pound him till he couldn’t speak. 

Ooh, God, his needy little virgin ass twitched, and a flush of lust-brewed heat coiled down through his taught stomach. Yeah, maybe Sam had packed condoms and lube. And yeah, maybe he should start carrying them around with him in case flirty Lucifer in darkened corridors became a regular thing.  
“Well I won’t hold you up.” The other man gestured Sam on his way, and the student took his chance; his cock had gone all tight, like if Lucifer even looked at him the right way it might finish him. And even the calm and collected Biology teacher might freak the fuck out a little if a student just started orgasming in the hallway in front of him. Sam, you’re a fucking creep, he reminded himself as he stumbled into the bathroom and after a second to check it was empty, picked a stall at random. 

Shit, he was so hot and a mess of need; he just stripped down his pants, took a seat and eased a hand onto his desperate cock. The thought of Lucifer’s hands all over him, Lucifer’s lips… Oh, oh fuck, he was gonna…Sam managed to get three ecstatic tugs in before he came so hard he curled in on himself. His stomach shuddered, a rush burst up his cock and his toes spasmed on the floor. Oh Jesus, he snapped one hand over his mouth, because every breath seemed like a roar in the silence of the night, so every gulp of air as he spattered his bare chest with heat sounded like everyone, especially Lucifer in the corridor, could hear him. 

Fucking hell. Sam just panted there, dazed with bliss for a long moment or two, hand still cupped around his thankfully spent cock. This was insane. Before Lucifer had come along, jerking off had been _good_ but not…it hadn’t made him want to moan, it had never absolutely blown his mind and left him so out of it. God…he panted to himself and straightened up. Right, he just had to clean himself up, make it past Lucifer without spreading like he wanted to be buried in a Y-shaped coffin, and go to sleep.  
Day 2 of Hell survived, 5 to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Lucifer’s ridiculous backstory begins. Hope you’re enjoying the tension! Honestly Sam and Lucifer are having a much better time than I am. Had a shitty week, and on top of everything my laptop cord broke. Now I’m using my old one, whose dire state you can see [here](http://swaglexander-the-great.tumblr.com/post/163849642265/my-brave-soldier-still-valiantly-charging-my), and I doubt it’ll last the week, but I can’t afford a new one unless I don’t buy food. :/ Idk, if you enjoy my writing and have a dollar or two spare, **[please help me](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2)** out. I’m not gonna say I won’t update next week if you don’t: you don’t deserve to miss out because my life sucks. I’ll find a way. In the meantime, thank you so much for all your comments, they were pretty much the only thing that kept me going this week. I'm sorry if my replies weren't as good as usual. Anyway, thank y'all for everything and stay awesome my buddies. ♡♡(´•ω•｀♥)♡♡
> 
> Also: I have noticed some of my ideas cropping up in other fics. I don’t mind, but it would be really nice for y’all to put a little mention in the notes or something idk. Sorry for being a grump, I hate to end with all this. So have a cute cat.  
> 


	5. Animal Magnetism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I know as much about Canada as I do about the US, so welcome to fictional Canada :P

Sam was distracted from hard-core daydreams of reoccurring night antics by a trip to the zoo. He’d forgotten they were even going to do things other than be Coach Tran’s slaves and become sexually repressed over hot teachers. Well, in Sam’s case. He hoped the other’s weren’t sexually repressed over teachers because as understandable as it was in Lucifer’s case, Sam didn’t want to have to commit murder. Mr Jefferson desire was fair enough, they could go ham on that, although lusting for Coach Tran might be a bit too far.   
But as far as outings went, well, they didn’t have a game for two days. Thursday was all booked out for extra training and strategizing, but that gave them Wednesday (and the Saturday between semi-finals and finals if they made it through) to be entertained. Because no way was the school going to let eleven jockfuck boys loose in Canada by themselves, not a chance. So Wednesday it was the zoo.

Sam was probably a little more enthralled by it than the others, but hey, most of these dudes came from rich-ass families who probably went to places like this all the time. Sam hadn’t been to a zoo since he was a kid, and despite a lot of people’s opinions on them, he didn’t find it amoral. A lot of the creatures, like the rhinos, wouldn’t survive days in the wild, and here they could be bred and saved and maybe one day there would be herds of them again. Or maybe Sam was an optimist. But it would be even more sad if the big grey creatures vanished – up close, Sam had never realized how prehistoric they appeared with their heads that stretched far too long and folds of skin that looked like plate armour. There was something gentle and scary about the two tonne tanks, which made Sam want to linger more when his friends, who seemed to have the attention spans of two year olds, jostled him to move on. 

 

“The trick is to be calm, quiet and patient.” Lucifer seemed to have taken the ‘quiet’ step of his own tip a little too seriously almost made Sam jump into a fucking lake. This zoo had an open aviary for these great big green parrot-like birds with wicked hooked beaks that Sam had never seen in his life. They didn’t seem all that shy – the parrots would bounce along the wooden rails beside the path and just do their business unless some kid tried to grab them. The swan, on the other hand…well, Sam hadn’t gone past it yet, but it seemed on a mission to drag an unsuspecting zoo-goer to the swampy depths; he’d watched its long white neck snake out and try to bite Leon as his friends moved on. Maybe it would be safer to stay with Lucifer. Maybe he knew, like…swan-wrestling.  
“Well you seem to have got the ‘quiet’ part down.” Sam looked back at the man, and realized they were alone in the area – it was a Wednesday in school time, so the soccer team pretty much had the place to themselves.  
“Mm, I was in the SAS for a while.” Lucifer said in the most offhand way, and Sam’s brain snapped from _so very alone with Lucifer_ to _what???_   
“You were in the Special Air Service?” Sam stared at him with wide eyes, and a big green parrot bounced up on to a boulder to the side of them and cocked its head, as if surprised too. From dad’s army ramblings, Sam knew the SAS was some top level serious shit in the UK.  
“No, I just wondered whether you’d believe me.” Lucifer’s oh so gorgeous lips quirked up, and his eyes danced. Sam’s little brother instincts kicked in with a low power bitchface before he could stop it, but Lucifer turned to the third party in the conversation. “Come on then.”

The weird parrot straightened, squatted a little bit, then flapped up on to Lucifer’s shoulder.  
“Wow!” Sam had a grin on his face before he knew it – not only had he caught a glimpse of bright orange under its wings, but it was _on Lucifer_. Lucky bastard. A parrot was getting further with his teacher than he was.  
“Kah.” The bird seemed to know it as well.  
“Mm, they’re called keas.” Lucifer side-eyed the bird with a smirk, and another two sort of bounced over, as if they were interested in this new sport of human-surfing. “Some of the smartest animals in the world. They’ll take your car apart, they prank humans by moving roadcones and blocking off roads, slide down tents for fun…keep an eye on your backpack, they’ll steal the zips off it.”  
“Kah!” The kea agreed and shuffled on Lucifer’s shoulder.  
“Sounds like you’ve – “ Sam had started to reach across toward the bird, but Lucifer snatched his wrist before he could make it far. Oh jeez, he’d sacrifice all his zips to the keas if they got Lucifer to touch him more. He tried so very hard not to make a helpless high noise at the fact that Lucifer’s grip was really alpha. Like, gentle yet firm. Oh jeez, Lucifer could be gentle yet firm with him any day. 

“They’ll take a chunk out of your finger as well if you’re not careful.” Lucifer’s hand seemed to burn over the throb of Sam’s pulse, and heat went South again. Great, now he could add ‘Boner With Keas’ to his ridiculous erection scenarios.  
“Uh.” It seemed Sam had been reduced to caveman speech again, but his friendly neighbourhood kea came to the rescue; it gave a bound and a flap up on to Sam’s shoulder as if it approved of their very nearly hand holding. The strange, random thought of ‘marry us’ slid through Sam’s head, but he doubted keas had that kind of ecumenical power.  
“Hey buddy.” Sam found his voice again, probably ‘cause Lucifer let his wrist go. He was kinda glad of his backpack strap right now, because as awesome as being a perch for a kea was, those talons were wicked.  
“Kaah.” The kea trilled, then, with its mischief managed flapped off back into a tree. It’s friends eyed Sam’s backpack with interest and he was torn for a moment whether to sacrifice it just to spend more time with the little guys or to save it and run.  
“Come on, there’s reptiles up next, and I love snakes.” Whether Lucifer was doing a flirtation or not, Sam’s brain went there and almost made him reply ‘yeah, I like dick too.’ And so he played it safe with a nod, padded after Lucifer, and almost got kneecapped by a swan.

***

Sam buried his face with a very unmanly squeal in his pillow before Brady came back from the bathroom and caught him out. He kinda…maybe thought Lucifer liked him. The guy had practically given Sam a personal safari, had _joked_ with him, and once Sam had crawled out of Caveman Mode, they’d had actual good conversations about like… things they _liked_. He’d been less nervous than their previous Plane Encounter, because it seemed when Sam had Animal Friends things weren’t so overwhelming. Like Sam learned Lucifer wanted a pet snake, but didn’t think it’d be humane to keep one with the amount of time he spent at work. He’d even managed to convince Sam snakes were cute with their ‘lil snouts’. The younger Winchester just sort of gushed about soccer here and there, and Lucifer seemed really keen to learn the rules. And when Lucifer went on awesome zoology rants about certain animals, Sam did his best (his very best) to pay attention and not just eyeball the man’s Mouth of Temptation. Lucifer was right about the calm stillness too. Without Sam’s lovable yet rowdy mates, and a one-minute-max viewing time, he got…well, to enjoy himself. Lucifer had the patience of his profession and Sam was so thrilled he could finally spend as much time as he liked with both Cool Animals and Sex Beast. The soccer captain would never forget when they came to the cheetahs; one of them just lay in the sun and purred for them. It had been adorable, Lucifer’s Cat Facts had been awesome and it had been _purrfect_. Unfortunately, now everything was 100% more frustrating.

Sam just…they’d _actually talked properly_ when Sam forgot he was around SexyTeacher.png. Lucifer hadn’t even brought up his abysmal grades. He _must_ like him. A bit. Maybe? Or was he just easy to get along with? But it seemed like Lucifer really _wanted_ to get along with him. Or was Sam imagining all this shit to complete his hot teacher fantasy? It seemed too good to be true, but _ngggg!_   
Lucifer seemed to want to get to know him, and Sam, oh Sam _definitely_ wanted to get to know him. Dean would say ‘Dayenu’. Well, not if he knew Sam was doing love-heart eyes for a guy. A guy teacher. An older guy teacher. An older guy teacher who might just be being a decent person and Sam was reading it all wrong. Or was totally hitting on him and Sam couldn’t see a good thing if a kea slapped him in the face with it. Sam just made a frustrated sound into his pillow.  
“I just wanna _knoww._ ” He whined to himself, then had what was probably a bad idea, but hey, how could things even get worse at this point? So he tugged out his phone and found Jess.

Sam: So how do u know if a guy likes u

In exactly one (1) second, his phone dinged.

Jess: OMG  
Jess: WHAT HAPPENED  
Jess: OMG HE’S ON UR TEAM  
Jess: WHICH ONE

Yep. This had been a bad idea.

Sam: Just tell me crazy lady

Jess: TELL ME FIRST

Sam: I’ll give you a clue?

Jess: DEAL.

Jess: Right, so…they usually like single u out for stuff. Like a movie alone or lunch or something. And talk to you more. Lame pick up lines? Lol I remember u just stammered a lot and used *Attachment: [Cute_Eyes.jpg](http://swaglexander-the-great.tumblr.com/post/164119118230/found-on-pinterest-i-would-love-to-know-the)* it was adorbs. Idk, do gay guys stare at yo dick or ur ass? Like wat is tits for men.

Sam: Ass probs.

Jess: Do he stare at ur ass?

Sam: Idk, I can’t c my ass.

Jess: He probs does. You got a A+ ass.

Sam snorted with a grin, and bit his lip at the thought of Lucifer taking little sneaky glances. He so would be that sneaky.

Sam: But how do u like /know/ know?

Jess: ??

Sam: Like I keep thinking maybe I’m imagining it?? He’s being nice but maybe that’s normal

Jess: Is he usually like that w u?

Sam stared at that for a moment, propped up on his elbows. No, actually. No, before…before the plane flight Lucifer had just treated him like a normal student. Hadn’t even ogled him on Bare-Chest Tuesday. Sam’s heart jumped right up into his throat, and he had another stupid grin on his face all over again. Maybe he wasn’t imagining it so much? Maybe Lucifer had, like, _noticed_ him.

Jess: I’m gonna take that as a no!!! Oooh little sammys gonna have a boyfriennnnd

Sam: Shut /up/

Jess: so grown up

Sam: ffs

Jess: MY CLUE NOW BITCH

Sam: he’s hot.

Jess: THAT’S FUCKING SUBJECTIVE

Sam: He’s really hot?

Jess: Not good enough

Sam: Oh no my phone is about to die wat a shame g2g thx

Jess: dnt u dare Samwise Winfuck

Sam: byee

He grinned like the little shit he was and turned off his phone so he didn’t have to hear the fifty angry dings of a gossip-deprived Jess. Yeah, he was a little dead when he got home. But that didn’t matter cause Lucifer _probably liked him_. But how to make sure without giving anything away? Damn. Sam eyed his phone, but decided that more Jess-tips were out of the question for now. Maybe he should just Go For It. But the teacher problem always reared its ugly head. Urghh, why did life have to be so hard?? A miracle had come upon him and he’d fallen for a gay guy, but lo and behold he be a teacher. Well first things first: priorities. Winning the Under 20’s came before Stupid Love Drama, so get that out the way first. If he needed to jerk off ten times a night to survive, then so be it. When they’d done their games, then Sam could focus on the best way to jump his saucy teacher.   
Oh dear. The words ‘saucy’ and ‘Lucifer’ went together far too well. 

On that note, and not for the first time, Sam kinda did wonder what butt sex would be like. He’d touched himself, sure, like on the outside. But getting even fingers in there was tricky: angles weren’t easy, he hadn’t actually had any lube till he bought some to go on this trip (him and his wild imagination), so it hurt more than he read it should when he improvised with soap and whatever other vaguely slippery substances he could find. And even if he had got lube, his household wasn’t exactly a wonderful place to experiment. He didn’t get, like, weekends to himself like Brady or Kevin did, no way in hell could Sam ever own a dildo (literally, what other excuse could he make up for that than wanting it in the ass), and Dean would probably disown him if he snuck in to prank Sam or fetch him or try to gleefully bust him watching porn, and found his little brother trying to shove whatever vaguely dick-shaped household item he could find up his ass. 

Dildos and cocks were also…kinda large. Like his _fingers_ had burned. How could a dick possibly feel like something other than The Spanish Inquisition warming up? Sam had Incognito Googled that anal could be good, that it could be one of the most pleasurable things for a guy. Oh, he was so sure that if anyone knew the secrets it had to be Lucifer. The teacher had such clever hands, confidence around sexuality, and experience that Sam could so very vividly imagine would translate into _fucking great sex.  
_

But before Sam’s dick could even twitch at the flash of one of his many kinky desk scenarios he was so fond of, Brady opened the door and scared it back into submission.   
Day 3 in Hell survived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The shenanigans continue ;) I have actually been sat on by a kea before and it was pretty awesome, although they do very much bite D: I would also like to mention that when I was posting this chapter, this fic had 666 hits. I live for the irony. Secondly, I'd like to say thank you all so much for your support last week! It meant the world to me, and as a result I was able to get a new laptop cable and keep writing and everything. I put a pic [here](http://swaglexander-the-great.tumblr.com/post/164119326860/swaglexander-the-great-my-brave-soldier-still) because I just like to show the proof of your kindness c: This week was much better, and I would love to hear what you thought of this week's chapter! Things are getting Spicier, and I'd love to hear any guesses about how this ridiculous pair get together ;) Other than that, if y'all are into Captain America/Thor, I started a fun lil series over [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11788296) which you can check out!  
> Thank you again so much for all your comments and kudos through the week, you really do help me out a lot. Stay awesome my buddies (˶′◡‵˶)爻(♥ O ♥)
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a drink!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	6. The Soccer Championships Final

Lucifer’s Evil Plan had worked. And by that, he meant that Sam didn’t seem quite so downright terrified of him anymore. Or maybe the reason Sam had stayed with him at the zoo was because he was afraid that if he tried to escape the lowkey Biology lectures, Lucifer would smack him with a concealed ruler and make him sit down again. But it hadn’t seemed like that. Once the tall beefcake had stopped stammering and making eye contact with anything but Lucifer, Sam perhaps got the gist that Lucifer was trying to be Cool Friend Teacher. Although Lucifer was pretty sure the other guy hadn’t noticed that Cool Friend Teacher had literally taken him on a date. The both of them, alone, getting to know one another…maybe there hadn’t been any ferocious making out at the end, but he’d take what he could get. Whoever said Lucifer didn’t shoot for what he wanted could suck it.

The teacher took his usual front seat at the US & Canada A-Grade Under 20’s Grand Final, chest actually tight with nerves, because fuck he wanted a win. Maybe it had been Sam’s enthusiasm or Sam himself, or the atmosphere of the whole tournament, but he’d turned into a bit of a soccer fan himself. So Lucifer looked back on the week for a distraction with a glazed expression, to hopefully deter Jeff from trying to make awkward, polite conversation with him.

Thursday, Lucifer hadn’t even tried to prize Sam away from Coach Tran’s steel grasp, and but hey, he couldn’t really trick himself into thinking he was serious about this ordeal. If opportunities to bask in Sam’s sun-tan glow came along, well, he’d take them, but he wasn’t gonna be a creep. Sam would just be (sigh) another impossible crush that came and went. One day Lucifer would meet a man who wouldn’t be another in a long line of disappointments: Number one (after the string of apparently ‘phase’ boyfriends in highschool) had been a little _too_ obsessed with horses for any kind of healthy relationship (that wasn’t with a horse), number two had been far too malleable and Lucifer had eaten his personality for breakfast, number three had been a cage fighter, and they’d destroyed far too much furniture in good ways and bad ways for that to ever really work, number four had been a liaison with a literal African king, but jeez, _that_ had become far too complicated, and number five had kind of been a psychopath competition toward the end, which had ended up with Lucifer hurling a motorcycle helmet through the man’s car window. Now here he was with Potential Candidate Number Six (one-nighters not counted), an Adonis of a student who probably was straight and might get him fired. Fun. 

The Quarter Finals on Friday had been a nail-biter: despite the Lawrence Leopards’ vicious attack, the other team’s goalie had been almost too good – out of six balls that made it to the net, only three got in. The opposition had been up 0-2 until the second half. Lucifer had no idea what Coach Tran had done to the boys in the back room, but they came back like machines, Sam especially (or maybe he was just watching Sam more, sue him). The big guy went _aggressive defence_ and boy did that get hot under Lucifer’s collar. The other team didn’t even get near the net, because Sam, having legs for wonderful days, could get places faster than the other team seemed to anticipate: he got up in their stunned striker’s feet before the guy could pass it, he stole the ball when the striker tried to pass it, he was just a horrendous pain in the attackers’ asses, and their descent into frustration was a beautiful thing. Relatable too. Maybe Sam was a little wicked. Lucifer hoped not, because that would make him perfect.

Saturday had been…interesting. They’d taken the boys to one of Canada’s Scenic Lakes, because God was cruel and wanted to torture this teacher with more half naked Sam. _Wet_ half-naked Sam. So what could Lucifer do, but at least match the half-naked part, which Jeff the Prude got all huffy about. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t expected a Biology teacher to be as buff as him (hey, parkour kept him in shape), or maybe it was the slightly satanic _**LUCIFER**_ tattoo across the back of his shoulders, from the ol’ cage fighting days. Of course, his plan worked a dream: all he’d had to do was lie on his front on the grass to conceal his raging Sam boner, read his kindle, and after a few minutes in the sun, sure enough his ink milkshake brought all the boys to the yard. Including a certain wet, half naked soccer captain. Maybe it didn’t quite work in Lucifer’s favour, because Sam just stared in a way that the teacher couldn’t quite figure out was a positive was or not. Not, the teacher had to go with, as when Sam nearly walked into him in the corridor that night, the guy was a stammering, scared mess again. Darn. Ah well, it’d been worth a shot. But hey, if Sam was too vanilla for tattoos, maybe Lucifer was better off with half naked, wet Imaginary Sam for his before bed pleasure until he found his next pursuit. Little did Lucifer know that his object of lust had just about been sobbing with need to jump on his hot, surprisingly well-muscled _(unfair)_ , oh God, _tattooed_ Biology teacher’s dick the whole mini-van ride back.

Excited cheers brought Lucifer back to the present as the players jogged on. Coach Tran braced her hands on the bar of the sideline as though she were a commander watching her battalion of troops head into the fray. Well, from what he’d seen, her coaching bordered on Spartan, so Lucifer would have to thank her one day for Sam’s wonderful abs. But then the whistle went, and even Sam’s abs fled from his head. 

Lucifer supposed he was an odd sport-viewer; he became so focussed on the events that he forgot to cheer or clap. He just sort of held his breath and tracked the plays like a cat entranced by a string, and today he almost damn well suffocated. Both teams were in it to fucking win it, there was no mistake there. Today’s opposition appeared to know the Leopards’ aggressive attack play, perhaps from a previous meeting, and their defence seemed as solid as Sam and his downfielders. Neither of them wanted to give an inch, but a after the first twenty minutes of back and forth, something odd happened. It was almost as if the Lawrence midfielders let the other team’s striker through for a run. Of course, crystal ball Sam Winchester seemed to have predicted everything and was there to tackle the ball away. But this happened again and again, and only with that one particular striker. Sam even switched from mid-back to left or right to do it, and Lucifer couldn’t figure out for the life of him why. And then when the poor guy had been passed the ball for fifth attempt to kick a goal, it became clear. Oh so very clear, and at that moment Lucifer believed he might actually have fallen in love.

The second Doomed Striker took possession, Sam sidestepped, flipped the ball around the other guy’s ankles with some footwork that should have had a FIFA Live Replay, and then kicked it back to Shane waiting in mid.  
“Fuck you, you fucking asshole!”  
Even Lucifer could hear the other guy spit, and before his team could stop him, he shoved Sam in the chest. Of course, the nearest player ran in to break it up, but the whistle had already been blown with a red card and free kick to team Leopards to boot. Oh that was dirty. That was fucking dirty. Sam knew exactly what he was doing, and that he couldn’t be fouled for psychological mind games. It was just coincidence, right? Oh Lucifer wanted to suck the guy’s dick for that. That was Lucifer’s kind of twisted.

The game was more straightforward after that; Brady took the kick and scored, and the opposition, down a point and a player, seemed to fall just a step behind. The final score came 2-1, the 1 against from a foul Lucifer didn’t really understand although Sam had probably explained it at one point. But that didn’t matter; his dreamy captain had won. 

 

Sam didn’t know what to do with himself when the full-time whistle went. They’d… His heart just stopped in his throat, and then it all crashed over him. They were the _champions!_ Adrenaline spun his head as he grinned, he punched the sky with both hands and dropped to his knees with sheer happiness. Sam ran his hand through his hair and laughed as Ryan the goalie pulled him up into an ecstatic hug.  
“Yes, yes!” Sam grinned into his mate’s shoulder. If Lucifer, like, ran on to the pitch and French-dipped him into a kiss right now, that would make his day the most perfect thing in the world.  
“C’mon, Captain.” Ryan caught his shoulder, all smiles, and they both jogged toward to where the impromptu hug-jostle celebration had conglomerated. A feral shriek caught Sam off guard for a second, then Coach Tran shot toward them like a whistling bullet.  
“Beautiful, perfect, amazing – “ She leapt on George and Brady for a what could have been a hug or an attempt at a wrestling take-down. “You boys have made me proud!”  
She hauled Sam into a hug, and even though he’d probably feel that in the morning, it was just...indescribably awesome. He shared a glance with Brady, then in a quick move, they both got an arm under one of Coach Tran’s knees and lifted her up onto their shoulders with a cheer. She just waved her fists at the sky and whooped as though they’d won the FIFA World Cup. God, Sam didn’t think he’d been this happy in his life.

 

The next half hour passed in a blur: they shook hands with their opponents (although Sam’s favourite striker wouldn’t come near him), trophies got dished out, they got their team picture taken – as captain, he got to hoist the trophy in the middle and got patted on the back by everybody. It was just…a dream. A dream come true, really. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face, but thought he managed to come out with something coherent, vaguely inspirational yet humble when asked to say a few words about the match to some sports reporter. Sam hadn’t even realized there had been footage cameras at the other games, and he was kind of glad he hadn’t noticed; that would have just heaped the pressure on even more. But none of that mattered now, because _they’d won._

“Sam Winchester?” A voice Sam didn’t recognized called as he made his under the stands to the changing rooms. To his disappointment, it was a female voice, so not Lucifer out to jump him for a post match shag.  
“Yeah?” He broke off from the team and let them carry on down the hallway as he turned to face the woman. She was kinda older than him, maybe mid-thirties, with catlike eyes framed with crinkles.  
“Pamela Barnes, FIFA Representative and coach.” She offered a hand, and Sam’s stomach just about fell out of him in shock.  
“Oh, er, hi.” He closed his open mouth and took the hand as she gave him a warm smile.  
“ID?” Coach Tran spoke up from beside him, and Sam hadn’t even noticed she’d lingered, still with the trophy (that was half her height) under one arm. Probably for the best that she’d stayed if it had been some weird reporter or fan or something. 

Only after Coach Tran had given Pamela’s ID a thorough thrice-over, did she let her speak to her precious captain.  
“Frankly, Sam, I believe your play style is world-class. Your footwork and game analysis are reminiscent of top world players, and I don’t say that lightly.” She glanced at a clipboard cradled in her arms, and Sam couldn’t quite believe his ears; his heart throbbed so hard he could feel it in his chest, and adrenaline went straight to his head again. Coach Tran might have to carry him out of here if things got too much, and he was fairly sure she was capable. “I’m not the only voice in our institute – there are several of us who have to review choice players – but I want to present the footage of your games to them for selection into the FIFA US Under 20’s team for international competition next year. I believe you have a very good chance of making the trials and the team.”  
“Um, wow, okay.” Sam breathed, not sure whether to laugh or cry or collapse or anything. Luckily Coach Tran had his back like a true bro.  
“Let me give you his number, mailing address, email address and secondary contact.” Coach Tran handed him the trophy, clicked a pen out of somewhere, and before Sam could wonder how and why she’d memorized that, his coach had taken Pamela’s clipboard and scribbled everything down.

“Well, thank you both, and I’ll be hoping to see you again soon, Mr Winchester.” The dark haired woman threw him a friendly wink then sashayed off down the corridor. Sam might have just got lost in space and time if Coach Tran hadn’t grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him down to face her.  
“Sam Winchester, you are _going_ to get in that team, you are _going_ to represent your country. I want to see you in Under 20’s, I want to see you in the Olympics, _I want to see you in the FIFA World Cup,_ you got it?” She growled and Sam blinked out of his daze.  
“Yes Coach Tran.” He managed out in an unacceptably weak voice.  
“What?” She gave him a vicious little shake.  
“Yes Coach Tran!” Sam barked and was released back into what he couldn’t really believe was the real world.

By the time he’d made it down to the changing rooms, the rest of the team had already changed, and appeared to be on Lucifer’s case about something. The man leaned, elegant as a cat against the wall with an amused expression as Brady showered him with pleas. God, Sam felt so on top of the world right now that even Lucifer didn’t seem out of his grasp. If the opportunity came along, fuck it, he was going for it.  
“Ah, Coach Tran.” Lucifer smiled, and his languid eyes shifted to Sam for a second, but Sam was too damn confident and high on adrenaline right now to look away or get nervous. He just smirked back, trophy smooth and cold under one arm. “These boys wanted a celebratory drink. And since the legal drinking age in Alberta is eighteen, well, I don’t see a problem with it…”  
Sam wondered where Lucifer had stowed Mr Jefferson’s dead or unconscious body for this conversation to even take place. Ugh, it was probably unhealthy how he found the idea of Lucifer snapping Mr Jefferson’s neck kinda hot, but hey, he’d long ago ascertained that he was a Weirdo.  
“I know a cool bar close to our hotel!” Shane piped up and interrupted Sam’s stupid brain which decided to come up with a scenario where he just winked at Lucifer and said ‘snap my neck, daddy’ as a pick up line. He graded that particular fantasy C and moved on. Sam had forgotten Shane’s parents were from around here, but hey, that was Fate telling them something. 

Coach Tran glanced up at him, a smile on her lips, and by his game-reading instincts he could tell she was a wheedle away from agreement.  
“Go on, Coach, we have a lot to celebrate…” Sam threw in the puppy eyes for good measure, and wonder of wonders, miracles of miracles, Coach Tran cracked.  
“Okay, but one or two drinks, that’s it.”  
Sam barely heard the last half of her sentence over the boisterous cheers from his teammates. And that also gave him an idea. Drink Until All Inhibitions Are Gone had been on his ‘Desperate’ list, but he’d hit ‘Desperate’ the second Lucifer had taken his shirt off like a sexy, tattooed, calendar daddy-o at the lakeside. Fuck it. He was gonna do it.  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slightly late chapter, I got woken up by frigging church bells and had to catch up on sleep :c But here ya go! What's gonna happen next? Is Sam's plan gonna work or is Lucifer going to keep the tension going? ;) I hope you liked the further development on Lucifer's backstory too, I'm having a lot of fun with it. In any case, I'd love to hear what you thought of the chapter - your feedback and comments are the best! Like, it makes the journey of the story so much more fun when I have so many awesome people to talk to it about and who enjoy it...agh, y'all are so amazing ♡ Thank you so much for your comments and kudos so far, and stay awesome buddies! ︵‿(●⌒ｖ⌒●)︵‿
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a drink!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	7. Let the Sin Begin

Lucifer didn’t think he’d seen anyone glow as much as Sam in his entire life. For the whole evening a smile had only left Sam’s face to drink or talk, and it was just wonderful to see the kid and his team so happy. Lucifer sipped his vodka cruiser and heard Sam offer to get the second round. Of course, Lucifer had enforced he’d pay the bill; he was a little better off than the usual Biology teacher, as he took school holiday jobs as a stuntman. Given he looked very similar to this era’s choice of James Bond, well with a touch of very smooth talking, parkour demonstrations and his clever resume, he’d earned a buck or two and even a psycho boyfriend last year.

The bar was a pretty nice one as they went – Lucifer had honestly expected a club dive or something, but it seemed that it was one Shane’s parents often ate at, so they hadn’t had to decline and go in search of something a bit more appropriate. It was one of those glossy-wood-galore bars; the tables were varnished, the low beams were unpainted, but it wasn’t too snob rich bitch either. Just kinda homey and a parent-friendly place to take your kid. The manager had been all too happy to push two table together to accommodate them; it was late on a Sunday night, so the scatter of tenants was probably much lower than, say, Friday, Saturday and paydays. So if the boys got a bit boisterous, it wouldn’t be too much of a public embarrassment. 

Lucifer watched Sam stride up to the bar in his peripheral vision as Coach Tran went over another enthusiastic recount of the team’s best plays. He wondered whether she had instructed the team to psychologically wreck that striker like that, or whether it had been Sam’s wonderful, malicious ide–  
Lucifer almost snapped around as the bartender poured a full shot of whiskey for Sam, and the soccer captain tossed it back before the rest of the team could notice. He did it again, and Lucifer’s eyebrows just about hit his hairline. What even…? Mr Too-Vanilla-For-Tattoos was hitting down the whiskey like it was a competition! But why? Lucifer turned back to the conversation a little bewildered as Sam filled his hands with bottles and made his way back over. He was certain that Sam downed another one when he went back to collect the rest of them too. Maybe the guy was a secret alcoholic or drinking competitor, but for such an sport-healthy lifestyle, that didn’t really make sense. Lucifer just thanked the probably very tipsy soccer captain as he handed Lucifer another bottle and the teacher helped himself to a fry to help chew over his confusion. But as he kept an eye on Sam down another beer, it seemed he just got a little more relaxed and laughed more, but kept it together. Well, whatever floated Sam’s boat, he supposed. Live and let live.

A tap on Lucifer’s back pulled him out of more soccer recounts, so casual it might have been an accident. Sam had got up, walked past him, tapped him to get his attention, but the guy didn’t stop or anything. He just glanced back like the seductive little minx he was, then headed toward the bathrooms. That wasn’t so weird with how he’d been putting it down, but the mystery deepened when Sam took the door on the left, the door to the alley outside the restaurant. What?? Had he read the sign wrong?  
“Linda, I’m just going to check if Sam’s alright. I think he may have had a bit too much to drink.” Lucifer murmured to Coach Tran, who laughed, a bit tipsy herself, and waved him on his way. The teacher rose – whoo, some of that vodka went a little to his head but in the warm, fuzzy kind of way – and padded after Sam, eyebrows lowered in confusion.

The cooler air washed over Lucifer’s skin as he opened the door, a nice contrast to the stuffiness inside the bar. It took a moment for his vision to adjust to the darkness, even with the orange eyes of the windows behind him.  
“Sam –? “ Something, someone grabbed him by the shoulders and slammed him into the brick wall, and Lucifer almost kneed his attacker in the solar plexus before he realized it was the missing student. He didn’t even get a chance to ask what was going on, because that firm, warm body moulded right up against his chest. One of Sam’s hands gripped into Lucifer’s blue canvas jacket, while the other cupped his jaw, and the teacher’s brain sparked short for a moment.  
“I want you, I want you, I _want_ you,” Sam panted between electric, hot kisses down Lucifer’s neck, and Lucifer just froze from shock. 

“Sam, I – you’re drunk.” He tried, but his cock swelled with heat, rose against the hardness of the other man. Jesus, Sam was a big boy. Oh, the Lord knew his weaknesses, and big cocks were one. Oh fuck, he wanted to grind on that _so_ bad. Before Lucifer could consider when his life had become the best kind of porno, his own hands decided to smooth up Sam’s muscular shoulders and down that pretty little waist. His breath came too fast, and he tangled one of his hands into Sam’s long hair, unsure whether to pull the student away or pull him closer.  
“No, _no_ , I’ve wanted you for ages, the whole fucking year – “ Sam broke off to suck up Lucifer’s jaw, and then hot, desperate lips caught his. Either throw the hot student off now or dive right in. He couldn’t just keep standing here. Okay... Lucifer had never been the most straight-set guy. And what could you do when a hot mess of a gorgeous soccer captain jumped on you? Fuck it. He pushed against Sam’s lips, grabbed that fucking tight little ass and ground against the solid line of Sam’s cock. The taller student moaned like Lucifer had always imagined he would, and thrust back with urgent drags of his hips. God, the hot breathlessness and adrenaline of this snapped something in Lucifer; he forced his tongue into Sam’s mouth, but Sam just made an erotic little noise around it and sucked it, he slid his hand under Sam’s shirt, then shoved as much of his hand that Sam’s belt would allow down the back of those hot jeans.  
“ _Oh_ please!” Sam moaned into his lips, then pulled away from him. 

For a second, the teacher thought he might have gone too far as he panted in starved breath. Then one of Sam’s hands grabbed his free one, and then the big guy dragged him down the alley and around the corner. Before he could even help himself to Sam again, the student pressed a condom and a pocket-size bottle of silicon lube into his hands. Jeez, this guy had really come prepared, hadn’t he? To think that Sam had wanted him all this time, that he’d even frickin bought condoms and lube along just in case just went to Lucifer’s cock. There was a jingle of a belt buckle, and the slightly stunned teacher looked up to see Sam braced against the wall, perfect, bare ass presented to him. God, that thing could put fucking David Beckham’s to shame.  
“Please, please, please…” Sam panted, voice ragged with need, and well…Lucifer was a weak man.

 

Sam couldn’t believe this. His stupid plan had worked. The world blurred from booze, his skin burned hot, his cock, fuck, his cock dripped on the concrete below him, so hard he’d never felt it like that before. Because oh _God_ , Lucifer had kissed him, he’d sucked Lucifer’s tongue, Lucifer _wanted_ him and touched him and had gotten hard so _fast_ … Another moan slipped out his mouth as the cooler night air got his bare skin, so sensitive it tingled. The thud of his heart filled his ears, because this was it. He was about to have sex. It sort of thrilled through him for a moment that he, Sam Winchester, the nice guy, the nerd, was spread half naked against a wall, about to have his virginity taken by a man he barely knew just because he wanted it. God, he was such a filthy whore, fuck, but he wanted it _so bad._

“Oh fuck!” His nails scratched at the moss and shit on the brick wall as Lucifer’s fingers, slick with lube warm from his pocket, circled over his hole. Unh, his legs shook with how good even that was, but then again, with the placebo effect at work, this would probably be incredible no matter what Lucifer did. Sam just rolled back his hips, legs spread wide open to give Lucifer access to him, and oh _shit_ that was sensitive! A shudder fled straight up Sam’s stomach as those nerves were teased in a way he’d never managed himself –  
“Relax.” Lucifer’s soft growl sent another bead of precome down his eager cock, then a high whimper of incredulous delight left Sam’s throat as a finger pushed in him. This was it, fuck, another man was _in_ him, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a long, strained second as he tried not to orgasm right then. The drunk blackness swayed behind his eyes as the whole world plunged into a delirious mess of sensation.

“God, you’re so tight.” Lucifer panted into his neck, and Sam just clawed the wall, just desperate to hold on so he could come on Lucifer’s cock. “This isn’t your first time is it?”  
Fuck.  
“No, of course not, I just haven’t had it for a while.” Sam had no idea how his brain came up with such a coherent lie right now, or maybe it was worried Lucifer might back out if he knew he was taking Sam’s virginity against a wall in some back alley.  
“Ok, ok.” Lucifer’s hot lips kissed his neck as Sam’s cock fucking _wept_. “Just relax.”  
The student panted for a second and focussed on trying to obey, but when Lucifer slid in a second finger, oh fuck, oh fuck, he was going to come.  
“Lucifer, get in me.” He panted, wild and so hot sweat stuck his shirt to his back in the cool night. Had Lucifer hit his sweet spot? He didn't even know what that felt like.  
“Sam – “  
“Please, or I’m gonna come. I wanna come on your cock, get in me, please.” He kind of garbled in desperation as the throb in his groin teetered him on the edge with another sure stroke of fingers. Oh, proper lube was so much better. It ached, but didn’t sear, and everything moved much easier. Those fingers slid out of him, and Sam took a shaky breath, tried to calm his overwhelmed senses so he could hold on for just a little longer.  
“Damn you.” Lucifer hissed in his ear, but Sam was rewarded with the rip of a condom wrapper and the click of the lube bottle again. “Keep relaxed, and I’m gonna go real slow. Tell me to stop if it hurts too much.”

Sam’s reply choked off in his throat as the thick tip of Lucifer’s cock pressed against him. _Shit…_ A moan burst out his mouth before he could stop it, and he arched himself back even more. That was Lucifer’s lube-slick cock, fuck, he was gonna fuck him, and Sam was just about sobbing from need. Everything about this was filthy and reckless and maybe even illegal, but he was drunk and about to be taken to Heaven by Lucifer, so Sam didn’t give a shit. Breath blew out of Sam’s mouth as somewhere under his drunk numbness his ass protested. There was an absence of raw pleasure inside him, which wasn’t quite what he’d imagined, but he didn’t want to stop, he’d die before he stopped. Alcohol throbbed through his senses, made the brick wall dance as Lucifer's thickness breached him, skewed his ability to care about pain when he was this wild for the experience.

“That’s so tight, unh, you’re so tight.” Lucifer’s hand squeezed his hip in pleasure and moved in just a slight bit more. A shudder flashed through Sam again, and as he watched, his cock jerked, slick and so covered in precome it was wet all the way down, like, fuck, he’d never seen his body react like this. Then Lucifer moved in a smidge further, and Sam gasped at whatever-the-fuck-that-was. What…that wasn’t pleasure like when he touched his cock. That was…  
“Oh God.” Sam heard himself groan as his whole body trembled around this hot, stiff thing inside him. He never imagined this would turn him into such a shuddering, weak mess. “Oh God, oh God, oh God, I can’t – “  
“There?”  
A very loud moan tore out of him as Lucifer twitched his hips and nudged it again.  
“Yes, yes there!” He could hear his own voice quaver, as one of Lucifer’s arms wrapped around his trembling waist, and his teacher’s voice was in his ear again.  
“Touch yourself.”  
“I’ll come, I’ll come.” Sam panted, forearms pressed so hard against the brick that he’d have pressure marks.  
“Good. Be a good boy and come for me.” _Shit._ Lucifer’s teeth scraped along Sam’s neck, and Sam just about came on the spot for the ‘good boy’.

“’k, ‘k.” Sam gasped and lowered a hand that shook to his cock, which had flushed a deeper colour he hadn’t even thought was possible. He wrapped a hand around himself and gave an experimental flick of his wrist.  
“Oh God, oh – “ Sam didn’t get a chance to get louder, because Lucifer’s hand on his waist snaked up and covered his mouth.  
“Good boy, good boy.” Lucifer panted in his ear like a fantasy come to life, thrust a little quicker on that spot and it was far too much. Sam’s spine went rigid, he arched back in pleasure, and his thighs shook like he had hypothermia. He was glad Lucifer’s hand was over his mouth, because he couldn’t control his cries as his balls shuddered up and come spurted out of him in such an intense orgasm that it spattered the brick wall. Shit, shit, shit, that was good, that was _so good._ He convulsed, lost in sensation as he just kept coming, hand still on his cock until his seed petered off to a leftover, hot dribble over his fingers. _Fuck._ Sam went limp, shaky left arm still somehow able to hold his weight against the wall. The world blurred from the drink and whatever Lucifer had just done to him as his ass contracted around his teacher’s still unspent erection.

With practised movements, as Sam panted in a daze against the other man’s hand, Lucifer thrust deeper into him with husky little groans and gasps into his neck, and God…it _filled_ him. Sam’s throat choked through this daze as that thick stiffness pushed his body open, took his virginity intense and deep, and –  
“Oh fuck Sam.” Lucifer grunted in his ear, then the hand on Sam’s hip pulled him so far down on to Lucifer’s cock that he could feel the open belt and zipper of the other man’s jeans pressed against his ass. Oh God, he was fucked so open and spread so wide, and there was no sensation even like this. The older blonde tensed, and damp breaths made Sam’s ear hot with condensation. Whimpers pushed out against the teacher’s hand as Sam realized Lucifer was coming, fuck, Lucifer was coming in him. It got to Sam’s head so bad that if he could have orgasmed again, he would have. Instead he just drank in the sensation of Lucifer’s cock in him, Lucifer’s touch, Lucifer’s little spasms as the other man filled the condom inside him.  
Ok. This day was officially the best day of Sam’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! You bet Sam's gonna feel that one in the morning :P Sorry it's a bit late by the way, but I wanted to get y'all quality coded/edited content instead of things in a bit of a rush. RIP the Medium Toastage though lol. I hope you enjoyed it, although I don't think it was quite what a few of you were expecting ;) Surprises all around! I'd love to know what you think tomorrow morning is going to be like for the pair of them or anything you have to say at all! You're comments make my day and some of the things y'all say is really interesting and helps me reflect on my writing even better, so thank you so much :D On a side note, I have another Thor/Steve Rogers fanfic up [over here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11927772), so feel free to check that out if you like the ship or just want some fun Avengers. Cheers again and stay awesome my buddies ♫ヽ(゜∇゜ヽ)♪♬(ノ゜∇゜)ノ♩♪
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	8. Knock Knock! Who's There? Reality, Bitch.

Lucifer pulled out before his cock went limp and the condom came off in Sam’s ass, because that would so put a damper on how fantastic that had been. A little niggle in the back of his brain, which he recognized from sleeping with exes whispered ‘you probably shouldn’t have done that’, but Lucifer ignored it like usual. God, he’d never had sex with someone as tight or responsive as this dream of a man. His groin still thrummed with heat, his hair stuck with sweat, and he hoped to whatever luck he seemed to have tonight that Coach Tran and the boys were too drunk to notice that both he and Sam had gone away for a suspiciously long time and come back sex-mussed. 

“You alright?” He slid the condom off his spent cock and just tossed it into the ally; he couldn’t be bothered being a respectful person right now, other than to Sam. Lucifer ran his least sticky hand up Sam’s bare hip as the student gave a blissed-out groan, which sounded kinda how Lucifer felt.  
“I think I can die happy now.”  
Lucifer gave Sam’s hip another little rub as a leftover shiver fled up the student’s skin, then let him go to zip himself up.  
“I hope you _are_ happy, because my job is pretty much in your hands right now.”  
“Ungh.” Sam hauled his jeans and pants off the floor, and did them up before he turned back around. “I’d much rather have something else in my hands.”

Those unfocussed brown eyes slid down to Lucifer’s crotch, and the Biology teacher snickered. Sam really had it bad, didn’t he? Then again, Lucifer was one to talk.  
“I think you’ve had enough for tonight, Sam, drinking and otherwise.” Lucifer grinned as the long-legged soccer captain did a great impersonation of a newborn baby deer as he staggered off the wall.  
“Mm, be romantic and carry me.” Sam didn’t really give Lucifer all that much choice, just threw an arm around Lucifer’s luckily strong shoulders and slumped a bit. Oh jeez. Sam, like his cock, was very large.  
“You’re lucky I like you.” Lucifer, sex-blissed and tipsy himself, grunted and wrapped an arm behind Sam’s back. But it was true – he did like Sam. He liked talking to him and he didn’t mind looking after him when he was, y’know, blitzed by whiskey, beer and who knew what else Sam had put down when they weren’t looking. Besides, he’d taken Lucifer’s cock like a champ, so he deserved to have a slave for a bit.  
“Aw you liiiike me.” Sam grinned and giggled while he was dragged along, as though he’d just discovered Lucifer’s deepest, darkest dirt. Luckily that was classified even to the CIA, so no chance of that.  
“Yeah, I do like you, you drunk goofball.” Lucifer sighed and shifted Sam’s weight a little to get the door handle. “Come on, I’m gonna take you to the bathroom to get us cleaned up. You’re coherent enough to do that yourself, right?”  
“Yeah.” Sam nuzzled into Lucifer’s jaw, and that made him smile a little. Sam could be damn adorable when he wanted to be.

***

The slightly louder whisper of ‘you shouldn’t have done that’ woke Lucifer up at a the pleasant hour of eleven o clock. Some merciful admin had booked their homeward plane for 2pm, so they hadn’t had to get up at 6 to make it to the airport.  
“Mm.” Lucifer swatted it away because what was done was done. Y’know, if things went south like they probably would (well, they were all literally going south, Lucifer’s morning brain offered, but he kicked it and its jokes back to the depths where it belonged), then he’d just have to deal with it wouldn’t he? Lucifer was pretty sure nobody had noticed their liaison. Sam had got a bit of flak from his mates for being a ‘lightweight’, but he took it in good humour and didn’t give anything away. Ugh. Lucifer yawned and stretched so hard his back popped. Today might be very interesting.

_Knock knock knock._

Oh jeez, couldn’t today have given him a moment or two to wake up before it got interesting? No, apparently not.  
“Mm, coming.” Lucifer wiped the sleep out of his eyes and considered that he should probably get a shirt. But the chances of it being a sullen Jeff wanting to know what happened last night were high, and what could he say, Lucifer liked to push that man’s buttons.  
“Yeah?” He opened the door and immediately froze. Definitely not Jeff. Sam Winchester, the student who he’d taken up against a wall last night. An anxious fizzle sizzled down Lucifer’s chest, as Sam neither looked mad nor happy. Just tired really.

“Hey. I wanted to come see you before everyone else got up.” Sam seemed a little on edge, so Lucifer took it cautious.  
“Okay. Is…Is this about last night?” No, it was about his Biology homework, duh it was about last night.  
“Yeah, I guess. Uh…” Sam squinted a little in the hallway lights, and ruffled his own hair a little as if trying to find the right words. Lucifer just kept his breath easy and the slight panic under control. “Well we have, kinda a long flight today and, well, my ass is – hurts. I mean, I’ve never really found a solution to it, but I thought you might, um, know.”  
Sam finished with a nervous little laugh and Lucifer just about collapsed with relief. Well, not for Sam’s ass but yeah.  
“Oh jeez, sorry about that.” Lucifer ran a hand through his hair and looked back in his room, head on the tick through what could help.  
“Oh no, no don’t be. I mean, I’d definitely do it again.” Sam stopped for a second in horror, then opened and closed his mouth, eyes wide. “I mean, y’know, not…like if you –“

While Sam stammered away, Lucifer glanced both ways down the corridor then dragged him forward by the front of his shirt into a kiss. The soccer captain just froze in shock for a moment, then his lips relaxed against Lucifer’s and those big, warm hands brushed down the bare skin of the teacher’s sides.  
“I always wondered why you got so nervous around me.” He shot the taller guy an amused smile, and Sam ducked his head with a grin. Aw, baby. “Anyway, I don’t really think I have anything with me that’ll help. Baths can ease it off, you can buy or order numbing creams, but…I guess I could sign you off for some Advil?”  
“Yeah, that’d probably help with my head as well.” Sam grinned back, now not even ashamed that he gaze travelled down to Lucifer’s bare chest. Well that had turned out better than he’d expected.  
“Ok, give me a moment.” The teacher turned back into his dim room and looked around for a moment to remind himself where he’d put the first aid kit. He did not get his moment, because two muscular octopus arms snaked around his waist.

“I love your tattoo.” Sam hummed, and kissed along the back of Lucifer’s shoulders, and the Biology teacher smirked a little as something firm shifted against his ass. Oh to be a teenager and get, like, a million boners a day. “Why’d you get it? I mean, it kind of is your name…”  
“Prison.” Lucifer grinned as Sam snorted.  
“Fuck off. Come on, really.” Those large hands wandered down Lucifer’s chest and stomach, in a real subtle path. But although Sam seemed happy, and Lucifer was certainly very happy, they had to be careful. If Jeff did come along and saw Sam going for tackle that wasn’t soccer related with his half-naked teacher, then Lucifer for sure would be in the shit.  
“Ten years of professional bare-knuckle cage fighting?” Lucifer smirked and eased himself out of Sam’s hold before the student could get too far. “Sorry kid, as much as I’d like this morning to have a happy ending, we have to be careful, y’know? If you want to make us a regular thing.”

He turned to see Sam, who looked half frustrated and half in grudging agreement, but still very handsome in the dim room.  
“Yeah, I guess.” Sam sighed and rubbed his forehead, which sent Lucifer toward the Advil again. In some wonder of genetics, Lucifer had never got hangovers, no matter if he had one beer or drank himself into a blackout. “I mean, is that ok for you? You’re the one who’ll probably get fucked if anyone finds out.”  
Lucifer just picked up the medication and form, and grinned like a demon. “I never say no to a bit of risk. That’s the spice of life.”  
“It’s gonna drive me crazy though.” Sam groaned as he signed the form. “You’re so fucking hot.”  
Lucifer couldn’t help it. He just threw back his head and laughed – they were both as damn shallow as each other it seemed. Perfect.  
“You think you’re the only one who’s gonna get driven crazy?” Lucifer tipped out two tablets and handed them to his cutie. “That ass is gonna drive me nuts in class.”  
“Well at least you don’t get bad grades for it.” Sam sighed, and Lucifer raised his eyebrows in realization.  
“Seriously. That’s why you’re so bad at Biology?” He couldn’t keep the laugh out of his voice. Last night Sam had said he’d wanted Lucifer for the whole year…Jesus. He kinda felt bad for not noticing the kid until now. 

Sam just shot him a very done look and downed the pills without water. Not much of a gag reflex on that one. Now that was a fun fact. Although Lucifer might have to practise his deep-throating techniques because oh lord did he want to take Sam all the way down. Or maybe he should just work on his other tricks so he didn’t choke to death on an impressive cock. That would be a anticlimactic way to go after all he’d lived through, but his family and friends wouldn’t be all that shocked. At least they would know he died happy.  
“Well, we’ll have to see what we can do about that to fix it, and no, sleeping with me is not going to help.” Lucifer’s lip twitched up, and he had a slight moment of panic as he realized that might have been the reason Sam had jumped him.  
“Ugh, I had a feeling you might say that.” Sam rolled his eyes. “It’s totally unfair.”  
“Well, I am, to coin your phrase ‘fucking hot’ so maybe you’re not the only one.” Lucifer breathed a little sigh of relief, threw him a wink, and to his delight Sam’s eyes went into Bedroom Mode. “Now, get on out of here before your friends start missing you.”  
“Don’t I get a goodbye kiss?” Sam said it like a bad pickup line he’d heard from someone else. Even so, Lucifer was tempted. Oh to just pin him on the bed and grind on him till they both came to messy completion, but that wasn’t the smart option. 

He prowled over to the student, eyes laser focussed on the younger man, and Sam swallowed for a second. His put-on bravado sort of vanished like a mist as Lucifer put a hand on his chest and leaned up.  
“You’re pushing your luck kiddo.” He held Sam’s eyes as the soccer captain’s breath quickened across his face, then pulled him into a quick, rough kiss. Just the fact that he could do that, that he had free range with Sam’s mouth at least had his cock rise half-hard. “Now off you go.”

***

Sam had found a fresh hell. This fresh hell was sitting beside his sexy, flirtatious, great-smelling fuck buddy (was that what they were?) teacher on a six hour flight without being able to touch. It was like the Universe was determined they get to know each other before they fucked each other silly. That was probably for the best, but still. It didn’t help that Lucifer handled his lust monster better, and was a fucking tease. Just little touches here and there, little innuendos, little glances at Sam’s junk and smirks, and at the four hour mark, Sam wondered if he could manhandle the Biology teacher into the toilet cubicle like in Britney Spears’ Toxic music video. But alas, Britney Spears music videos were not reality and Sam’s lack of control over his vocals might make the whole shindig a bit obvious. There was a second layer to this fresh hell as well; this trip had been a break from life, from home and from family. To return after so much had happened, even just over a week seemed surreal. Would he get to see Lucifer outside of school? Would Jess interrogate him Batman-style about his secret crush? What would happen if Dean found out? Oh God, what would happen if dad found out?

Sam’s fear must have shown on his face for a moment, because Lucifer cocked his head.  
“You look troubled.” The sandy blonde frowned, and Sam tugged his earphone out with a sigh. He glanced behind them to make sure that Leon and Warren had their headphones on, then turned to Lucifer.  
“I…I’m not exactly _out_ , y’know, and I’m just…my brother and my dad, even my mom, I’m not sure, they might react badly.” He tailed off and Lucifer’s handsome features settled into something tinged with pity. “My dad especially, I don’t know.”  
Sam wasn’t sure how to proceed: if he started going all Tragic Backstory on Lucifer…well, he just didn’t know the teacher well enough to predict how he’d react. Ditch him, change the subject, tell Sam how his life was so much worse…  
“What’s your dad like?” Lucifer asked in a kind of offhand fashion, as though they might be talking about the weather, but offered an open hand to him under the aeroplane armrests. Sam swallowed and took it.  
“He’s ex-military. Him and my mom argue a lot, but she has to stay with him for us. He thinks that, like, women belong in the household and men should go out and do hard work. I mean, he’s never y’know _really_ violent, but I just don’t know what he’d do to me or to you especially if he found out. For, like ‘turning me gay’.” Sam just found a whole lot of random information pour out of his mouth, but he got there in the end, he thought.  
“Don’t you worry about me.” Lucifer’s lips turned up in amusement. “I can handle a man with a gun and a man without one.”

Sam wondered for a moment whether Lucifer was really some kind of ninja posed as a Biology teacher to atone for clan dishonour or something. He could roll with dating a ninja.  
“But if anything happens on your end either call the police or call me. If you can’t call, then you’re welcome at mine anytime. We man-lovers gotta watch out for one another, huh? And it’s about time I got your number.” Lucifer shot him a wink and tugged his phone out of his worn jeans. Sam was going to have a shock on Monday when he came back to find Lucifer in dress pants and that snappy white shirt. That or he was just going to jizz in his pants beside a very traumatized Brady. 

Sam shifted on his sore ass and hauled his phone out too as a swell of brightness bubbled up his chest. He supposed that had been one of the reasons he’d been attracted to Lucifer: for the protection, because he seemed braver and badder than Sam was right now. And everything the teacher had just said clicked in another piece of security. God, he had daddy issues. He’d literally gone and found Hot Dad Replacement, you weird fuck. But if it made him happy, why the fuck not, huh? Besides, Lucifer didn’t look even thirty yet, but that was probably because he was some immortal hippo-surfing ninja with a thirst for hot soccer players. Sam just smiled to himself at that and began to type as Lucifer read out his number and address.

***

“Where’s my champion, huh?” Dean pulled him down into a headlock and scrubbed his fist on Sam’s head before Sam could do the usual flail defence.  
“Agh, Dean!” Sam grinned and dropped his luggage to elbow his big brother in the stomach.  
“Hey, mind the goods, you dirty cheater!” Dean yelped as Sam realized his elbow may have gone a little bit too low.  
“It’s not like I can see, you jerk!” Sam laughed out and was released back into the wild of the airport reception area. Lucky for him, most of the team had gone with the teachers for free school transport back to school to be picked up from there, so they didn’t get to witness their glorious captain be taken down a notch by his big brother. Because Dean being Dean had wanted to be there to catch the aeroplane if it fell out the sky or something, Sam didn’t know.  
“We saw you play on TV and mom cried, she _cried_ when you won.” Dean clapped Sam on the back so hard he almost faceplanted the ground as he tried to pick up his luggage. A swell of happiness flooded through him as he thought of them doing everything they could to watch him play. Oddly enough, although Sam had lied to Jess about his phone being short of battery, the Karma of the Universe had dictated that was grounds to make him realize he’d forgotten his phone charger. So lie became reality, and this was the first Sam had heard from Dean after he’d sent him the Shit My Phone’s About To Die message.

“TV?” Sam hacked out when he’d recovered from the brotherly bruising.  
“Yeah, we went over to Bobby’s and surfed through all the skeevy channels until we found the Obscure Sports one that had the under 20’s championships on it.” Dean grinned, proud enough to burst, and Sam found himself with a wide grin as well. He wasn’t sure whether to tell everyone that he might be picked for FIFA next year, because it was only a might, and he wasn’t sure how Dean would take it – him leaving them for some glorious future while they got stuck with dad. “You’re a goddamn twinkletoes with that ball, though I woulda taken a swing at that douchebag who shoved you.”  
“Yeah, and that’s why you don’t play soccer Dean.” Sam grinned as they passed through the sliding doors to the carpark. He couldn’t imagine his broad blunderbuss of a brother on the soccer pitch. Maybe football or baseball.  
“Hey, you pull something?” Dean frowned at him as they made their way toward the carpark, and Sam tried to keep the Absolute Guilt off his face as he realized he’d been limping a little from taking a full grown man’s cock up his ass.  
“Yeah, my hamstring’s a little sore. Dunno what I did.” The younger Winchester swallowed, and all of a sudden it seemed _so obvious_ that he’d had sex and that Dean would just _know._  
“Eh, we got some Deep Heat at home, it’ll probably help.” His big brother shrugged and Sam’s heart returned from its impromptu trip to his throat.

“So c’mon,” Dean shot him a knowing look, and Sam sighed. Here we go. “Sports champ like you’s gotta pull a few hot cheerleaders. Get one under the bleachers, a quickie in the changing rooms?”  
I got my ass pounded by a hot daddy teacher in a skody back alley behind a pub, Sam was tempted to say, but he had a small hunch that wasn’t the answer Dean was looking for.  
“Dude, soccer doesn’t even have cheerleaders.” He snorted as they made a beeline toward the unmistakable shape of the ’67 Impala to the scrape of suitcase wheels against tarmac. It seemed after dad’s little rant on Friday and Saturday’s full once-over of the car, Dean had kept it so bright it mirrored his face even with only streetlamps as light sources. Sam wondered how many people it had blinded in the full Kansas sun and if there was some kind of insurance claim to cover that.  
“Then hot soccer fangirls! Or soccer moms if you’re into that.” Dean mused, and Sam sometimes Worried about him.  
“Ew, what the hell.” Sam pulled a face as his brother unlocked the backseat doors for him to chuck his shit into.  
“You never thought about that? Hm.” Dean pulled a ‘fair enough’ face, and even Sam couldn’t tell whether Dean literally wanted the soccer mom booty or whether he was just screwing with him. Either way, Sam shot him a very perturbed expression, considered the Therapy Discussion and hopped into the shotgun.

“How’re things at home?” Sam tried – if he was coming back in the middle of an argument, he wanted some warning.  
“Good actually.” Dean nodded and revved up the guttural engine. “Dad saw the game we recorded and he, y’know, made one of his pleased grunts. Might even let you keep your gay-ass hair for longer.”  
“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Sam shot a glare at his brother, who wasn’t aware of how his light comment curled a ball of discomfort in Sam’s stomach.  
“Yeah, but at least I’m a handsome one.” Dean shot him a perky smile, Sam rolled his eyes so hard that Lucifer could have been making him come up against a wall again. Back to life, back to reality, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a friend like Dean who doesn't understand the implications of slurs like that. Lucky she had me to teach her otherwise c: And what happened to Jeff? It's classified. Anyway, that was the dreaded Morning After! Not as bad it coulda been huh? ;) Tell me what you thought if you like! I always enjoy what y'all have to say so much, it always makes my day to hear from you ♡ and cheers to everyone who had already left comments and kudos, this wouldn't be half as much fun without ya! Thanks again and stay awesome my buddies ♥*♡+:｡.｡ଘ⍢⃝੭｡.｡:+♡*♥ 
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a drink!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	9. Hey, That’s Not What A Desk Is For

New relationships were always gonna be fucking confusing as shit, Sam decided over Coach-Tran ordered rest day (Tuesday) of essay panic and gay panic. Should he text Lucifer every day or would that be clingy? But if he didn’t, would Lucifer think he wasn’t interested? Should he go over to Lucifer’s place or would that be too much? Did he just leave it and pray for miracles? And how did he feel when Lucifer did or didn’t text him? How much time should he try and dedicate to Lucifer, and how much time should Lucifer dedicate to him? Should they interact much if they wanted to keep their relationship on the downlow? What even was their relationship? Sam’s brain just hurt thinking about it all. He didn’t want to try too hard, but he didn’t want to not try hard enough. Lucifer though, with his wisdom and lack of teenage angst, swooped in and saved the day yet again with a text.

Lucifer: Hey kid, how u doin?

Sam, being both in Essay Panic and Gay Panic mode, had jumped on the phone for some well-deserved but very dangerous procrastination. He’d even take Jess’s interrogation if it meant he could give his eyes a break from the screen to look at another screen.

Sam: Essays are pain.

Lucifer: And Bio homework?

Sam: Kill me.

Lucifer: Later. U take that bath?

Sam sniggered at Lucifer’s snappy response, despite the fact that no, he hadn’t gotten further on his Biology.

Sam: We haven’t really gt one. Took a long shower tho and it’s a bit better.

Lucifer: Good. I would invite u round bt i have a week of marking and shit to catch up with. and u know that wouldn’t happen w u here.

Sam: Lol true. I got essays to write so I guess I’ll c u Wednesday?

Lucifer: third period. Have fun in homework hell.

Sam: y know sometimes u suit ur name.

Lucifer: Thanx. I try. Flirt w u latr?   
Lucifer: Oh, u should prob delete our conversation jst in case.

Sam: ok. I’ll prob only txt u when I’m alone too, cuz my brother assmes everyone I text is a potential gf and steals my phone to make sure or send stupid txts.

Lucifer: Sounds like fun. Let him txt me I’ll scar him for life.

Sam: Yeah case and point that should nvr happen. Nyway, essay ugh

Lucifer: ruin all my fun. K, dnt die of stress.

Sam: I’ll try.

Sam grinned to himself like an idiot as he deleted their conversation. Somehow Lucifer just knew how to make things easy. This wasn’t like Jess where there had been awkward goodbyes that went on for fucking years ‘cause they only knew ‘couple’ etiquette from movies, or tryhard flirting in like, every line, because that’s what he thought he’d been expected to do in a relationship. It was like Lucifer was a friend. A sexy and flirtatious friend. This might work out better than Sam could ever have dreamed.

 

This was fucking terrifying, Sam thought in the queue outside their Bio Lab on Wednesday as the previous class filed out. He hadn’t seen Lucifer for one and a half days. Just faceless texts. Text Lucifer and Real Lucifer seemed like totally different people. Sam had no idea how he was going to talk to Real Lucifer, who would probably be in Serious Biology Teacher Mode and not Friendly Teacher Sexy Mode, and Sam would be back to Idiot Square One. The ol’ stammer n’ stare.  
“Sam.” A firm hand grabbed his bicep, before he could make it to his usual back seat, and Jess dragged him down beside her. At least his ass didn’t hurt anymore, or the solid landing might have been more disastrous. “Clue. Now.”  
“Jess, come on.” He grinned out of nerves more than anything else as she raised a neat eyebrow. “I don’t know! I dunno what’s a clue that won’t give it away!”  
“Then just tell me? Pleeeease?” Jess tried to use puppy eyes, but Sam, King of the Puppy Eyes, was not swayed.  
“No!” Sam laughed, and tried to break the conversation by fishing for his actually finished Biology homework. Lucifer thought he was hot, he might be in FIFA next year, and he’d done his Bio homework. Truly an age of miracles.

“Just one clue. One small, itsy bitsy little clue?” Jess pouted, and Sam sighed. What was a not obvious clue? Tall? No, cause the majority of his soccer team weren’t all that tall. Blonde? No, there were only three blondes, not including Lucifer. Caucasian? Too broad. It was like a fucking game of Guess Who inside his head.  
“Uh, he’s…” Sam trailed off and probably drooled a little bit as Lucifer strode in. God, fuck. Up the front, it was so obvious that those dress pants really clung to the teacher’s ass, didn’t they? And with that crisp white shirt tucked into his waistband, the lighter colour really highlighted the broad V of Lucifer’s torso. Ugh, Sam bet his bulge was better defined in dress pants too. Not to mention the man’s forearms, bared as usual by rolled up sleeves. Thick, a little tanned, with the dust of blonde hair that just looked so fuckin _manly_. Hello Suffering old friend.

“What, forget to do your Bio homework again?” Jess mistook his amorous stare for an _oh shit_ stare as she followed his wide eyes and smirked with a nerdy kind of huff, because she knew Sam was a little trash when it came to Bio.  
“No, uh, I mean, I guess your clue is that you kinda know him. I mean you probably talk to him a few times a week.” Sam settled for that one, having finally managed to tear his eyes away from the slow motion Baywatch entrance of daddy-o teacher.  
“Hmm.” Jess narrowed her eyes in thought, as Sam’s dick decided that 5 seconds of Lucifer was more than enough to get excited over and throw him into further Torment. Why the fuck had he let Jess drag him to a front seat again? “I know quite a few of your gang. I probably talk to Brady the most. And he’s really cool… Or maybe it’s Leon. Y’know, blacker is bigger.”  
She shot him a wink, and Sam dragged a hand over his face. “I cannot believe you just said that.”  
Before Jess could come up with any more mentally scarring images of his soccer mates, Lucifer hopped up on the desk-sink-bench of the Lab and began to take the roll. 

Ok, Sam had to hand it to him. Lucifer could play it cool. In fact, had it not been for vivid dick-in-ass memories, Sam could have believed that everything was back to normal: Biology ft. Sam the Mooning Student and Lucifer, the Hot yet Oblivious Teacher in true Dr Sexy MD style. Today, they’d been given stations to look at; images of skulls, tools and sometimes plants were at each one, along with additional other things like fire and weapons. The task was to write the correct station and what it displayed under the correct date after group discussion over which hominid the display was about. Lucky Sam had Jess in his group, because he spent a third of his time purposefully bent over as many science benches that he had an excuse to bend over, another third of his time trying to stare-but-not-stare at Lucifer in his delicious white shirt, and a meagre third of his time half-focussed on the actual work. Nope, one frustrated fuck had not solved Sam’s concentration issues. He had an endless supply of horniness, it seemed, and Lucifer either loved to feed the fire or felt the need for payback over Sam’s gratuitous ass propositions.

“So Sam, what can you tell me about Station C?” Lucifer leaned right up beside him on his chosen surface to bend over on for this station. Their shoulders were a millimetre apart even though the teacher addressed him in front of his group, and Sam could have pressed his forearms against Lucifer’s with the smallest movement.  
“Uh, w-well, they have tools, so it’s not the really early ones.” Oh Jeez, he was looking down again, and tried to recall the names, which the station unhelpfully did not have. Jess and Sarah just liked to see him cook for a little bit, or might possibly be afraid that Lucifer would scalpel their sleeves to the bench if they interrupted his interrogations.  
“Mm, they’re rounded aren’t they? But the occipital lobe on the skull is rounded too and the front of the face is less prominent, so…?” Lucifer raised his eyebrows just a little, and even that made Sam’s dick do very active things. He opened his mouth and hoped a breathy squeak of desire didn’t come out.

“Um…” They’d already done _afarensis_ and _homo erectus_ (who Sam could sympathize with right now), so given the fact this bunch didn’t have fire…”Homo habilis?”  
“Perfect.” Lucifer practically purred, and Sam shot him a probably quite nervous grin. Why oh why was he like this. “Sarah, what are these tools called? It’s the Star Wars one, if you remember.”  
“Oldowan!” Sarah jumped on the name like a normal person, and Sam scribbled that down with its memory key because that would definitely help.  
“Good. Seems like your group is getting on well. You have 15 minutes to get through the last two before we go over answers.” Lucifer pointed at the clock as a reminder, and as Jess and Sarah started to head off to the next station, the teacher just muttered in a low voice. “Your jeans are obscene, you know that?”  
Ok. Maybe Sam had picked the tightest jeans in his closet. But he was a fucking slut. He’d accepted that fact.  
Sam didn’t even get to reply, as Lucifer upped and moved on without a single grope. Ugh, he’d have to try better tomorrow. Maybe he should just come to school in the Soccer Trip Carwash Fundraiser Bootyshorts and really give Lucifer’s pokerface a run for its money. Ahaha, yeah, stick to reality Sam. He sighed, headed on after Jess and Sarah, and tried to ignore the vicious press of his cock against his too-tight jeans.

 

By the time the lunch bell rang, Sam was more of a hot mess than he’d been since he’d thrown his drunk ass at Lucifer and hoped for the best. He had planned to just get off in the bathroom, but when he shut the stall door, he realized that this was the same canvas jacket he’d worn in Canada, and that he still had half a bottle of lube and three condoms in his pocket. Plan changed.  
The younger Winchester tugged down his jeans and pants, squeezed enough lube on to his fingers, but not so much that it would drip, braced one arm one the side of the stall and rubbed over his hole. He’d have to deal with lube on his underwear for the rest of the day, but fuck, he could do that fine right? Oh, oh, he leaned into his own touch as he massaged himself; who knew just, like, the outside could feel so good? Sam had considered giving it a go for the past two nights, but his ass had still been tender – it still ached a bit, but it would be ok.

Sam’s head went off to Lucifer, Lucifer’s fingers in him instead of his own, the man’s broad cock inside him so deep, he could feel Lucifer breathe through it… Sam had to hold his breath to keep a small sound of desire down; the science building bathrooms weren’t all that popular, but if some dude walked in to Sam moaning his heart out, well, that’d be weird for both of them. His cock filled from half-hard to full – not the aching, heavy thing it had been on Sunday, but the usual – and Sam just went real gentle on himself as he explored. He had half an hour or more if his calculations were right, so despite how many people came and went, he just eased his fingers into himself until he could fit three, and hoped the slick sound of lube was muffled by dryers and taps and everything. By the time his ass had opened all the way up, Sam’s legs trembled, his whole weight was pressed against the stall wall for better leverage, his eyes were squeezed shut and he had to breathe through his nose to stop his treacherous mouth. Fuck, he tried it a little harder, thrust his fingers into him with sure, confident strokes that attempted to mimic Lucifer’s cock. Lucifer would pin his shoulders to the wall, grab his hips and slide into him, or maybe just pound him so hard that Sam saw stars – oh _fuck_. Sam’s stomach convulsed, he balled his free fist and stopped his fingers before he came there and then. That wasn’t the plan. So with deep, shaky breaths, the soccer captain eased his fingers out, used some tissue to clean up excess lube on his hands and thighs, and hoped his stupid fantasy played out.

 

Lucifer tapped away on his Mac, and glanced at the Exam style guide. He didn’t actually write the end of year exams, so it was up to him to guess what he should edit in the study guide that’d help the kids the most. Usually they had shit on tools, and how certain factors contributed to human brain growth and development. It was times like these where, goddamn, being a teacher could be a little nerve wracking. It was up to him whether he prepared his students well enough, and he didn’t want to let them down. The fun parts of being a biologist, the reason why Lucifer had taken the hobby then the career during and after the cage days, was that he could argue his very Christian older brother into a sobbing, science-induced mess by the end of Thanksgiving while everybody else either panicked or laughed. Fun times.

That, and every other train of thought ploughed of the rails as Sam threw his office door open and yanked it shut as he strode inside.   
“Oh hey – “ Lucifer didn’t even get time to finish his flirtatious greeting, because a horny, wild mess of a 6 ft 4 soccer captain straddled his lap and yanked him into a kiss. Okay then. He could roll with this. Those hot lips demanded on his, pulled at his bottom lip, and the little eager noises Sam made just pushed all his buttons every good way. Lucifer plunged his tongue against Sam’s, pleased when the younger man pushed back with his own heat, licked and slid his tongue along Lucifer’s. With a sharp tug on Sam’s perky little ass, the other man’s long, hard erection pushed against Lucifer’s stomach, and fuck, how did Sam get so hard so fast?  
“I want you, I want you in me, I’m all ready and prepped, _please_ …” Sam gasped into his neck and tried to suck the skin hard, but Lucifer dragged his head back by the hair before he could make a problematic hickey.  
“Really?” A coil of violent lust bolted to Lucifer’s groin at the thought of Sam finger-fucking himself in school so that it would be easy for his teacher to ride him. Sam just dry humped Lucifer’s lap as he panted at the teacher’s roughness. Sam was a conundrum; back to stammers and lack of eye contact in class, and then this confident stallion burst out and jumped on him for sex.  
“Yes, yes, and I was thinking of you every fucking second.” Sam gasped and Lucifer looked down to see the student thrust a condom into his free hand.

This little minx was going to be the fucking end of him, Lucifer thought as his chest sparked and his vision went hot. His cock had gone from limp to swollen against his slacks in just the few moments Sam had been in here, and fuck, the idea of giving it to a student right here on his desk was far hot to resist.

“Go lock the door and draw the blind on it.” Lucifer panted and gave Sam’s glorious ass a little smack. He let go of the soccer captain’s hair and Sam just nodded with lazy eyes and scrambled off him. As soon as he could stand, Lucifer snapped his Mac shut and tossed it on his chair, then just shoved all the paper and shit on to the floor. There wasn’t anything really important in there anyway. He yanked his curtains shut, and by the time he’d turned around, Sam was sprawled on his desk, ass presented to him in those pornographic, tight jeans. But he wanted to see that magnificent cock today, and Sam’s face when he got lost to orgasm.  
“Turn over.” He managed in a rough growl, and it seemed to throw Sam for a moment.  
“What?”   
“On your back.” Lucifer put the condom down for a second, caught Sam’s hip and flipped the slender guy over to see Sam’s confused frown.  
“Does it work like that?” The student panted, and Lucifer couldn’t help a short laugh. He’d forgotten Sam was just starting out, but hey, he was a teacher wasn’t he?

“Oh, it most certainly does.” Lucifer grinned with his most sultry voice, and Sam just tipped his head back and panted, face flushed with desire. As fast as he could manage, Lucifer pulled off Sam’s shoes and socks, so he could get those damn tight jeans all the way off, as Sam undid his own belt.  
“Can you…can you pull my jeans off?” The younger man panted up at him and swallowed, those elegant eyes full of so much want Lucifer could drown in it. “I like it when you, like – “  
“Manhandle you?” Lucifer grinned, and latched his fingers over the lip of Sam’s jeans.  
“Yeah, that.” The student practically moaned, and his legs went all loose, ready for Lucifer to do whatever he liked with him. Oh fuck, that went to his head. Lucifer was, admittedly, a bit of a whore for submission. He supposed that’s why fighting had been so successful for him, because he loved to see them tap out or surrender, and he hated to lose the dominance battle. He liked to teach because that was a position of authority as well – getting in there for all the right reasons, yeah, sue him. But Sam stroked that little spot inside him with incredible dexterity.

“Lift your ass up.” He growled, and as soon as Sam did, he gave three, practised rough tugs and stripped both the jeans and Sam’s boxers off.  
“Oh f – “ Sam smothered the end of his moan with a hand, and Lucifer just drank in the sight laid out in front of him. Toned, tan legs led up to the biggest cock Lucifer had ever seen (in real life, porn notwithstanding) that pooled precome on Sam’s erection-tight lower belly as he watched. A shine of slick teased him toward Sam’s prepared entrance, and Sam spread his legs even further to egg him on.  
“Shirt.” Lucifer commanded, and Sam scrambled it off. He wanted it all now, he wanted Sam naked for him. “You will tell me if you don’t like anything I ask. You will tell me if you don’t like anything I do.”  
He got to work on his own belt, grabbed the condom off the desk, ripped the wrapper open with his teeth and rolled it over his cock with a little grunt of pleasure as Sam panted out ‘yes’ over and over again. Ok. Lucifer personally thought they’d done enough talking. 

He slid one hand up Sam’s thigh to the crook of the knee, leaned over a little, then hooked it over his shoulder.  
“Cross your ankles behind my neck.” Lucifer panted out, voice ragged from lust as little high noises left Sam’s throat. The soccer captain’s wide eyes were fixed on Lucifer’s cock, and the teacher gave that perfect ass an indulgent squeeze of encouragement. “And stay quiet pet, you gotta stay quiet.”  
“Oh _fuck_ , I want you to call me that more.” Sam whined, and tipped his head back on the desk, eyes squeezed shut in a picture of need and desperation.  
“Then be a good boy.” Lucifer growled, and as soon as he felt Sam’s ankles cross, pressed the head of his cock against that pink little entrance. Under his hands, the skin on Sam’s hips flickered, and unh, fuck, even though this pretty ass opened up much easier around him this time _that was tight._

“Mph, mm – “ Sam tossed his head side to side, one hand pressed over his mouth, eyes wild with sensation. He tried to pull Lucifer deeper with his legs, but the teacher gripped Sam’s hips hard, even though his own body flushed with heat. All of a sudden, high, shocked noises pushed out against Sam’s hand, and a coil of hard pleasure shivered Lucifer’s stomach as the gorgeous body before him arched up. Sam tossed his head back with a thud, his eyes rolled, and that swollen, dusky cock spat out streaks of white before Lucifer had a chance to grip the base and stop it. The guy came so hard that on the first two convulsions that semen spattered his strong jaw. That gorgeous cock twitched out another six rounds before Sam’s body finally relaxed back on to the desk, and the skin under Lucifer’s hands trembled. _Holy shit._ Lucifer just watched as he pushed in further, let Sam’s orgasm contract and squeeze around him, let the tip of his sensitive arousal hit Sam’s walls. Ugh, Jesus, that had been the prettiest orgasm he’d ever _seen._

“Unh, keep going, keep going.” Sam panted out as his eyelids flickered. “Feels good, right there.”  
“You already came, pet.” Lucifer managed out, a little curious, but like hell had he been going to stop anyway, unless Sam had told him to. Maybe it was because of his experience or his very wilful nature, but Lucifer hadn’t been a minute man since the age of sixteen, although Sam might challenge that.  
“I don’t know, I don’t know what it is but it feels so fucking good, don’t stop.” _Begging._ A ghosted moan caught Lucifer’s throat, and he just worked, built up a gorgeous rhythm, right there, right fucking there where it shot electric from the head of his shaft to the base.  
“Would you hate me if I told you that I lied the other day, that you actually took my virginity up against that wall?” Sam’s voice was a fuck-blissed moan, and _oh fuck_ , he should have felt bad about that, but it just made him dizzy with the thought. Lucifer’s stomach went tight, and Sam made an odd high noise as Lucifer felt himself thicken even further inside the other man’s body. _Fucking hell._

“You should have told me.” Lucifer panted, and he knew his voice was an embarrassing wreck, but shit, he’d never had a virgin before. “Just the thought now that my cock has been the only one in your pretty little ass is driving me crazy. The thought that you wanted your first time being fucked up against a wall like a little slut – “  
He snapped his hips in a much harder thrust into his rhythm, and Sam’s whole body jerked, even though his cock still lay limp across his thigh crease. The student’s hazel eyes flew wide, and he just smothered the cry before it let the whole floor know they were fucking.  
“Do that again, do that again.” Sam’s whole voice rang of dazed astonishment and Lucifer hissed his pleasure through his teeth as he rolled his hips with a sharp flick at the end. Oh he was gonna break in this little _virgin_ good and proper. Sam was _his_ , fuck, this beautiful body had never been ravaged by anyone else.   
“Ah, ah – “ Lucifer panted, closer and closer to that edge. He jolted his cock up for a shot of bliss again and again, harder, oh he was so ready to come… Fuck, as Sam smothered his wrecked moans and writhed on Lucifer’s pleasure, that was too much. The teacher gritted his teeth so hard his jaw shuddered. His balls tensed, and he shoved himself in to the hilt as bliss surged up his cock and welled heat in the condom around him. As he came, Lucifer gave Sam’s hips a few quick rough tugs to make sure he was as deep as he could get, because, God, he wanted every inch of Sam’s virginity.

Sam convulsed so hard he almost clocked his knee into Lucifer’s cheek. There were dull thuds as the younger man’s body smacked the wood of the desk when he thrashed against it. His heels kicked down against Lucifer’s shoulders, but the teacher couldn’t pay it much attention until the crest of his ecstasy lulled down again.  
“What is this, what’s happening?” Sam groaned as his body still shuddered and jerked up. His sight had glazed off into another dimension, body limp as Lucifer eased out of that still-convulsing tunnel. “I’m still…like, it’s still going.”  
The younger man’s legs collapsed back down with a gentle smack of his thighs on the desk, and Lucifer loved the sight of Sam so fucked out.  
“I think you dry orgasmed. You might have experienced that when you were too young to ejaculate, except this time you came off your prostate alone.” Lucifer smirked at him, a smidge jealous at Sam’s experience, but more super smug that he’d managed to make Sam come twice in a matter of minutes.  
“Unh.” Was Sam’s confused and dazed response. Lucifer took Sam’s momentary break from his senses to blink back to rational thought himself, still braced over the younger man. Then the Ruiner of Fun (reality) kicked in. Lucifer slid the condom off with a little too-sensitive groan and dropped it into the under-the-desk trashcan. He thankfully had some tissues on his desk, but maybe he should stock up on wet-wipes if Lunchtime Surprise-Sex Sam became a regular thing.

“I want to keep doing this.” Sam’s lethargic mumble drew his attention back to the completely naked student on his desk. Not a situation he’d foreseen in his future when he’d signed up for the job, but an unexpected perk. “Not just, like, _this_ this. I, like, wanna date you.”  
Lucifer couldn’t help but snicker as he handed Sam the tissue box. Not the weirdest proposition of a date he’d ever received, but certainly the most visually pleasing.  
“We’ll have to be careful, like we talked about before, but sure.” He grinned as Sam eased himself upright, muscles still on the shiver with pleasure. “I’m free Sundays and most days after school except Thursdays.”  
“What do you do on Thursdays?” Sam carried on, completely unashamed as he cleaned himself up, which Lucifer liked; if you were ashamed of things with any partner, then there was room for misunderstanding, deceit and unhappiness. Honesty and openness were Lucifer’s most treasured traits, although to say he was always honest would be dishonest. Just with the people that mattered.

“I shoot targets at the gun range.” Lucifer offered and grinned like a demon as Sam’s eyebrows flew up.  
“Who am I kidding, why am I even surprised right now.” The soccer captain shook his head then laughed. “Is there anything you _can’t_ do?”  
“I suck at the panpipes?” Lucifer snickered, and Sam tossed his tissues with an expression that said ‘when did you even try panpipes?’. “Now you better get dressed before my Scholarship students come knocking and get full frontal nudity instead of exam tips.”  
“Ugh, fine.” The tanned Adonis got up, but before he could reach his clothes, Lucifer caught him by the ripped-as biceps in a gentle hold.  
“You know, you’re always welcome in my office. Lunchtime, recess, free periods, whenever you like.” He murmured and closed the couple of inches between their lips as he let his hands roam down Sam’s bare body. “Not just for sex, mind – you want to talk, you want help with Biology…lord knows you need it.”  
“Gee, thanks.” Sam laughed, but stole another quick kiss. “I’ll text you?”  
“Sounds good.” Lucifer smirked and let him go to his clothes.

“About texting you and stuff…” Sam trailed off as he eased up his underwear and tight, tight jeans, movements still sluggish from afterglow. “This probably sounds real stupid to you but, I dunno…like, should I text you more? Or less, but then I don’t want you to think I don’t want to talk to you…”  
“No, it’s a good point.” Lucifer hadn’t quite forgotten what it was like to be eager and flustered around someone, and yeah, that shit was annoying. “Just text me when you have something to say; something interesting or fun you want to share with me, plans you want to make, how you’re feeling, dick pics, anything goes. Especially where your dick is concerned.”  
He shrugged as Sam grinned in a salacious kind of way, shirt half over his chest – oh, that kid knew he had an impressive cock. Then again, with a cock like that, how would you _not_ know. “Don’t make conversation because you think you have to though. I mean, we’re probably both gonna be busier as exams come up, and we can’t be too obvious about our relationship either. If you don’t text me for a week, I’ll check and see if you’re alive, but independence is pretty fine by me.”   
“Oh sweet. Sorry, I kinda worry about weird stuff.” Sam rubbed the back of his neck, grin more abashed than before.  
“No, you’re doing the right thing.” Lucifer wandered up to him and ran his hands down that firm torso. Mmm. So firm. “You have worries, issues, you talk about them. I’m not going to judge you or anything.”  
“Ok.” Sam smiled and caught his hands. Aw, fuck this guy was a cutie. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?”  
“Yeah, and I’m on duty tomorrow, so I expect no shirt at lunchtime pet.” Lucifer smirked and leaned up to taste Sam’s lips again. His duty days had been switched around this week because he’d needed the lunchtime on Tuesday to catch up with the relief teacher for his classes and make sure he was on the right page for the rest of the week.  
“Oh my god, you noticed that?” Sam shot him a grin of Extreme Guilt, and Lucifer raised his eyebrows like a question mark. “I usually only do that on Tuesdays, three guesses why.”

It took him a moment, and then he cracked up because _seriously, that_ was the reason? To impress the teacher on duty? Jesus, no wonder this kid came in seconds around Lucifer – he’d been after the D so bad he’d put on a lunchtime striptease for it.  
“Shut _up_.” Sam said through a smile, but was almost overridden by the end of lunch bell.  
“Shit, I have a class now.” Could anyone really blame Lucifer for forgetting when he’d been distracted by the naked, passionate soccer captain climbing all over him like a scene from some bad Mills and Boons novel? Ah well. It was only ninth graders. If they got unruly he’d just shoot ‘em with a staple gun or something. He looked back over the mess of his office, but as he’d said, the papers hadn’t been important. “Ugh, I’ll clean that up later.”  
“Ok. I’ll see you later.” Sam’s hands caught around his shirt lapels, and Lucifer indulged in a good thirty seconds more of tonsil hockey than he really should have. Then Sam picked up his rucksack, unlocked the door and ducked out of the office.

“Mmm.” Lucifer leaned back on his desk (which he should probably take the Pine-O-Clean to) and tipped his head up toward the ceiling. His whole body thrummed, warm and sated, and fuckk, he still had two more classes to teach today. What the hell had he got himself into with this one? Good things, Lucifer, good things. With another indulgent groan, he cracked open a window so his office wouldn’t smell of sex, grabbed the box of marked homework and shit for his ninth graders and hoped he didn’t look too out of it. If Sam had left any hickeys or anything, and the students tried to embarrass him for it, he’d just straight-up tell the 14 year olds he’d got laid. That should traumatize em enough not to ask stupid questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That chapter was distracting to edit lol. But here! Take the relationship tips, take them! *hurls letters at your face* And Lucifer's reaction to being Sam's first time? Classic Lucifer. I would love to hear what you thought of this whole saucy ordeal ;) Also, if any of y’all are being pounded by the apocalypse that’s happening in America and the heatwave in Europe (ironically, with the nickname Lucifer) I hope you’re all doing ok and stay safe! ♥ I also have a third fun Steve/Thor fic [over here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12045651/chapters/27274497), so check that out if you like Marvel! n.n Lastly, thank you all for your amazing comments and kudos! You're all such a wonderful community and your comments make my day and help me keep writing! Stay awesome my buddies (*ฅ́˘ฅ̀*) .｡.:*♡
> 
> On the Reality side of things: If you'd like to support me, please [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a snack!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^ if you do have any spare change to give, I would be very grateful. My excessive writing is probably why I don’t have a proper job, so anything you could help me out with would be amazing!


	10. The Sonfucker 5000

Thursday and Friday went like a dream for Sam. English had taken the turn of a strange, lucid dream, because Sam swore Ruby inched closer and closer to where he sat with Brady, like a wave of incoming Emo Tide, and Sam prayed school ended before it hit. Jess had devolved into a Procedural Cop Show phase and made it her mission, every day, to come up not only with awful one-liners, but a ‘deduction’ to who Sam’s secret crush was. Sam neither admitted nor denied, which he suspected might push her toward watching Sherlock, but at least that’d save him from the puns. Other than that, Dean had once asked if the reason why Sam was so happy was because he’d got laid, and Sam had nearly choked out a lung. He did kinda enjoy the illicit nature of his relationship more than he should have though. Yes, he did take it seriously and cover his tracks because yo, shit might go down in fucking Biblical Proportions on both Sam and Lucifer’s end if things were discovered, but hey, he could still feel damn smug when Dean treated him like a precious, innocent virgin, when in reality he spread like a whore on his teacher’s desk. There was just a twisted kind of fun in that. 

No, he hadn’t done any more extracurricular Fucking Tutorials with his teacher since Wednesday though, because a) even though he’d prepped well, he did need to give his ass a rest if he didn’t want Dean asking about his ‘hamstring’ again, b) he didn’t have the sexual tension of Biology on Thursday, although he’d kept his promise to Lucifer and got his man-tits out at lunch, and c) he kinda wanted to prove that they could sit in the same room as one another and be friends too without taking a dick up the ass every time. So Sam had actually spent Friday recess with Lucifer trying to improve his Biology with reasonable success. They’d only kissed once. Ok, twice. Ok, they’d made out for five minutes at the end there, but that wasn’t the point. Lucifer was easy to talk to, fun, a little bit bad-boy even though he disguised it well and Sam was all a-flutter.

“Sammy! You ready?” Dean’s bang on the door broke through Sam’s fluttering, and he jumped back to the present and Stats homework.   
“Ready for what? I’ve got an hour before you torture me with Dr Sexy!” He yelled back, but double checked the time just in case. No, it was 6 o clock…  
“We got parent-teacher conferences tonight, remember? Your first one’s at 6.15, so hurry up!”   
Oh shit.  
Sam had totally forgotten about that. Mom and Dean and Lucifer and Sam all in the same room. Fuck. He was Going To Die.

“Uhh, coming!” Sam scrambled up, grabbed a jacket that didn’t contain condoms and lube, (because hell no was he even going to _blush_ tonight, let alone let Lucifer plough the back field) and staggered to the door. Ugh, his foot had gone to sleep, which was always weird – like one leg was shorter than the other. He was met by Dean in his brother’s usual smart get-up: one of dad’s old leather jackets, the least oil-stained jeans he had and the least offensive rock-band shirt. Sam thought he might have even showered. Age of miracles.  
“Do I need anything?” Except for an overdose of Gay Panic?  
“Nah, I don’t think so. Just a hope and a prayer that your teachers have all got good things to say.” Dean raised his eyebrows as they thudded down the stairs. “Then again, you’re such a nerd that I doubt we’ll get an interesting story all evening.”  
“Yeah, I remember _somebody_ getting a visit to the principal’s office for being caught in too many janitor closets with girls.” Sam grinned and Dean nodded with a nostalgic smile.  
“Yeah, those were the days, Sammy. You’re letting your wild teenage years go to waste by being a straight-laced nerd.” Dean clapped him on the back in sympathy before he opened the front door, and earned a Samtastic eye roll. But again, deep down a small smug thing sniggered that a) his horny teenage years were so not going to waste, and b) ‘straight’ was no word to describe him, laces or not.

 

Dean was right. For English, Stats and P.E especially there was just smiles and ‘such a good kid’ ‘does his work’ ‘top of the class’ ‘great attitude’ kind of deal. It was nice to see mom beam and Dean swell with pride at such nice things being said about his little brother. Didn’t even complain about missing Dr Sexy. Oh the sacrifices Sam’s family made for him.  
“Your last one’s in the science building…E5 with Mr. Darius.” Mom read over the timetable, with Sam’s report card from this semester in her hand. It sounded weird for Lucifer to be called ‘Mr Darius’. Nobody called him that, except maybe freshmen, because, as Lucifer had told them at the start of the year, he hated the formality of it. Sam had a feeling he might just like everyone calling him Satan though, as that seemed right up Lucifer’s sense of humour alley. “I think this one will be the most helpful, since you haven’t been doing too well in Biology this year.”  
‘Haven’t been doing too well’ was a nice way to put it. C’s by happy accident was the better description.  
“Yeah, I guess I’m not too great at Bio.” Sam swallowed and ran a hand through his long hair. Wow, it was almost at his shoulders. Maybe he _should_ get a trim or something, but he’d have to sneak out the house to do it or Dean would come along and pay the hairdresser to give him a crewcut as a joke. And after having Lucifer’s finger tangled in it to pull him closer or restrain him , hell, Sam would Mortal Kombat style fight any hairdresser that even fucking tried.

By the time they made it up to the room – not the usual lab, but one with normal desks – Sam’s heart was like a goddamn bodhrán in his chest. But he could keep it together, He _had_ to keep it together with eagle-eyed Dean here.   
The set-up was the usual: a room with a line of desks at which the teachers sat, two for each subject. Sam had had Ms Lotomau for Biology last year, which had been utterly fine because she was not hot to the point of distraction (to Sam, a gay man). His grades had been Bs and As at least. True, final year subjects were always harder, but that became exponential when the teacher was a hot god of a man, who probably had a cult of worshippers somewhere in the world knowing Lucifer.

“Mrs Winchester?” Lucifer stood up to offer a hand with the most easy smile in the world, and Sam felt like a moose in headlights. He hadn’t thought about this in his fantasies. They hadn’t included actual family or how life would go on after mind blowing sex. Well, if Lucifer could play it cool, so could he.  
“Yes!” Mom smiled back and took the hand of the man who’d fucked her son. Oh jeez, Sam, stop thinking shit like that. “Mr Darius, Sam’s Biology teacher I take it? We missed the first semester conferences due to some family issues.”  
“Yes, I teach Sam Biology.” That fucking man. There wasn’t even a confident smirk or a cocky wink, but Sam just _knew_ that was a carefully concealed innuendo. “And Lucifer, if you don’t mind. Formalities are so tedious.”  
“Your name is Lucifer?” Dean interrupted with a grin, and saved mom, who looked a little taken aback. “Dude, that’s awesome. Dean, by the way, Sam’s brother.”   
“Good to meet you, Dean.” Lucifer said, cool as a cucumber, and so Dean also got to shake the hand of the man who’d fucked his little brother. Sam literally wanted to send his brain to the naughty corner for being such a shit. “And Sam, nice to see you here too.”  
Sam just nodded, because he was pretty sure his ‘hey’ or ‘hello’ would come out far too flirty or nervous. Lucifer’s eyes had a glint of mischief as they all took a seat, and why, why did Lucifer have to torment him so?

“Now, in your report you said there might be ways to encourage him with his work at home? Going into exams soon, I’d like to help with that.” Mom asked, and Sam wondered how Lucifer felt, having written Sam’s report card at least two weeks before he knew Sam was a gagging for his dick.  
“Well an exam timetable is always a good plan. Biology is one of the first exams, so I suggest priority in that. Reward systems can work too.” Lucifer’s eyes slid to him, and fuck, Sam would sign up for Lucifer’s ‘reward’ system in a second. “Usually techniques like this can be self-managed, but you can step in if needed. Of course, I will available throughout the exam period if he needs…further encouragement.”  
Lucifer finished in a polite kind of way, probably very aware of how Sam’s imagination had flown off to dicks and desks again. The Lucifer In Leather fantasy decided to rear its head from where he’d buried it, and Sam tried to cross his legs in the most subtle way possible.  
“Now, you said that Sam seemed to have trouble paying attention in class.” Mom jotted Lucifer’s tips down on the back of the schedule sheet, and oh jeez, why had she picked that particular problem to highlight? “For all the rest of Sam’s subjects, he seems to have no problem, and his Biology report for last year was fine…”  
Lucifer took the insinuation that he might be a shit teacher rather well. “12th Grade Biology is significantly harder than 11th – ”  
Oh, Sam _swore_ he emphasized the word ‘harder’ and raised sassy eyebrows at the older blonde from beside his mom.  
“ – but it’s possible that something – or someone – else in my class may be the reason for Sam’s distraction?” Lucifer turned to him with equally sassy arched eyebrows, and Sam was totally fucking caught out. Sam had betted and Lucifer had raised. Shit.

“Uhh, w-well I don’t think – “  
“Aw Sammy, you’ve not got your head turned by a hot blonde have you?” Dean leaned forward to grin shit at him, and Sam glared directly at Lucifer, a hot blonde. The teacher was trying oh so hard to conceal his smile, and mom seemed to have noticed.  
“Really?” She turned to him, and seemed to caught between amused and surprised that Sam, Good_Kid.png, might have one ounce of lust in his body. Sam wanted the ground to devour him.  
“No – come on, I’m not – “ Sam tried with a bitchface, but Dean was too smug to notice its powers.  
“You’re losing grade points over a girl?” His big brother cracked up for a solid 30 seconds. “S – whew, sorry, I just thought he was way too nerdy for that.”

Dean grinned over at Lucifer, who’d settled back into his chair with his mischief managed.   
“You are the worst person ever, you know that?” Sam sent his teacher a baleful glare, and mom tapped his arm.  
“ _Sam._ Be nice. He’s right to bring up, um, issues that, er, interfere with your learning.” Mom looked on the verge of giving him The Talk, he was about to die from embarrassment. Although, as far as pranks went, Sam had to give it to Lucifer that this one was pretty good.  
“There is _nothing_ interfering with my learning, mom.” Sam rolled his eyes, but god fucking damn it, the heat in his cheeks was a traitorous bastard.  
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Sam. I’m sure she’s a wonderful girl, but it would be wonderful for you to pass with good grades too.” Mom was trying to make things better, but fucking hell, it was just making it worse, as Dean laughed his ass off on the other side of her. “Thank you, er, Lucifer. I’m sure we can help Sam out a bit better now that we, um, _understand_.”

She shot Lucifer a look that said ‘teenagers, huh?’, which Lucifer gave a sympathetic nod to. Oh why had Sam decided to date this asshole. Apart from, like, the six hundred very plausible reasons.  
“Well, Sam, I hope our discussion helped, and I look forward to seeing you on Monday, unless there are any other questions you have…?” Lucifer trailed off and looked between them, but no, no, Mom and Dean were perfectly happy with the explanation that Sam was just a poor horny teenager who was lost in a world of hormones. Of course, that was completely and utterly true, but why did the world have to expose him like this?

***

Half an hour later, when Lucifer had finally managed to stop bursting out into laughter, his phone dinged.

Sam: Omg I hate u. Not rly, but rly.  
Sam: mom gave me the fucking talk. Dean helped. Im scarred. I nvr want to hear my brother talk about ‘cleaning the pipes’ again.  
Sam: why u do this to me  
Sam: at least I gt free condoms I guess.

Tears. He was in _tears_ by the end of Sam’s messages. The teacher just kicked back on his couch, and took a few deep breaths before even an attempt at reply.

Lucifer: Im crying this is too funny

Sam: ur a dick. 

Lucifer: so harsh. u wound me.

Sam: MOM THINKS I SEXUALLY REPRESSED

Lucifer: u r

Sam: AND DEAN IS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT MY SECRET CRUSH  
Sam: shut upp

Lucifer: Never.  
Lucifer: Learn anything fun in The Talk?

Sam: fuck u

Lucifer: Ur mom told u how to fuck me? Interesting woman.

Sam: NO  
Sam: STOPM IM SCARRED ENOUGH

Lucifer: Lol ur so cute I cud eat up

Sam: plz do  
Sam: a quick death or a bj I dnt mind at this point

Lucifer broke out into another laugh at that one. Oh he loved a man who could play the twisted humour game.

Lucifer: Can I take u out on a date to make it up? quick death and or bj possibly included.

Sam: ooh  
Sam: yea sounds gud

Lucifer: ur so easy

Sam: U wanna date this hot ass or not?

Lucifer: touche  
Lucifer: paintball, sunday?

Sam: I never been to paintball befor so hell yeah

Lucifer: rly?

Sam: haven’t rly got the money I guess

Lucifer: aw. Guess I’ll have to be ur sugar daddy thn

Sam: fuck offf :P  
Sam: I’m actually laughing so hard rn

Aw. Lucifer found himself with a grin and a light sensation in his chest, and not for the first time, he found himself thinking he really just _liked_ Sam. He’d offended a few of his previous boyfriends with his jokes because they’d taken them seriously and had made so much Drama. Sam just laughed and joked back. Lucifer couldn’t help but think that he might have struck gold here, with the breach of professional policy aside. Or maybe it was the ‘Daze Phase’ as he liked to call it, where Hottie would be Perfect for, like a month, and then shit got real from thereon in.

Lucifer: Not kidding tho, I pay.

Sam: O no. Dean and mom actually recored Dr Sexy. Come rescue me.

Lucifer: suffer

Sam: cruel

Lucifer: dnt forget ur bio homework

Sam: u know y I always get such bad grades?

Lucifer: cause ur bad at bio

Sam: Coz I want the D fuck u 

Lucifer threw his head back and laughed again, just as his stomach decided it wanted to roar for its dinner. Jesus, this guy was gonna kill him. 

Lucifer: I’ll give u the D for a B hows that for rewards system

Sam: ffs. Fine.  
Sam: ok g2g to hell now. Later

Lucifer: bye and remembr to delete this

The teacher went and followed his own advice; true, he didn’t have anyone in his apartment that would snoop over his shoulder or anything, but the risk was still there that someone would engage in Staffroom Shenanigans and accidentally find out one of their colleagues was bribing a student with their dick. He had Sam down under a different name, but their conversations didn’t exactly hide the nature of their statuses. Ah well. He hadn’t had this much fun in ages, so que sera, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know parent-teacher interviews probably take place earlier in the term, but I just NEEDED this, so forgive me? (◕‸ ◕ *) Also, that chapter title is The Worst, but it made me laugh so much that I had to stick with it. :) But Lucifer and the Sam have a date for next chapter! Any guesses how that might go? ;) I also hope that everything's still interesting with the mutual pining resolved. Idk, sometimes I worry about these things cause I never want to be boring! :P Anyhoo, I would love to hear what you thought of the chapter (or anything in general!) so leave a comment of kudos if you like. Thank you so much for all your comments and kudos on the previous chapters, it's impossibly amazing to have a following like y'all and I love ya very much (つ≧▽≦)つ⊂(・ヮ・⊂) Stay awesome buddies!! .。･:*:･(✿◕3◕)❤(◕ε◕✿)･:*:･。.
> 
> **If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a snack!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^**


	11. A Skeleton, But Not Exactly In The Closet

“Heya.” Sam grinned at his teacher who appeared to have decided to make Sam’s life a bonerfest today: the man had dark glasses on, just to make him look super sexy daddy-o, a worn camouflage t-shirt with faded paint stains on it, and had one muscular forearm draped over the open frame of his car window. Sam still wanted to lick that forearm. Maybe he just had a thing for forearms. Hey, people got obsessed with ankles and feet and shit, so he wasn’t weird. Well, more weird.  
“Sup loverboy. Hop in.” Lucifer jerked his thumb to the passenger side with a grin, and Sam checked the street then walked around the car. They’d decided to meet up is a less busy part of town just to be on the safe side. To be honest, Sam had been checking over his shoulder every five minutes to make sure Dean wasn’t stealth-crawling a Chevy Impala down the roads after him, and always kept one eye open for people that knew him. It was a bit illicit, a bit fun, and hey, Sam didn’t have long till he graduated and left the dubiousness behind anyway.

“I was half expecting you to show up on a motorbike.” Sam slipped into the older man’s 4WD Hyundai Tuscon (ok, so being raised, in the broadest sense, by a mechanic gave him useless knowledge of cars), chest all a-burble with happiness.  
“What, from my motorcycle bowling story?” Lucifer snickered and the engine purred off idle. Compared to the Impala it was practically silent. Sam always had to do the ridiculous double check whether the engine was actually on with new cars that didn’t try to impersonate dinosaurs in their waking breath. “That wasn’t my motorcycle helmet. My neighbour Steve tossed it to me for the occasion. Not to say I can’t ride one, they’re just expensive to own.”  
Aw. There went Sam’s hot leather motorcycle Lucifer with a rose in his teeth. Wow. You are a sap, Sam.  
“Besides, I have to be ‘respectable’ now. Can’t fit school shit on a motorbike.” Lucifer looked over across at him and must have seen Sam’s motorbike fantasies being buried in an early grave. “Hey, don’t look too disappointed now. Maybe Steve’ll let me borrow it.”  
“You would look super sexy. And super badass.” Ooh, Sam liked the look of that wicked grin.  
“So nerd soccer star Sam is into bad boys, huh? Who’d’ve thunk it.” Lucifer laughed as Sam rolled his eyes, but couldn’t keep a smile off his face because Lucifer was totally and utterly right. “I think your mom should give your sweet, innocent little ass another sit down.”  
“I still hate you for that!” Sam gave him a playful smack on the arm as the grin never left Lucifer’s face. “I never want to hear my mom say the words ‘sexual urges’ again, goddamn it. And I doubt I’ll have an innocent bone left in me by the time you’re finished.”  
“Ooh, talk dirty to me cowboy.” Lucifer flicked his tongue over his perfect top lip, and yep, first semi of the day. It was at that moment that Sam just about had a hernia when he noticed the back seat.

“Dude, is that a skull?” Sam twisted around, and sure enough, amongst the scatter of papers, boxes and a textbook or two was a human skull.  
“Yeah, that’s Juan.” Lucifer said in a very offhand way for having a human skull in his car. “The rest of him’s in the trunk. He’s gonna be our department’s very own human study skeleton.”  
“Is it – he – like, real?” Sam noted that Juan did indeed have inset plastic to represent cartilage, but he’d kinda never seen a real human skeleton before.   
“Yep. Donated to science. So he gets to be ogled and prodded by nervous teenagers for all eternity. What, is having skeletons in the trunk too bad boy for you?” Lucifer shot him a mischievous smirk, and Sam was tempted for a moment to lean over and kiss those wonderful, sexy as fuck lips. Those lips _were_ sex. “I’m gonna say not from those bedroom eyes.”  
Shit.

“I can’t be _that_ obvious!” Sam dragged a hand down his face with a grin, and Lucifer just laughed.  
“You’re about as subtle as your dick, and that’s not subtle.” The teacher’s gaze dropped a little, then flicked back to the road as they took the turn out of town. Okay, Sam may be a hot mess of obviousness and obliviousness, but he had noticed, with a touch of smugness, how Lucifer seemed particularly weak to his sizable dick.   
“And you’re obsessed with big cocks?” Sam grinned mischief right back at him, and it was Lucifer’s turn to look a little guilty.  
“Sue me, big boy.” The older blonde laughed and Sam cracked up as well – it was nice to be Very Gay with someone. He didn’t really have anyone else he could be Very Gay around. Sure, Jess over texts and in hushed voices when they sat together, but they didn’t really do lots together with just each other outside of school, for fear of dating rumours and Jess being subsequently blood-sucked to death by a vampire obsessed Ruby. Now Lucifer had joined the very small club of people he could actually, truly be himself around, and the freedom was a wonderful breath of fresh air.

***

After a few rounds of paintball Sam started to believe his ninja theory wasn’t so crazy after all. Even though the park had shorn most of the trunks of their trees, Lucifer still managed to fucking ninja up one and snipe people like goddamn Bullet Legolas. Despite being new, and not a ninja, Sam had a ton of fun too; the adrenaline was so real, he hardly felt the paintballs when they hit him. They got to crawl through brush, and get down and dirty with nature in a way that Sam hadn’t done in _ages_. It almost felt like he was a little kid again, apart from the fine point of trying to shoot people. At least now he knew why Lucifer could move so quietly; it was super useful if you wanted to creep around the flank and catch the other team off guard. Ooh, it was just so satisfying to catch them on unawares and get a perfect, clear shot, although sometimes he and Lucifer were outnumbered and got taken out too, but all part of the fun.

Lucifer in camo became a problem though. Lucifer in camo giving orders because he was the most pro of the team. Ugh, he was so fucking alpha for a Biology teacher, and Sam was _weak_. He had been tempted, a couple of times, to just yank him into a bush and make sweet love, but the referee probably didn’t need it in his life, and Sam wasn’t sure he was ready for a threesome with bugs yet. So, predictably, by the end of it Sam was hot, covered in mud, sweat and paint and totally and utterly hard for his alpha man. Thank goodness the ride back to Lucifer’s wasn’t long, because even Sam, this month’s winner of the sex-in-public-places award, didn’t try to coerce his teacher into banging him in a full carpark in broad daylight. Besides, shagging in the backseat would probably be disrespectful to Juan, and poor Juan was going to go through enough in death.

“You live pretty close to school.” Sam glanced up at the sleek studio block as they pulled into the garage. Paint and mud kinda pulled at his skin in places, and he’d got a few scrapes, but it was like the sensation after a good game of soccer; satisfaction from working hard, with mud to show for it.  
“Mm. One day I’ll get a house, but this does me perfectly for now.” Lucifer killed the engine, and the first thought that Sam’s brain flew to when the camouflage-clad blonde looked over at him was ‘you can pistol-whip this bitch, commander.’ Why was he like this. Because he was a bitch and wanted to be pistol whipped by a man in uniform? Ok, he didn’t really know what being pistol-whipped would be like. And Lucifer wasn’t really in uniform, but it was _close enough_.

“I like the way you…stare so much.” Lucifer, all of a sudden, sang in a low voice, and before Sam’s soul could leave his body from how sexy that was, Lucifer had closed the distance between them and those salacious lips were on his jaw. The half of Sam still couldn’t believe this was real flooded his head with breathless adrenaline, but his hands seemed to know what they were doing. One of them curled around to card through the hair on Lucifer’s neck, and the other one found the older man’s shoulder in an attempt to pull them closer together. A small sound dropped from Sam’s lips as Lucifer’s teeth found a sweet spot on his neck – shit, he’d never had anyone _bite_ him before (even though it’d kinda been more of a gentle scrape of teeth) apart from Dean once or twice in general childhood brotherly comradery and he didn’t think it could feel like _this_.   
“Do that again, do it again.” Sam panted, pleaded, and Lucifer’s fingers tangled into his hair that he was _never_ going to cut short, pulled his head even further to the side, and this time bit him with enough force to send a burst of pleasure down his spine. Sam just lost it; he pulled Lucifer’s wicked mouth back to his lips, moaned into the deep, frantic mess of tongues, lips, and teeth as he scrambled up onto his knees and tried to climb closer to this man who undid him without mercy. Ugh, Lucifer smelled like earth, grass, paint, and the delicious mix of his musk with that cologne, and Sam wanted to cover himself in the scent.

“My house – “ Lucifer panted, took a break so Sam could suck his tongue, then continued. “- is literally ten seconds away – “  
The teacher nuzzled up with a scratch of scruff to Sam’s ear, and fuck, the soccer captain was already hard with the heat of this.  
“ – and we both need a shower, so why not have one together?” Lucifer huffed in his ear, then a shock of tingles fled down Sam’s neck and shoulder as he used his teeth on the delicate edge. God fucking damn it, Sam was sure he wasn’t supposed to have boners this hard on such a regular basis.  
“You have the best ideas.” Sam sort of moaned out, and it would probably save him from being impaled on the gearstick as well. Not what he wanted up his ass right now.  
“Come on then.” Lucifer whispered, flickered his tongue right into the hollow of Sam’s ear, and an unbidden shudder fled right down the soccer captain’s back at how reactive that was. Had ears always been so sexy? No. 

It took too much willpower to pry himself off Lucifer, then he practically kicked the car door open and jogged up the stairs after that camo-clad booty. He just wanted, wanted, _wanted,_ like he had some sort of sex-fever that got his head into such a spin he couldn’t think of anything else. The stationary target of Lucifer’s ass and back as the teacher flicked through his keys was far too much for Sam – he wrapped his arms around that paint-spattered waist and tried his own lips and teeth on Lucifer’s neck as he pushed his arousal against the other man. Hopefully the neighbours weren’t all that nosey.  
“Sam, I need to get the – ooh fuck…” Lucifer’s voice went from a laugh to a hiss of pleasure, and his neck arched to the side. God, he wanted more friction on his cock, he wanted Lucifer to make more noises like that, but he also wanted to be naked and wet in the shower… The door clicked open, and Lucifer grabbed his wrist in a strong hand, dragged him inside, and before he knew it, Sam was spun around to face the other man and pinned up against the kitchen island.  
“Take your damn shirt off.” That growl made Sam’s groin well with heat as Lucifer rutted in long, rough strokes against Sam’s own arousal. On instinct, Sam caught his teacher’s face and kissed him through the pleasure. Oh God, that was hot. Oh God, this was straight out of one of his fantasies. Not the low-grade ones either, the top tier shit he’d perfected over nights and nights of finding the best goddamn way to get himself off.

Somewhere amidst the hot grind of friction on his cock, Sam managed to pull the old, paint decorated t shirt-off and not smack Lucifer with an elbow, but he didn’t get much time to be coherent. The teacher dipped his head and laved kisses that seared down his bare pec, and oh fuck, he rubbed himself faster on the other man’s groin as those clever teeth grazed his nipple. Yeah it felt good when he touched them by himself, but this was a whole new level of good. _Too_ good.  
“Lucifer, Lucifer – “ He panted out with one hand tight on the bench behind him as the other scrabbled at Lucifer’s shirt. Sam knew he could just thrust a bit faster, a few more times and come against Lucifer’s cock, but he didn’t want this to be over so fast. The older man seemed to recognize the torn desperation in his voice and stopped the blissful torture of his nipple.  
“Come on.” With a swift tug, Lucifer’s shirt was on the floor, and Sam was more than happy to follow the older blonde’s tattooed back through an open plan lounge and into the bathroom. On the way, he sort of just toed off his muddy trainers (which he probably shouldn’t be wearing indoors anyway), stripped off his socks and got to work on his belt, because fuck, he couldn’t wait.

It was the moment that Sam entered the bathroom that he realized he’d never really seen a fully naked, grown man before apart from himself. He hadn’t really wanted to risk watching gay porn or doing compromising image searches just in case, and he wasn’t the kind of guy to ogle dudes in a changing room. Sam had also managed to avoid naked jock parties as well, probably because of his top quality nerd status (and parties weren’t really his scene anyway). But now fuck, there was Lucifer without a goddamn stitch as he turned the water on. Sam did his signature move and just stared for a second as his cock throbbed with heat, and adrenaline made him breathless. God, Lucifer was a man and a half. Broad, and all well-developed muscle that probably came with being a potential ninja, Sam didn’t know. A newish scrape scar led an odd track up Lucifer’s left side, gold hair smattered his chest and a darkening treasure trail ran down to the other man’s proud erection – not as large as Sam’s, but hey, his ass was thankful for that.

“You gonna join me or what?” Lucifer’s voice had gone all low and sultry as his lazy eyes flicked over Sam’s fingers in the middle of undoing his jeans. Before Sam could react, the older man closed the distance between them and rough hands finished what he’d started. Because now Lucifer knew just how much he loved to be manhandled, and fuck it left Sam hot, hard and very aware of how every inch (and he had more inches in some places than others) of his skin was laid bare for Lucifer’s eyes.   
Sam had never been uncomfortable naked, but the sensation of putting himself on display for hungry eyes was new – he supposed that was why he’d been so fucking turned on when he’d stripped on Lucifer’s desk; he’d never been totally naked with anyone like, ever (little kid shenanigans aside). 

Lucifer’s eyes dropped to his thick erection, then the teacher’s hands and eyes trailed up him as they shifted closer. Sam wasn’t sure which one of them moved first, but one second he was under the most intense admiration and then Sam’s lips were on Lucifer’s in a hot, ravenous kiss as their skin shifted all smooth and warm against one another. Fuck, there wasn’t a feeling like it. There was something so intimate and delicious about being so naked, and pressed up against another body that made his skin tingle all over with sensation, something illicit yet _natural_. Lucifer’s silky, firm cock pressed against his as Sam made little hungry noises into his mouth. He was _so_ hungry, for more of Lucifer’s touch, for his lips, his skin, his scent, everything, he wanted _everything_. Sam’s hands scored paths down Lucifer’s back, sides and ass, he barely took a breath as he thrust his tongue as deep as he could into Lucifer’s hot mouth, his hips went on autopilot and ground against the other man’s burning, bare erection while Lucifer’s arm held him tight around the waist.

“Oh fuck.” Sam gasped in air for the first time since this frenzy started as he caught sight of them in the bathroom mirror: Two attractive men pressed up against each other so tight that there was barely any room between their tan and paler skin, eyes glazed with pleasure, and lips red from hard kisses. Sam watched himself groan as Lucifer’s balls rubbed against his own, and he saw a bead of his own precome pool against the teacher’s taught stomach and erection. The sight of Lucifer’s gorgeous lips down his neck couldn’t be real, and Sam stared at himself grind in slow, easy-to-watch thrusts against the other man’s cock, mouth half-open with pleasure. He was half transfixed by the sight of them, and half distracted by all the new sensations. Okay. He got why couples made sex videos now. He could get off so hard from watching that.  
“Mm, we look good, don’t we?” Lucifer, the cruel bastard, stopped their movements with a firm hand on Sam’s hip and admired the pair of them in the mirror. The teacher reached down and squeezed up Sam’s thigh and ass , and fuck, Sam loved the sight of his body in the other man’s hands. “But we still need a shower, pet.”

Lucifer pulled away from him, and Sam couldn’t help but stare at the reflection as the other man’s heavy cock leaned out, head slick with both their precome. To think he’d made the man of his dreams that aroused just went straight to his head, and Lucifer barely got a second under the hot water before Sam caught him by the shoulders and pinned him against the cubicle wall. He’d been about to just grind himself to completion on the older man’s slick, wet body, when a strong hand yanked his head back by the hair, and then Sam found himself with his back to the steamed-up glass instead.  
“Didn’t I promise you something?” Lucifer growled into his neck, and before Sam could remember through the throb of his body what the teacher was talking about, Lucifer’s lips trailed down his chest, then bent to his stomach, then…oh God, Lucifer sank on to his knees. A thrill of ‘I can’t believe this is real’ shot down right to his groin, and Sam watched with stunned eyes as the older blonde’s tongue laved up his length.  
“Oh fuck.” Sam’s voice was a choked gasp, and his leg gave a little shudder already. Hot water smattered the soccer captain’s chest, although he was tall enough not to get a face full of it, and he reached up for a grip on the top edge of the shower in case his legs did decide this was too much. A confident hand eased between his legs, and oh, fuck, what _was_ that? 

Little helpless sounds dropped from Sam’s lips as Lucifer’s fingers massaged into a sweet spot right behind his balls, then smoothed up over the piece of skin between his ass and sack that Sam didn’t even know could feel good.  
“Mmm, fuck I love how vocal you are.” Lucifer hummed against Sam’s desperate cock, which throbbed desire like a heartbeat through his groin. He could barely feel the water over the heat of his own body. Lucifer eased down Sam’s foreskin with his free hand, and a sudden, shocked noise burst out of Sam’s throat as that hot tongue massaged against a fucking ecstatic spot right where the extra skin connected to the head of him. Sam hadn’t even known that spot existed, or that blow jobs could get a man out of his head like this. It could have been newness of somebody else’s hands and tongue on him that had him wild, or maybe Lucifer was just a pro with dicks, but Sam was too distracted to even think how he was so turned on right now. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” The soccer captain clutched one hand into the dark mess of Lucifer’s wet hair, and rolled his hips between that tongue and those fingers. Then those gorgeous lips sank _oh so slowly_ down over the tip of his cock, and his eyes literally flew back in his head at how incredible that felt. Unh, his thighs turned to jelly and his hand on the edge of the shower cubicle gripped it so hard his knuckles went white as Lucifer took him apart with his mouth and fingers.  
“Lucifer, I’m gonna – “ That was all he could manage out before a groan welled up through him from the pleasure in his groin. Lucifer seemed to take that as a sign to _completely end him,_ because all of a sudden the pace on the head of him picked up and the teacher moaned without restraint around it. Fuck, he’d never heard anyone make such a hot sound, God, he’d imagined what Lucifer’s sex moans would sound like, but reality was so much better – that Lucifer was moaning like a whore while Sam fucked his mouth…he couldn’t, he couldn’t hold on. Deep groans dragged up out of him, but it seemed Lucifer didn’t quite think he’d broken his student enough.

Just as Sam was on the brink, heat engulfed his cock to the base, and his sensitive tip hit the back of the other man’s throat as Lucifer deep throated him all the way down. _Oh - !_  
The sensation hit him like a fucking freight train. Sam curled in on himself so hard that only his grip on the shower kept him upright, and then his orgasm shuddered out of him down Lucifer’s throat again and again. He held Lucifer’s head tight against his groin, body wracked with pleasure as the bathroom echoed with his shocked cries. Reality blanked out for a moment, swallowed by the intense white blotches of bliss under his eyelids, and he just shook until all his pumps of seed were spent. 

“Oh my God.” Sam just collapsed with a wet _smat_ on to the floor, colours still blurred in his vision, still seeing stars. A soon as his grip relaxed, Lucifer pulled back with a hoarse fit of coughs. “Oh jeez, sorry…”  
“No it’s – “ The teacher broke off into another cough, voice ragged. “ – ok, I just haven’t done that in a while. Never to anyone your size. Just maybe next time give me room to back out.”  
“Yeah, sorry, ok.” Sam panted, still in a daze, and spat out some water as half his face was in the stream now. “I just…never had a blow job like that.”  
He and Jess had played around with that kind of shit, but they’d soon discovered that lady parts kinda weren’t as hot to Sam as they should have been.  
“You _lost_ it.” Lucifer grinned over at him and wiped water from his face, and Sam noticed the other man’s cock was also sated, beaded with leftover white.  
“You came?” He panted, then sort of slumped to the left into the corner so the shower water missed his face. The whole room swirled with mist, and gawd, Sam didn’t want to move, like, ever. His legs were just dead weights kinda splayed around Lucifer’s knees.  
“Like you said, I’m obsessed with big cocks. It’s a weakness.” Lucifer’s smokin’ bedroom eyes crawled up his limp body, and an amused twitch pulled at his lip. “I had a free hand, and well…Your hot little noises just got me off too well.”

A leftover thrum of bliss spasmed up Sam’s stomach at those words, because Jesus Lucifer knew how to make him feel sexy.  
“Mmm, you gotta teach me how to do that though. I wanna suck you like that.”  
“Well, I am a teacher.” Lucifer flicked him a wink, still very naked and still very wet, and Sam wondered whether he’d break the record for the shortest refractory period ever.  
“Please give me lessons, sir. Very thorough lessons.” Sam’s mind-blown self seemed able to say shit that his normal sensible self would have tossed out the cliché cheese window. Lucifer prowled forward on all fours until Sam had to hitch his bent legs wider to accommodate him.  
“Call me ‘sir’ again, and I’ll teach you a lot more than just how to suck cock.” The older blonde murmured in his ear as water hissed around them, and oh God, the Lucifer in Leather fantasy might not be a fantasy for much longer. So Sam just wrapped his legs around the other man’s hips and lowered his voice to a playful whisper, because hey, stupid ideas seemed to have worked a charm so far.  
“Please, sir. I’ll be _such_ a good student.” He nuzzled the other man’s stubble, and Lucifer caught his lips.  
“You are so perfect, you know that?” The older man murmured through gentle, wet kisses (they _were_ in the shower).  
“Yeah.” Sam grinned back, and Lucifer broke away with a laugh.  
“Come on you conceited asshole, let’s get you and your clothes washed up and then we can have dinner.” The teacher eased up off the ground and offered him a hand, which Sam forced his languorous body to take.

The rest of the evening was just like being at a friend’s place really. Well, apart from the first hour, where they just lounged around naked in Lucifer’s bed and some show. Of course, with Sam being excitable, and Lucifer being unable to keep his hands to himself, Sam did end up watching the last five minutes on his back with Lucifer’s cock buried in his ass, tangled in damp sheets. Watching being a very bad word to describe writhing with his eyes squeezed shut as he cried so loudly that Steve the neighbour probably had to take a cold shower. But, y’know, apart from being fucked into the Ecstasy Dimension by a stallion of a daddy teacher, the _rest_ of the evening was like being at a friend’s place. They made stir-fry (which Sam was sure he was going to live off when he went to college because it was so quick and easy), watched the latest episode of The Unnatural like bros instead of horny hoes and just chatted and talked with the ease of fast friends. It was so nice, and Lucifer even dropped Sam off near his house before his curfew of 10pm like a gentleman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer has a Hyundai bc that's basically the national car of my country lol :P Baby Sam having never seen a skeleton before was super cute to me too idk, and stirfries save lives also fyi ;) But I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Their first date and their first sexy times not in a public place hehe. I'd love to hear what you thought of it all and where you think it's gonna head next or just anything you feel like! I'm always overly happy to answer any comments n.n I also have another Avengers Fic chapter up [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12045651/chapters/27633324), so check it out here if you're into that! c: Thank you so much to everyone who has left kudos and comments already, ya'll make my day! Stay awesome buddies .｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ଘ( ᐛ ) ଓ+..｡*ﾟ+
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a drink!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	12. The Promblems Begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow's my birthday! :D

“Hey Pookie.” Mom called from the couch as Sam tugged off his shoes at the doorway. Just the fact that Sam could hear the TV was on something other than sport indicated Dad wasn’t home; that meant he’d been away the whole weekend somewhere. Where? Who really knew? He didn’t tell them, and they didn’t mind one bit.  
“Hey mom.” Sam grinned at the nickname he’d earned at, like, age eight when he’d been obsessed with Garfield comics. Still, it was cute and mom never called him that in front of his mates or Dean, unless she called Dean her ‘baby pie’ as well. But although Sam acted embarrassed, he really did like it, and sometimes a little endearment like that reminded him that he was just a kid when life got too serious and that mom was there for him. Of course, after the sexcapades of today, it did stab him with the Sword of Guilt just a bit for lying, and maybe rushing into Adult Things a bit fast, but hey, he had to grow up sometime.

“How was paintball with Brady?” Mom got up to pull him into a hug with a kind of hazy smile, and Sam noticed the half-drunk glass of wine on the coffee table. Oh no. Tipsy mom usually meant the photo album and Bon Jovi karaoke if it got too far. On special occasions she even busted out the 70’s dance moves.  
“Good.” Sam grinned and hugged her back, but the Sword of Guilt decided to take another swing at him for making her spend the evening on her own while he rode a teacher’s dick. Damn you, Sword of Guilt. “Where’s Dean?”  
“Oh, he’s spending the night at a friend’s. Bobby’s regular with the beat-up pickup truck.” Mom pulled back from the hug, but kept an arm around his shoulder to guide him back on to the couch with her. There was no Doctor Sexy on Sundays, so he was safe on that front at least.  
“Dean has friends?” Sam grinned shit up at her, and the happy wrinkles on her face pulled into amused reprimand.  
“ _Sam._ First you’re rude to that – “ She broke off into a yawn as they settled back down on to the couch. Sam just curled up next to her and tucked his head into the hollow her fuzzy cardigan made on her shoulder. “ – lovely Biology teacher, and now being cheeky about your brother. He probably does need more friends though.”  
“You think Lucifer’s ‘lovely’?” Sam snorted, and only a second later did he realized he had picked The Wrong Topic.  
“The name’s a bit much, but he’s very handsome.” Mom teased, and Sam was pretty sure part of him went to an early grave. He did _not_ want that kind of threesome. He did not want to think about Mom thinking about Lucifer like that. Then again, what would _mom_ think if she knew the handsome Biology teacher did the sex with her son? Aghh, why did life do this to him. Perhaps it was karma for so ferociously seducing a respectable educator.  
“Oh my god, mom, noo.” Sam groaned as the blonde woman snorted, and then Sweet Genius resumed from the ad break and interrupted Sam’s mother + boyfriend trauma with vicarious chef trauma.

***

Sam had not realized this week was the last week of real school. Which of course, meant one thing. Preparation for exams! Yeah right, he’d be that lucky.  
“Sam!” Jess burst out of God fuck nowhere pretty much as soon as he stepped inside the school gate. In fact, he swore she’d been hiding in a bush just to jump him. “Ruby is going to hunt you down for Prom. Run.”  
Was all the hurried whisper he got before Jess pelted off to class and left him Chilled To The Bone. He’d forgotten about the Prom. For some reason he’d classified it as a ‘Straight Thing’ and thus shunted it to the bottom of the memory priority pile. He was so gay he’d forgotten about it. But like some petty, vengeful deity, Prom had not forgotten about him, the hot soccer captain who graced the school with his shirtlessness every Tuesday. So according to Prom Rules, bachelor boy Sam Winchester was up for grabs to some lucky girl, and Sam was not prepared in the slightest. 

 

“Dude, you haven’t got a prom date?” Leon raised his eyebrows as they jogged around the gym for warm-up in the cold, cold morning gym. Of course, compared to Coach Tran’s Spartan Warrior Regime, a mere jog didn’t even flatten the goosebumps of Jess’s early morning jumpscare, but that just made it worse. There were two types of classes that should never be held in the morning: languages and P.E, and Sam got the Nordic one of the two hells (fucking cold).  
“No, I’ve been caught up with soccer and everything…Have you?” Sam tried with his sinful, teacher-kissing mouth of his.  
“Yeah, Chatelie, y’know that cute French cheerleader? I think she got some friends if you want me to put in a good word.” Leon winked, teeth white against his dark skin in a suggestive grin, but horror flashes of a choreographed cheerleader routine to ask him out to the Prom montaged through Sam’s mind.  
“Nah, I’ll probably try go with someone I know at least.” Sam tried, although Jess was probably the only option here. But he didn’t want her to be killed by Avril Lavigne the Vampire Fucker, so it was a bind on that front. “But we have until after exams, so there’s no big rush.”  
“Hey Sam!” Brady and Sam’s leftback Yasin put on a burst to catch them up as the freshmen they shared the gym with today gawked in exhausted amazement at people who were actually able to speak while running. “How do you feel about Amy? Or Lily?”  
“Who?” Sam wracked his brain to pin faces to names, but only came back with several coquettish Doctor Sexy regulars. He blamed Dean. For everything.  
“Dude, do you even look at girls?” Brady grinned and Sam tried to jog the gay panic away.  
“Yeah, I mean, like, who doesn’t?” Sam gave a breezy laugh, which probably turned out as more of a nervous cackle and made a point to look at Madison doing the squats section of the warm up as they jogged past. That was before he remembered she was an unashamed furry, and so Sam decided to pick up the pace and run off his mistakes.

Second period English was the next Herculean Labour to get through without some kind of Prom-themed death. Sam definitely related to Neo in the Matrix by the end of the lesson, with the amount of paper balls and aeroplanes that flew in his direction from a certain Twihard in the back.  
“Oh, what’s this?” Mrs Masters picked up the latest paper plane addition to her carpet, which had flown way off course by the will of some merciful deity and landed up front. “ ‘Prom. With me.’ A little abrupt, and it’s sweet of you to ask, but an impossible love not to be I’m afraid, my secret admirer.”  
Mrs Masters shot a feigned wistful look around the class as Brady leaned over from beside him.  
“Dude, I think Ruby’s trying to ask you to Prom.” He muttered, and was met with Sam’s devastatingly sassy eyebrow raise.  
“Oh really? I hadn’t noticed Brady, thanks for the eagle eyes there.” Sam shot back, but his best friend turned around to look at patch of darkness wherein Ruby and her Emo Clan dwelt.  
“She’s not bad. I mean, kinda punk, but that’s, like, extra spice, right?” Goddamn it Brady.  
“Dude, you sound just like my brother.” The younger Winchester whispered back as Mrs Masters started up on 12th Night again.  
“Sweet!” His friend looked far too happy about that, and Sam just rolled his eyes so hard, he could have gotten a bowling strike with them.  
“if you like her so much, you take her.”  
“Nah dude, I’ve already got – “  
“A hot cheerleader.” Sam nodded in a resigned kind of way as they both said the same thing. “Was there a title fight with the football team to win the hand of the cheerleaders or something that I missed? I mean, they are _their_ cheerleaders.”  
“We think it’s revenge for some heinous prank Chad and the team pulled on them on tour.” Brady’s humorous murmur covered the sounds of Emo Frustration from the back. “Probably stole their clothes while they were in the shower. And besides, the football team came sixth in the school comps, never mind nationally.”  
“True that.” Sam smirked, but then noticed the time. Unless Brady was willing to be a bro and haul him away from the ‘spicy’ girl that was trying to jump him (which Sam _very much_ doubted) he had about five minutes to gear up for a Usain Bolt sprint out of here.

***

Tuesday was even more of a shitfest, in Sam’s opinion. Brady tried to set him up with Jess’s ‘cute’ Bio nerd friend Amelia, only to have her turn around and proudly announce she was going with Madison. Sam had mixed feelings on that one because although it meant she was out and proud (good for her), it also meant that there was another dedicated furry in his life. At least they’d found each other, he supposed. His own questionable preference of an asshole teacher seemed to find the whole Prom Panic hilarious on both a broad level and Sam’s personal suffering. Oh, Lucifer got plenty of time to laugh it up while Sam hid in his office at lunch, doing actual Biology than facing his stupid matchmaker friends. Even Ruby the Bloodhound hadn’t had her senses heightened enough by horniness to sniff him out in the least likely place Biology-failure soccer-fuck Sam should be.

“You’re staring at me again.” Lucifer didn’t even look away from his screen as Sam sighed and blinked his boredom trance away. He’d sprawled himself and his notes on the floor beside Lucifer’s chair with his back against the desk cupboard, and he would have gotten away with his more-subtle-than-usual staring if Lucifer didn’t have fricken hawk eyes. Ok, Sam _was_ trying. But when questions in the textbook then had sub-questions, and the sub-questions had questions, the whole page seemed to dance in a blur of unending despair before his eyes. Lucifer was far more interesting and less despair-inducing to look at, although he was safe from seduction for now, as Sam’s libido was a bit destroyed by the mental image of a horny Ruby tearing through the school on the hunt for him.

“Are you going to Prom?” Sam pretended to write a letter, but a sad, lone L probably wouldn’t get a tick even if he doodled a loveheart around it.  
“I’m sure I can manage it as staff.” Lucifer grinned that wicked grin and looked down at him as Sam leaned his head against the man’s thigh. “But as your date? I think you’re going to have to brave the ladies on that one. Or just go as a group with any other bachelor boys.”  
“None of my friends _are_ bachelor boys.” Sam rolled his eyes, but despite his outward annoyance, Lucifer’s thigh was warm against his temple and the easy touch was just really nice. “Even Kevin the uber nerd has a date.”  
“Oh yeah, him and Channing. Ms Halio has been trying to set them up in Physics all year.” Lucifer mused and low flying aircraft probably saw Sam’s eyebrows as they flew up.  
“Teachers do that?”  
“I suppose it would be criminal to tell you about the betting pool we have.” Lucifer’s _grin_ was fucking criminal, but Sam managed to cover his heart eyes with an incredulous laugh.  
“Are you being serious or are you shitting me?” Sam eased his textbook closed and hoped Lucifer wouldn’t notice or would let it slide. Four days later, Sam would realize that Lucifer saw all, and never let such important things as Biology revision slide, but right now he was hopeful and naïve.  
“Nope, I had fifty on Madison and Amelia since May.” The teacher tapped something on his Mac with a loin melting smirk, then beckoned Sam with a hand. “C’mere.”

“Hmm-what? Why?” Sam rolled on to his knees with a scrunch of refill paper and squinted a little at the screen.  
“Because you open your mouth a little bit when you’re curious, surprised or turned on, and it always makes me want to kiss you.” Lucifer’s lips were on his in a burst of tingles and heat before Sam even had time to process that heady murmur. The complete 180 in tone had Sam breathless, but before the older man could even get his hand into Sam’s hair, the soccer captain deepened the kiss, chased the hot plateau of Lucifer’s tongue with his own. The teacher made an appreciative little hum, and Sam stroked a splayed hand up the inside of his thigh and back down again – Lucifer wasn’t the only one who could get what he wanted, and Sam wanted Lucifer hard.  
“Did you ever bet on me?” The soccer captain breathed against the other man’s lips before Lucifer snatched another kiss. His leg splayed open further, an answer to the question Sam’s hand asked.  
“No, you never really came up –mm.” A little throaty noise interrupted the sentence as Sam shifted his hand to squeeze the hard ridge of Lucifer’s cock. The soccer captain’s jeans were stretched across his own arousal, all thoughts of Ruby vaporised as the teacher pulled him in for a kiss so rough their teeth clicked. He rubbed his hand a little faster, in love with Lucifer’s hunger, and –  
_Brrrrrrring!_

“Fuck!” Lucifer growled into his cheek, and those fingers clenched his hair with frustration.  
“Saved by the bell from coming in your pants, huh?” Sam pulled back a little with his cheeky shit smile, but Lucifer’s laser-lust stare was an easy counter.  
“With you on your knees and all, I was wondering where else that pretty mouth might go.”  
“Fuck!” Sam agreed, because that was an inspired idea, and he really wanted to see how good he was at blow jobs. His eyes snuck back to where his hand still cupped Lucifer’s cock, as his own lust pounded like a drum in his groin. Maybe…  
“Ohh no pet, I have a class and so do you.” Lucifer leaned down and kissed him again, but gave a little huff of breath as Sam squeezed his teacher’s dick goodbye.  
“I am so not going to be able to concentrate, you know that?” Sam didn’t miss how Lucifer’s pale gaze dropped to the obvious raise in Sam’s jeans, and he could almost hear the internal debate going on in the man’s head.  
“Ditto.” Lucifer sighed as presumably the ‘I could lose my job’ faction won over the ‘gosh I love blow jobs and big dicks’ faction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the missed update! I had a bit of a week where some not so great stuff cropped up, but hopefully I'll be back on track soon enough. Spin the wheel on which characters in the tags turns up next! And if you haven’t seen the horror that is Sweet Genius, [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2jnbaNfkso&t=98s) is a great video on it. Also I hope everything's ok with the story and all...I didn't hear much from y'all on the last chapter, so feel free to let me know if I can do something better? idk. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed this chapter; it was a bit of a filler, but I hope you had a laugh anyway. I'd love to hear what you thought of it! ^.^  
> Thanks a heap for reading and stay awesome ☆⌒d(*^ｰﾟ)b
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [leave me a lil birthday present!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	13. #RelationshipGoals: Dick Pic Edition

Sam got to Stats a little late as usual, but for totally different reasons than a simple change of soccer gear. What he didn’t expect was a slight, blonde 10th grader outside the door with a huge ringbinder clutched in her arms, and a plastic headband that made her look twelve. As soon as she spotted him, she froze up, eyes wide with…fear? Knowing that he, as a 6ft 4 muscle man, could be a little intimidating, Sam slowed down and tried to walk as casually as one could with a Lucifer-induced sequoia in his fucking pants.  
“Sam…” She breathed, eyes like saucers now, but a crazed glint had leaked into them, Sam assumed, from her equally crazed smile.  
“Uhh...” If Sam had a fucking clue what was going on, then maybe he would have something more intelligent to say. All of a sudden, she darted forward and pressed a hand against his man tit.  
“Ohmygod!” She squealed, crazed grin still in place as she stared at her hand like she had the Holy Grail in it or something.  
“You ok lady?” He frowned, unsure whether to remove the chick’s hand from his nipple or not. She just stood and mouth-breathed for a full three seconds then kind of just whispered  
“You’re so firm!” in a shaky, high voice.  
“I’m just gonna…go.” Sam eased back toward the door, and tried not to dwell on the fact that he _may_ have just caught a glimpse of a photo of himself on the front of her ringbinder.  
“I’m Becky!” She cried after him in a high voice that quavered.

“New addition to the Samclub?” Jess snickered as he slumped into the seat. Becky’s hand was pressed against the window as she stared into the classroom, oblivious to the weird looks the rest of the senior Stats class shot her.  
“Why do I always get the weird ones?” He hissed, and crossed his legs to make the dick that even Becky hadn’t been able to wilt more comfortable. What he wouldn’t give to be ass up on Lucifer’s desk right now. Ugh, that so didn’t help. What did help everybody though, was Mr Crowley snapping the curtain shut over Becky’s adoring face.  
“It’s the Universe’s way of telling you that to be gay is your destiny.” Jess murmured back and earned a snort.  
“Can I tell the Universe I’ve already figured it out?” He shook his head with a grin as Mr Crowley started on the graph of the day. Jess zoned in while Sam zoned out. He wondered whether he could find those delicious spots on Lucifer’s cock that would make the man moan and slick up with precome. How much of Lucifer’s cock would fit in his mouth before he had to deep-throat him? How did you even do that? Would Lucifer be a guy who liked attention to is balls?  
So Sam just slipped his phone from his pocket and relieved his boredom and frustration with texts that Lucifer probably wouldn’t read until tonight.

Sam: I wnt to suck ur cock so baf  
Sam: bad  
Sam: I dnt even want u naked  
Sam: I want u in ur hot white shrt and sui pants looking like a sexy CEO or whavtever and I want to crawl btween ur legs and suck u.  
Sam: I wanna hear you moan want u to pull my hair and tell me what u want n I wanna swallow ur come  
Sam: Fuck i want u.

And he was back to burning hot again. Lucky his legs were already crossed, but he could feel damp pool on to his underwear. In a stroke of luck, Sam had remembered to put his phone on silent, because Lucifer seemed to be bored and most likely horny as well.

Lucifer: jeez Sam u cnt do this to me in class  
Lucifer: Fuck

Sam could almost hear the man’s tormented huff, and ok, it made him a little smug.

Lucifer: v tempted to break a lot of rules rn  
Lucifer: Why the fuck of all days does my deprtmnt have a meeting afterschool today

Sam: Ugh, real life sucks

Lucifer: Yep

Sam: About as much as I wnna suck u

Lucifer: g2g my students are being shits

That made Sam grin, but he quickly checked himself in case Mr Crowley or Jess caught him grinning at his crotch. True, Jess might understand that his crotch had aspects to grin about, but both contestants had the potential to take his phone and possibly catch that he wanted to suck the dick of someone who looked like a CEO. Or, depending how far Jess had got into Sherlock, she might put the pieces together to guess Lucifer. So Sam tried to stow all his sexual frustration away for the brief period of alone time he got between 3.30 and 5.30.

***

Lucifer: Hey Sam

Lucifer sprawled on his couch, like he usually did when he got back from work – get in, kick off his shoes, then flop on the couch so hard he’d probably need to buy a new one next year. Usually he’d just watch a mindless cooking show until it made him hungry enough to go and cook, or browse his laptop for anything between bumbling panda videos and German dungeon porn, but today he had a story for his boyfriend.

Sam: wat

Lucifer: I think I destroyed a childs mind today

Sam: im pretty sure no teacher should start a sentence lik that

Lucifer: its better than guess how many kids I sent to the ER todat

Sam: WAT

Lucifer sniggered, but hey, he couldn’t tell Sam all his good stories at once, and the Grade 11 Biology Camp Catastrophe was one for that he needed to tell in person for full effect.

Lucifer: thats another story nyway so I was txting u

Sam: I dnt even want to know yeah nyway

Lucifer: in class  
Lucifer: and this kid was like oooh who r u txting ur girlfriend??  
Lucifer: I was like nah, my boyfriend  
Lucifer: He was like ew wat r you gay  
Lucifer: I was like yep I suck dick its great

Sam: omg Lucifer y

Lucifer: and he was like u cnt be gay ur too, like, manly  
Lucifer: I was like gay is double the man. U got men inside men, thats twice as manly as a man and a chick

Sam: how do u even get away with this

Lucifer: And he just sat there speechless. Like he didn’t have an argument for that.  
Lucifer: thn one of his friends said in a weak voice bt u dnt speak like a gay man  
Lucifer: I was like I dnt speak like a /camp/ man. Camp men can be gay strt bi whatevs. Heapsa Gay men talk like normal. U cnt tell thm apart. There cud be ten gay guys in this class and u wouldnt know, nt to mention the lesbians. We r verywhere.  
Lucifer: I live for the kind of fear I saw on his face.

Sam: ok u got me that was gud

A grin lit up Lucifer’s face, because it was _always_ the best feeling when someone appreciated a story he was proud of.

Lucifer: c this is y I like u

Sam: <3  
Sam: I still gt half an hr before people gt home. If u want to pick up where we left off…

Mmm, this kid never stopped, did he? But Lucifer was relaxed, not bone tired, his apartment was warm, and the image of Sam on his knees on his office carpet swam fresh into his head…the teacher, for once, wished Sam had slacked off his Bio study sooner. Not that he was going to get away with it, but Lucifer would deal with that later.

Lucifer: Hell yeah. So if that bell hadn’t gone...

He twisted himself onto his back while Sam typed, undid his belt and pants, then slid his underwear down to find his still mostly limp cock. Eh, whatever Sam had to say would probably deal with that.

Sam: Id turn ur chair so u faced me. Id keep rubbing ur cock as u sucked my tongue. U know how I get. Demanding. id push my body btwn ur legs and gt ur pants undone. I wouldnt be anblt to do it fast enough

Bingo. Lucifer stroked a lazy hand up his cock as it filled out to the image of Sam between his thighs, pretty hazel eyes fixed on what he so desperately wanted to get his mouth around. A little contented hum of pleasure vibrated the teacher’s throat, then he had an idea. He’d never been much of a dick pic guy, but Sam always seemed to bring out the best in him. With a fluid movement, he rolled upright to sit on the couch like a normal person, then angled the phone camera from what he imagined Sam’s point of view would be on his knees. Lucifer made sure his cock was on display with the foreskin slid down, thick and erect out his fly, then took the snap.

Lucifer: U want this big boy?

There was a pause as Sam either did his signature move and stared or ferociously masturbated.

Sam: Fuck  
Sam: Fuck im so hard

Lucifer just rolled down on to his back with a groan as Sam’s text translated into a moan in his head. He’d just managed to unbutton his shirt when a picture came through on his end. It was Sam’s fucking gorgeous cock from the side, slit beaded with precome as the teenager grasped the base in his hand. It was obvious from Sam’s bare thighs and stomach that the soccer captain was naked. Fuck. Sam was naked and horny and laid out on a bed _wanting_ him. It was all Lucifer could do to not get up and James-Bond-stunt drive to his house as a heavy streak of lust plunged down his chest. Instead he just tipped his head back and stroked the hot throb of his own cock, eyes fixed on the picture.

Lucifer: u know u dnt rly have to say anything else. i cud come to this alone

Sam: Bt I want to. I would lean down n lick u all the way up n moan bc sucking u off like that wud turn me on so uch…n thn id take u real slow into my mouth

Lucifer: Fuck ur mouth wud be so hot

Lucifer didn’t even care how ragged his breaths had gotten, or how moans broke through here and there as he imagined how Sam would try and be slow, but get too eager and Lucifer would have half his cock engulfed in heat before he knew it. 

Lucifer: Id pull your hair and slow u down even more. Make u take ur time, make u explore with that pretty tongue.

Sam: yes fuck pull my hair n id suck ur tip until u wanted more, until u pushed me down

Lucifer: id tell u to go faster. Hollow ur cheeks, use ur the underneath of ur tongue to hit the tip. My hand wud be so tight in ur hair n id be trying to stop myself groan w pleasure.

The image of an obedient Sam between Lucifer’s lazy legs with his mouth full of cock shuddered through the teacher as he stroked himself. Mm, he’d pull Sam’s hair to the right rhythm, he’d watch himself take that virgin mouth…fuck, he hoped he got his tests back soon. He wanted to shoot down Sam’s throat, bareback him too. Lucifer quickened his pace, one leg splayed off the couch, the other hitched up. His hips thrust on instinct into his hand, and the movement was almost too erratic to text with. Thank the scientists for word prediction. One part of him just wanted to finish, oh it was such a temptation to just shift his hand a little faster, massage his fingers into his sweet spots, but he wasn’t done.

Lucifer: as I got closer id tell u to touch yourself, fuck im getting close. Put ur hand around that damn sexy cock and come for me

Sam: Dirty talk me while i suck. Gt e there faster.

Lucifer didn’t think he was at the point he could still text coherent words, so he hit the call button instead. The phone didn’t even get to ring once.  
“Lucifer – “ Sam moaned, breath harsh against the reception piece.  
“I want to throw you on my bed on all fours and fuck you silly, fuck you so hard you’ll feel it for a week.” Lucifer growled as his overexcited cock wet his palm, and he could hear his own heart in his throat from exertion.  
“Yes!” Sam keened, then began to groan in rhythmic pulls that rocketed thrills up Lucifer’s belly.  
“ ‘n I wanna come in you.” He grunted, right on the edge of it now as he tried to hang on to pleasure for a last few scrounged seconds. “I wanna fuck my come into your virgin body and I want you to feel it.”  
Sam’s moans went up a notch, desperate then broken in bliss. It only took a split second mental image of that heavy cock spraying all over the soccer captain’s bare musculature to smash any remnants of Lucifer’s control. His leg spasmed up as he stripped his cock at a frantic pace, then his head tossed back on a tensed spine. Pleasure ripped indulgent groans from Lucifer’s lips as the orgasm convulsed seed all over his stomach to Sam’s blissed-out gasps. Shit Sam made a wreck of him.

“Mm, that was fun.” The younger man panted in his ear after a moment to come down, and Lucifer hummed in agreement. Fun was what the best relationships should be. “Just wond’rin how long you’re gonna keep calling me a virgin for though.”  
Sam laughed, and Lucifer found himself with a lethargic grin too. “For as long as it keeps turning me on as much as it does.”  
“Unh, fair.” Sam’s voice was full of content laughter on the other end, and what a cruelty it was that Lucifer was there right now to see his toothpaste-ad-white grin. “Fuck, I’d better take a shower before Dean gets home and finds me spread eagled on my bed, naked and covered in jizz.”  
“Photo?” Lucifer snickered, but under the laugh was super hopeful.  
“Trade you for one.” Sam’s voice dropped a little into a tease, and _that boy was going to be the end of him._  
“Deal.” He ended the call and laid himself out with a bit more grace – white shirt open, hair sex-tousled (but Sam would appreciate it more if he didn’t fix that), while pools of still-cooling jizz dotted his stomach and a little higher. Finally, he tucked a hand behind his head and took a few snaps, then sent the best one. The reply took a little long, but with how Sam loved to stare…that guy was _very_ visual.

Sam: God ur a dilf. Holy shittt. If I dnt txt back, I died frm looking at this photo too much.

The second message popped up a photo that should have been tacked under the dictionary definition of ‘sin’. Sam’s eyes were sex-lazy, his chestnut hair pillowed his head and neck, and beads of white pearled up to an erect nipple. Those soft lips were parted and framed in a smatter of evening stubble suggested what one hell of a man Sam was going to grow into. Good job Lucifer _wasn’t_ there actually, or he wouldn’t be able to stop kissing him.

Lucifer: and ur a fucking Adonis jesus. Can I save this?

Sam: if I cn save yours. On my laptop mybe?

Lucifer: ye, dnt accidentally upload to facebook tho.

Sam: Lol. I would have to curl up in a hole and die.

Lucifer: I would have to resign and become a porn star. so be careful huh. Do u know that Mr Jefferson calls facebook /the/ facebook?

And so that’s how the evening went. Lucifer eventually managed to peel himself off the couch and do responsible adult things that didn’t involve sending dick pics to students, while he and Sam talked about shit all. But it was fun shit all, so Lucifer couldn’t complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there’s me making up for what we missed out on last chapter if ya know what I mean ;) Another wheel spin! Who’s gonna show up next chapter? **ALSO:[Little_Winged_Angel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Winged_Angel/pseuds/Little_Winged_Angel) has created a has created a really amazing podfic for my fic Inseparable!** She’s put a lot of work into it, and the chapters I’ve listened to are awesome, so head over [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12333645) and check it out! Listening to it has also made me realize that I doubt I will ever be able to top that fic with anything I write, but hey, I’m happy to keep going anyway! :P But anyway, I’d love to hear what you thought of this chapter, and I’m sure Little_Winged_Angel would love to have some feedback on her podcast, so leave some kudos or a comment if you like! And I swear there will be some plot progression in the next chapter of this lol. But thanks a heap for reading and stay awesome my buddies! “:♡.•♬✧⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾*+:•*∴


	14. I Died of Secondhand Embarrassment Writing this RIP Me

The chime of Sam’s alarm lurched him awake, so of course he flailed an arm out of bed, smacked snooze and went straight back to sleep again. His fuzzy brain, a victim of playing games with Kevin online till 3am last night, deciphered a vague mom-murmur, and then an impossible Dean rumble. Dean didn’t get up this early unless Bobby was swamped with work. He’d be faceplanted on his bed, snoring on his anime waifu pillow, Sam didn’t know, and he didn’t want to know. If the younger Winchester’s brain had only gotten another second to click, he wouldn’t have jumped so hard when the song Enter Sandman nearly ghettoblasted him into the headboard.  
“ _Sleep with one eye open_ Sammy!” Dean the Douchebag sang along to his phone and pointed at Sam as he did some hip movements far too graphic for 7am.  
“Mmng.” Was one of Sam’s less literate and witty replies. He blinked the fuzz out of his eyes as the blob that was Dean boogied on over to the curtains. This time Sam got his second of warning, and covered his eyes like a dramatic vampire to stop the sun exploding his retinas.  
“Ng, Dean…”  
“Dean, shut that music off! It’s 7 in the morning!” Dad barked from downstairs, but to Sam’s surprise he was overridden by another voice.  
“Oh no, no, it’s alright. Who’s he gonna wake? The neighbours? I _am_ the neighbours!”   
“Missouri?” Sam managed out as he did a Lion King and sat up, blinking into the sun. Even if dad didn’t make a point to act civil around guests, Sam was pretty sure their whoopass neighbour could go ten rounds with the ex-marine equipped with just a rolling pin and come out on top. 

“Dude.” Dean was finally in focus, and had, in fact, shut off the infernal racket. But big bro seemed to be giving him a horrified stare. A jolt of absolute panic zinged across Sam’s chest, as thoughts streaked through his head of Lucifer: man-sized bite-marks or hickeys, or the possibility that in his fit of drooling last night, he’d printed out Lucifer’s glorious dick pick and cradled it to sleep in his arms. Fuck. He wanted that image, like, tattooed on the inside of his eyes.  
“Dude, like 10 seconds with a buzzer. Or just a bowl and some scissors…” Dean made a hopeful little cutting motion with his fingers, and it took Sam far too long to figure out Dean was talking about his hair.

“Ugh, relax Dean, it’s not gonna bite you.” Sam managed to squeeze the superpowered eyeroll and the baleful glare out around those eight words. He dragged a hand through the tousled mess as his jaw cracked with a leonine yawn.  
“You sure? I mean Medusa was a thing.” Dean shot him A Wary Look, but no such Looks would part Sam from his majestic mane, no matter how wild it got in the morning.  
“Says the dude who idolizes Mullet Rock McGees.” Sam made absolutely sure he had underwear on before he staggered out of bed. To his delight, his ass was fine; Sam spent most days after school at soccer, with friends or studying, so hell, he’d taken the free alone time to experiment in the ass department. He’d come on his own fingers before Lucifer had even texted him – braced up against the shower wall, hitting that pleasure button with proper lube too just took orgasms to a whole new level of awesome. What a joy it was to be gay and unafraid of Butt Things.  
“Hey man, they’re classic.” Dean waved a finger at Sam and backed off toward the door to let him get dressed and do other morning shit in private. Mm. Maybe he’d sneak one little look at sexy suit slut Lucifer before breakfast.

 

“Sam my big boy! Come here!” Missouri was at the foot of the stairs with her arms raised like she’d give Sam the ol’ Dirty Dancing swan lift if he jumped for it. But Sam had many things to live for, and thus did not crowd-surf dive her. Besides, he could smell pancakes. One did not simply risk missing pancakes on account of hospitalization.  
“Hey Missouri.” Sam gave her a bleary smile, and kept the hug as A-Frame as possible without being suspicious because it seemed his dick wasn’t yet immune to Lucifer’s allure.  
“Oh Sam, you feel so happy and content. It’s wonderful!” Missouri had this ‘energy reading’ thing going on (or bullcrap, as Dean called it definitely not to her face, but probably because she regularly diagnosed him with angst), and her house filled with what Dad called ‘unnecessary baubles’. Crystals, dreamcatchers, mystical card decks – Sam didn’t really care how sceptical Dad and Dean were; it had always been kind of magical when he was a kid, and it hadn’t lost all of its sparkle that Growing Up usually dismissed. Besides, she was mom’s best friend, and Sam had a feeling that without her, mom would struggle with life just that bit more, so he could humour her weird ways.  
“Well, I’d better enjoy it while it lasts with exams coming up.” Sam replied with a smile before Dean could leap in with any buxom-blonde-related comments.  
“Oh yes, if you are ever feeling to stressed come round and we can meditate for a bit. Works wonders.” The plump, darker lady ignored Dad’s boorish huff with a returned smile and tucked a lock of his hair behind his ear. “Now come on. I brought you all pancakes, there’s a good lad.”

Missouri did that sometimes – just popped over with a cake, casserole, movie tickets, bowling invites for them all or for a girl’s night out right when it was needed most. If only she could wrangle everyone but him out the house sometime, Sam thought as he joined Dean, mom and Dad at the table. Then he and Lucifer could make use of allll this house space… it was probably more logical to just go to Lucifer’s though. The apartment had enough shower space, floor space, bed space, couch space and kitchen counter space for them to make vigorous use of –   
“Sam…” Dean had his eyebrows raised with a grin, and Sam blinked to find everybody else’s eyes on him too. “You sure orange juice goes on pancakes?”

What the fuck. There wasn’t really a reasonable explanation to excuse why he’d just splashed his pancakes with juice instead of syrup. Sam really wondered whether this happened to Lucifer. Whether the dashing blonde put shaving cream on his toothbrush instead of toothpaste because he was distracted by mental images of Sam’s soccer-sculpted ass.  
“Uh. Sh- damn I guess I’m more tired than I thought.” He placed the jug down, but he hadn’t full-out doused his breakfast. The pancakes would just be ‘citrus infused’ as any pretentious cooking show would say.  
“Oh yeah, tired. With less than a week left of school, Prom comin’ up and a hot chick in Biology class, you’re super tired.” Dean sniggered, then proceeded to shovel pancakes into his mouth like he was being paid for it. Sam just shot him is best look of disapproval, but he couldn’t admit he’d been up shooting online people with Kevin till 3 because Dad might cut the internet again.  
“I have three weeks of exams before Prom, Dean. Bigger fish.” He gave his best sassy eye roll, tried to ignore that even mom looked amused, then helped himself to his own pancakes. But, y’know, like a human, not a boar leaf-trawling for truffles.

“Nice respectable girl, I hope. Like that Jess?” Dad cut in, and Sam was 100% sure that ‘nice, respectable girl’ was pretty much the opposite of Lucifer. Well, he was nice. But dad’s definition of respectable? Uh-uh. Whoo, he felt like a scandalous ho and it tasted almost as good as the pancakes. Missouri had her eyebrows raised as though surprised, and Sam wondered whether her ‘energy readings’ included a gaydar.  
“Oh my god, can you all stop it with the relationship thing.” Sam gave a moody teenage huff and poured himself a drink not directly on his breakfast this time.  
“It’d be nice to see you with a pair of nice ladies.” Dad just continued, and Sam assumed he addressed Dean as well instead of encouraging his youngest son to have a threesome. Threesomes did sound complicated, but if Lucifer had a hot friend… Sam checked himself to make sure he hadn’t scooped a forkful of pancake into his eye or whatever from distraction. “Especially you Dean. I’d like grandchildren before I’m old and grey.”

Sam swore he, mom and Dean had the same _what the fuck_ expression, but lucky there was another party present.  
“Oh John, he’s only twenty two!” Missouri patted their father’s arm. “He’s got his whole life ahead of him. No need to go rushing it now.”  
“Mary and I got married at 25. If you don’t hurry up, you’ll be babysitting well into your fifties.” Dad said it like it was such a chore, and suddenly Sam’s pancakes felt rubbery and tasteless in his mouth.  
“Well I don’t mind babysitting our wonderful boys till I’m 90.” Mom reached over and squeezed Dean’s shoulder with a bit of a forced smile. “Oh would you look at the time! John, you’d better get going, Sam too if you’re walking.”

“Oh, yeah.” Sam pushed his half-finished plate away, and was more than happy to jog upstairs to grab his backpack and gym duffel. Usually he just ate an apple and muesli bar as breakfast on the go, to avoid all that mess. It wasn’t all _that_ bad, but it wasn’t exactly a funfest either. Maybe a funfest with clowns. Oh it was all fun and games until God sent in the clowns. Ugh. Sam shivered off thoughts of squeaky-nosed serial killers and picked up the worn strap of his brown backpack. Both his backpack and gym duffle had lived a life; worn, threadbare here and there, with the logos all but peeled off, but they felt kinda like inanimate friends which was why he’d never bugged mom for new ones. As Sam hefted the strap on his shoulder, a flash of keas and Lucifer’s zoo antics crept a smile back over his face. Ok, that made him feel better.

 

“Alright, well I’ll see you two tonight.”  
Sam made it down the stairs and joined mom at the doorway as she kissed Dad and Dean goodbye, and Sam frowned in confusion as he watched the shorter pair leave to probably go and grunt about cars for ten minutes.  
“Is Dean wearing cologne?” In his morning haze, Sam hadn’t noticed that. His brother’s hair had been better styled as well, rather than the ol’ hand-smooth (sometimes with engine grease) that Dean usually went for.  
“Well it’s about time. I gave it to him at Christmas!” Mom smoothed the upper arm of Sam’s usual plaid overshirt down, and he could almost see the twitch in her eye as she restrained herself from fixing his collar.  
“You ask me, he’s wooin’ someone!” Missouri called from the kitchen as she boxed up leftovers. “And he’s calling _you_ out!”

Sam couldn’t help a snort of disbelief. “Wooing? More like hoping that Jo’s tutor be over so he can score with a beer and cheesy one-liner.”  
Jo was Bobby’s daughter, two years younger than Sam. She was kinda like a little sister to them, despite her mother Ellen falling out with Dad. But that didn’t mean Jo’s tutor Abigail was off-limits to Dean the lady-killing sex machine. Sam reminded himself to never speak those words in his own head again.  
“We’ll see about that young man.” Missouri picked up her purse and threw a strong, cardiganed arm around mom. “Now, Dean’s gonna be a good boy and drop us off to the café. I need one of your stella Cappuccinos Mrs Winchester.”   
“You know there’s always a coffee with your name on it, Missouri.” Mom shot her a warm smile, which Sam mirrored as he held the door open for the two women. One day, he was going to buy Missouri one of those giant supermarket hampers as a thank you for being such a great friend. But today, he settled for a friendly wave to everyone as he set off down the road to kick Brady’s comatosed ass out of bed.

 

Brady’s bad jokes and excited babble as they laughed about last night’s episode of The Unnatural almost made Sam forget he had Prom Problems. Promblems.   
Mistake.  
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, nobody had tried to set him up with any furries in the first period of the day, and his next class was with his dream of a boyfriend. For a moment outside his Biology class, Sam basked in his hope that he’d avoided all prom weirdness. That is until he heard the strum of an acoustic intro to Evanescence’s Bring Me to Life from behind him. There was Punk Princess herself avec Emo Band Guy, both of whom would probably be haunted by this moment until they died. They weren’t alone there. Sam had been known to appreciate a bit of Evanescence when he dove into Dad Angst on the odd occasion it got to him, but sung to him in the middle of a corridor with the words changed to ‘call my name and take me to the Prom’? He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to die from his own embarrassment or second hand embarrassment for Ruby.

“Jess.” He smacked her arm and growled out of the corner of his mouth, because the whole class lined up outside the lab had gone silent to witness this atrocity. “Go to the damn prom with me.”  
“Who’s your mancrush?” She hissed back as Ruby hit the bridge. Ohh no. No. This was _not_ the time.  
“Jess, I will _pay_ you.” He gritted out. They only had one more chorus before Ruby and the entire class expected him to say yes.  
“Oh no. You face your fears Samwise.” She poked him and he sent her a bitchface that had scared off bullies in 9th grade, but she’d been his bestie way too long to cave to that.  
“What the hell do I do?” He could say no and possibly make a girl cry in front of everyone, or he could say yes and possibly experience softcore vore.  
“Tell her some soppy shit, like it wasn’t meant to be or something that appeals to her emo sensibilities!” Jess whispered back, and tried to urge the wall of stubborn 6ft 4 man muscle forward. _Appeal to her emo sensibilities???_   
“Jess – “ Sam immediately snapped back around as Ruby hit the end note, then ran up to him and stood on tiptoe to splay her hands on his chest. Seriously, what was it with girls and squeezing his man tits?

“Say you’ll go to the Prom with me, tall dark and handsome?” She breathed, and Sam was pretty sure he looked like a moose caught in headlights. He just swallowed and tried to grasp for something, anything to say, but all that came up was that a soccer ball head-butt might solve all his problems right now.  
“Uh – “  
“Sam. And miss Delacroix.” The only way Lucifer could have been more of a white knight was if he’d been riding a white horse. “I trust you both know the school’s rules on PDA.”  
“We – I wasn’t – “ Sam stammered out, suddenly somehow afraid that Lucifer might see this and think the worst.  
“Ruby just did like, a whole song to ask Sam to the Prom, Lucifer!” Brady, the worst friend of all time, interjected. Sam swore he saw a flicker of amusement cross his boyfriend’s face, but c’mon, not Lucifer too.  
“Well they don’t need an audience. This is a school, not a soap opera. In.” Lucifer snapped his fingers and pointed at the now-open door, and lord, Sam could drop to his knees and suck the man’s dick right there. “Sam, you have one minute.”

Lucifer ignored several ‘aws’ of disappointment with his signature cold, dead shark eyes, that had always given Sam the good kind of chills, and clicked the door shut behind him. Now that was a true bro. It had also given Sam a moment to think on how to ‘appeal to emo sensibilities.’ He knew exactly what it was like to be obsessed over someone and he did suppose the line between sexy and creepy was whether you found the person attractive. That being said, he really didn’t want to leave Ruby with a glimmer of hope, because she didn’t have a glimmer of hope.  
“Ruby…” Sam’s eyes flicked to the random Emo guitar dude in the background and scowled at him to back off. He didn’t want witnesses to the pure corniness that was about to flow from his mouth. “You’re a creature of darkness. I’m a creature of light. I don’t think we could make each other happy.”  
He concentrated very hard on not hurling, and picked her hands off his bosom to hold them.  
“But there is no darkness without light, Sam!” She shot back in a passionate voice, and for once Sam was glad that he’d seen far too much Doctor Sexy and could pull off a dramatic act.  
“But where they meet is always shadow, Ruby. I’m sorry. Perhaps in another life.” He had no idea what the fuck he was saying right now, but gave a melodramatic sigh to compensate. To his relief Ruby nodded in a sad, emo kinda of way.  
“I suppose we are too far apart. But remember me, Sam. Remember what we could have been.” And with a last wistful glance, she melted away into the corridor. Sam wondered whether he should spend his remaining twenty seconds writing Love You on his eyelids to blink his gratitude at Lucifer like that girl in Indiana Jones. But chances were pretty high that Brady would notice and think weird thoughts. So he braced himself for heckles and ducked back into class.  
“ – burying their dead and carrying water.” Lucifer turned to him as he entered and offered him a worksheet with the most subtle wink known to man. “Sam, perhaps you can tell us why hominids using water vessels was so important.”

Man, Sam would be surprised if he didn’t have lovehearts in his eyes right now. Lucifer hadn’t left a gap for anyone to yell out a curious question, although Jess raised her eyebrows expectantly. He wasn’t sure whether that was to do with Ruby or to do with the assumption he’d fail the Biology question though. But he knew this one, and Lucifer knew he knew.  
“When hominids could carry water with them, it allowed them to travel further – they didn’t have to stay close to rivers all the time. That led to discovery of new areas and more widespread colonies, and the travel maybe even contributed to divergent evolution.” So maybe Sam had loved the way Lucifer had mapped that out with his hands in one of their private sessions. Jess stared at him with her mouth half open in shock, and he shot her a jaunty little shrug. Who’da thunk bangin’ the Bio teacher would have actually got him educated in more ways than one?  
“Textbook answer, Sam. I’m impressed.” Lucifer hummed and ticked him off the roll. 

It took every inch of Sam’s will not to grin like a lovestruck puppy or send back a flirty retort, so he just took a seat beside Sarah – a) his usual seat with Brady had been taken because he’d been late and Brady was a popular ho, b) he wanted to be closer to Lucifer and c) he wasn’t up for brofuck Prom talk. Besides Sarah was cute. Not in the ‘dayum she cute’ way, but in the way she had pigtails and a big sunny smile, and always just had something positive to talk about. She was the one in the ‘Jess friend group’ (vs the ‘Brady friend group’) that always managed to cheer everyone up by just being so darn adorable.   
“Did you escape?” She whispered with her trademark beam that challenged Dean’s early morning curtain opening for brightness. Except it was completely douchebag free.  
“Just.” He breathed back and pulled out his extremely empty Bio book with as little noise as he could manage. “I think I owe Lucifer an apple or something.”  
“Shouldn’t that be the other way round?” Sarah gave a little snicker as she started to copy Lucifer’s powerpoint notes on human sentience down. “Though I could totally sympathize with Eve if Lucifer looked like our Lucifer.”

Sam blinked for a second before he tried to scrape his eyebrows off the ceiling. Ok. Perhaps his googly eyes for Lucifer weren’t so weird.  
“You think he’s hot?” Sam plastered a gossip grin across his face to cover his Ultimate Smugness.   
“Shh! I mean Lara and Suki think so as well, but he’s gay, so there’s no harm in looking!” Sarah shot a glance at the man who’d deepthroated Sam like a masterclass hoe. Sam also took the opportunity to ogle his man’s booty. Lucifer’s interview for his teaching job had probably just been a faxed picture of his muscular, tattooed back, with the words ‘Is This Enough Biology For You?’ scrawled across it in cursive. Sam didn’t know just how close he was, and how their principal still had a very similar photograph lovingly tacked to her corkboard.

“C’mon, you don’t think he’s even a little hot?” Even Sarah’s gossip was pure. Like, she could ask him if he’d ever done a BDSM spitroast basement orgy on cocaine and he’d still think she was adorable.  
But instead of attesting that even the fires of hell would probably look cold next to their smokin’ science-class scenery, Sam just gave a quiet laugh-snort.  
“I’m not playing Hot or Not with our teachers, Sarah.” If he opened the admiration floodgate on Lucifer, he’d probably drown her.   
“Aw. Well Jess told me _you_ had a secret admirer.” Sarah switched pens, and Sam cast a wistful look at her notes, all laid out in different colours, neat and well organized…witchcraft. It really couldn’t be anything else.  
“Oh yeah, Becky.” Sam rolled his eyes and wrote down, like, a singular word. Ironic that it happened to be ‘homo’; that pretty much summed up his entire Biology experience.  
“No. Not Becky.” Sarah looked up from her notes with wide, horrified eyes. “My little sister’s in her class, and she said she saw Becky drawing like a full page of lovehearts with pictures of this guy she’s obsessed…well, you, I – “  
“Oh jeez, I don’t wanna know.” Sam drew his hands across his eyes. That was one thing he was grateful for – that no matter how hard he’d angsted over Lucifer’s sexy man butt, he’d never made a drool diary. Sarah pulled a kind of apologetic face, because honestly, what else could you really do, then returned to her perfect, perfect notes. So Sam, in turn, returned to staring at his perfect, perfect boyfriend in the forsaken hope that Lucifer might not notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John the Jerk strikes again. Missouri is Wonderful. Ruby is Dealt With. The Drama Continues. Another new character cometh next chapter…it’s between Benny and Gabriel! And I promise you, it’s something to look forward to. But thank you all so much for your amazing comments! Last week was really wonderful. I’m so lucky to have readers like y’all! I kinda feel bad - I’m getting seriously behind on my writing schedule because I feel like I barely have enough time to sleep at the moment, so there might be a gap between this fic and the next fic I put up. But hopefully there won’t be a hiatus in this fic! Fingers super crossed! I’m trying me hardest! But thank you super much for all your wonderful support, and I would love to hear what you thought of this chapter! Stay awesome buddies ☆.｡.:*ヾ(＾-＾)ノ　.｡.:*☆
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a drink!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	15. The Airhorn Confetti Douchebag Cometh

One day. One Final Friday. And then wow. No more school. Like, _no_ more school. _Forever._ This would be the last time he and Brady walked in together, the last day Lucifer would teach him, the last day before he had exams, hopefully graduated and then found himself in The Adult World. Sam wasn’t gonna lie. Even with glorious Soccer Possibilities in the future, he was lowkey terrified. Kind of like a sailor on a sinking ship, who knew full well they were sinking, but hoped if he didn’t think about it, it would go away. Procrastinate the fear away. Sam would talk to Dean about his impending What The Fuck Happens Now fear, but Dean would be just about as helpful as a potato with a smiley face on it, and with as much emotional range as well. Mom was super busy (he couldn’t and never did blame her for that) and Dad would probably tell him that Feelings were a side effect of medium-length hair and try to shave him. So before Sam reached Brady’s, he sent a text to Lucifer.

Sam: Heyy, hope you had a good morning! You know it’s the last day of school, like of course, bt I dunno, I’m feeling kinda sad and afraid of wat im gonna do after school ends. Sorry, I feel like a downer saying that, bt u always cheer me up.

He sent it with a sigh, then marched up Brady’s garden path. Brady’s dad always left the door unlocked for Sam in the morning; Brady’s parents were a Real Estate Agent pair, who must be super into each other to spend work and home time together every day. That was an upside of his relationship with Lucifer, he supposed – they’d never get sick of each other, cause they didn’t spend enough damn time together.  
“Do I have to drag you to school in your PJs Bey-Brade?” Sam yelled into the corridor, because Brady’s shoes were bereft of feet at the doorway.  
“It’s the last day! They won’t care if we’re late!” Came a tormented moan from toward the spotless kitchen. Brady’s house was showhome clean – it even had those stylish glass bowls filled with citrus fruit. Sam was 99% sure that nobody ate or used the citrus fruit, as the perfect pile always stayed the same, but he was also pretty sure they were real. Maybe the Tysons donated them to homeless people when the oranges went west, but what a homeless person would do with four limes, Sam had no idea.

“Your teachers might not, but I’ve got Crowley first period.” Sam poked his head around the door to see his bleary friend at the kitchen island with a bowl of Coach-Tran-ordered breakfast mush. “His definition of fun is an extra equation. I swear he means ‘fun to see our suffering’.”  
“Ugh. Fine.” Brady slurped his milk directly from the bowl, still in his underpants with a halfhearted shirt on and one sock. “I’m comin’.”  
“Pants first.” Sam had been very happy to discover that pantless Brady had in no way turned him on when he’d first experienced it. Turns out that contrary to social expectations, he wasn’t aroused by every flash of man-flesh that came his way. Brady was just a friend. That’d be weird.  
“Yes Cp’n.” Brady gave a half-hearted salute with his mouth full, managed it across the kitchen, then promptly tripped up the stairs as Sam laugh-snorted. Oh he was gonna miss this. A ding from his phone distracted him from Brady’s rude gesture.

Lucifer: Yeah, it’s a pretty big milestone, but new opportunities and all that? With your skills and smarts you’ll be snapped up by one field or the other pretty quick. Except Bio. But I’ll let you know if we need anyone to do shirtless digging.

Sam: Gee thanks. Did you mean field as a soccer pun? I tried not to laugh but i did nyway.

Lucifer: U cnt b this cute early in the morning. Crowley cnt see me smile otherwise he wont be as scared of me.

Sam: Crowleys cared of u?

Lucifer: Ever since the dog incident. We sometime have staff drinking sessions. Its usually a mistake.

Sam: Well last time ended up w u poundin me against a wall so no mistake there.

 

“Hey, who’re you texting?” Brady half-slid down the stair banister with all his clothes this time and a slightly more alert expression. Sam hoped his friend’s morning brain didn’t process the look of panic that did a brief yet indecent streak across his face.  
“Uh, Jess. I was gonna meet up with her after school.” Now he said it, that didn’t seem like such a bad idea. His phone dinged again as Brady went for his forlorn shoes.

Lucifer: Pounding? Ha. I’ll show u a pounding one day ;) 

Oh jeez. Heat did a lightning flash through Sam’s body as he tried to _imagine_ that, what Lucifer had gasped at him through the phone the other night. Would being ridden like a rodeo bull be as fun as his brain wanted it to be? Or just, uh... painful? Before he could get his head out of the Wild West-themed gutter, another message popped up.

Lucifer: But on a more srs note, if you do wanna curl up on my couch and have a future crisis im happy to help.

“Hey, you ever thought about picking it back up with Jess again?” Brady raised his eyebrows, and Sam realized he probably had a stupid glowing smile on his face. Maybe that’s what Lucifer meant by ‘too cute’.  
“Tssh, nah dude, she’s a friend, it’d be weird.” Sam shot his friend a humorous, affronted look as they headed out the door.  
“She’s like, seriously hot though. And she’s been turning down guys for the prom…and you don’t have a date for the prom…” Brady edged, and Sam shot him a baleful side-eye as he looked up from typing his reply. Though even Sam hadn’t known Jess had been turning guys down.  
“Maybe she just doesn’t want to go with any of the guys that asked. I can sympathize with her there.” Sam bared his teeth at the lurking cloud of Emo Trauma that threatened to float into the fore of his mind, so he turned back to his phone instead.

Sam: Saturday or Sunday? I havnt been with u for so long that ive startd daydreaming again.

Lucifer: Lol i noticed. thn ur mouth does the thing and i wanna kiss u so bad…Saturday? Saturdays gud.

Sam: and thn I cn stay the night too. Ye, deal.

Lucifer: Careful makin deals w the devil Sam ;)

Sam: ur such a nice devil tho <3

Sam could almost hear Lucifer’s laugh at that one, so with another totally not lovestruck grin, he tucked his phone back into his pocket in case (God forbid) Brady joined the Secret Crush Detective Squad.

 

It seemed everyone had been bitten by the nostalgia bug – people taking way too many photos, polaroids, wistfully saying it was the last time they were going to do a school thing… but Lucifer’s texts had eased Sam’s mind on that front. In Stats he’d found out that Jess had been putting prom-asks on hold because she didn’t want him to go as a loner if his secret crush didn’t work out. She still refused to make them officially signed as Prom Partners because Sam ‘still had a chance’. Sam was beginning to think that he might literally be the death of her; if Jess found out he was hot n’ heavy with the much-coveted Biology teacher (apparently far more coveted than Sam had first supposed in his distracted, pre-relationship dream), then she may just have a life-ending aneurism. So Sam went into Biology determined. He would not stare at Lucifer’s dress-pant-clad Tush of Temptation. He would not be mesmerized by the Lips of Lust. He would not lose himself in Doctor Sexy daydreams of being nailed senseless by his teacher’s Erection of Ecstasy. Boner of Bliss. Dick of Desire. It worried Sam how many of these sprang into his head without effort. Needless to say, he was lost in a very steamy fantasy about rodeo, lassos, and rough Texas Field Sex before Lucifer even set foot in the Bio Lab. The younger Winchester hoped Brady hadn’t been saying anything important, because Sam might have replied with a soft, distracted ‘yehaw’ at one point.

“Look guys, I know this is the last day of school, but I’ll cut you a deal.” Lucifer strode in, and the class simmered down to quiet. Lord, that man was the alpha, and the class knew it. Deep in their primal instincts. Sam checked his book to make sure no wayward drool had defaced his non-existent Bio notes. It was like he couldn’t drink in enough of Lucifer’s handsome face; had The Angel of Sin himself risen to sculpt the man’s lips himself, because those things were wicked. So much for not staring at The Lips, Sam. He’d gone too long without a kiss. He was getting withdrawal symptoms.

“I go through the exam for the first 15 or 20 minutes,” Lucifer continued, very, very much aware that his hot soccer captain was doing an absent-minded lip-lick. Sam had no idea. Sam had moved away from eye level on to The Tush. “and you can do what you like for the rest of the period, so long as you don’t blow anything up.”  
Before the bio nerds up front had finished their hums of agreement, Sam, for better or worse had already opened his mouth.  
“I don’t know how I feel about making a deal with Lucifer.” Sam replied with a grin, then suddenly, so very suddenly realized he may have forgotten that the two of them were in a public place and mild-mannered Sam didn’t heckle teachers. Not in that sassy, even teasing tone. Shit. Jess turned around with her eyebrows Risen to A Better Place, while several other students also experienced unexpected cough-laughs. Lucifer fixed him with that predator stare and even Sam, who’d lain in the man’s tender embrace, wondered if this was when sweet sexy death came for him.  
“C’mon, Sam. Bite the apple. It’s not as painful as you might think.” Lucifer shot him the darkest, most R-rated smile Sam had ever seen, and god, he’d never been so turned on by his life flashing before his eyes. Before Sam could stammer out anything that vaguely resembled words due to the reshuffle of importance in his brain from upstairs to downstairs, the hottest teacher in The Universe already had a Powerpoint up and running.

“Are you trying to get stabbed?” Brady grinned, pretty much a mirror of Jess. Getting stabbed by Lucifer would probably be the most erotic stabbing possible, but Sam luckily did not let his horny fear take the reins of his mouth.  
“It was just, uh, too much of an irresistible pun – joke – y’know, whatever.” Sam tried puppy eyes to cover up his every sin, but a saviour came on the wind as a bang a double airhorn blast that almost sent him and Brady into each other’s’ arms. Leon fell out of the chair he’d been leaning too far back on with a yelp and a thud.

“Luci! I’m home!” A short man with longish brown hair had kicked the Bio Lab door open. He tossed the airhorns away and exploded a rainbow confetti party popper over the sink-desk. “C’mere ya saucy gay angel.”  
There was silence. Like, the dead silence in horror movies that was a precursor to a sudden, very messy death.  
“Gabriel.” Lucifer gave a smile that didn’t touch his eyes and walked over to the shorter man with his arms open for a hug, but before anyone could recover from anything that had just happened, this ‘Gabriel’ was twisted around into a headlock.  
“I am going to _choke_ the boy out of you, Gabriel.” Lucifer growled and smothered the other man’s helpless squawk with his free hand. “Class, take a moment of free time.”  
And then their Biology teacher had dragged a man into the corridor to presumably kill him, and Sam was hard as a rock. He really needed to work on his separate definitions of sexy and scary.

“Do you think that’s the boyfriend Lucifer told us about?” Brady gave a stunned and incredulous laugh, but a hard lump caught in Sam’s throat. He’d been too momentarily stunned to think of that.  
“Yeah, uh, maybe.” He managed out as a slow-mo analysis ran through the CSI: Relationship part of his brain. They seemed pretty comfortable touching. They seemed to have history. Gabriel had called Lucifer by a pet name. Lucifer had ended his last relationship on a rather violent note. That lump in Sam’s throat curdled all the way down to his belly in…what, jealousy? He had no right to be jealous. Lucifer wouldn’t ditch him for an older, more experienced man who knew him better and was super confident…  
“It’s so weird thinking of teachers in relationships.” Brady wrinkled his nose and Sam nodded in dazed, feigned agreement as his petty brain dissolved any lust-soaked thoughts in slight panic. No, no, he was jumping on this way too quickly. Lucifer was a good guy. And his previous boyfriend had been an asshole. Sam wasn’t a stand-in fling. But that thought stuck out, and his stomach twisted in nausea.  
And then Lucifer marched back in, snapped the door closed and locked, then dusted his hands.

“Is he dead?” One of the guys up front called, as the teacher’s pokerface gave nothing away.  
“No, but even if I did kill him he’s a cockroach.” Lucifer bared his teeth in disgust. _Disgust_ , Sam. Or was that a joke? Ugh. “Anyway. The first section of the exam should be short answer questions covering – “  
The titter of the middle rows and Gabriel’s face smooshed up against the outside of the glass on the opposite side of the room to the door interrupted Lucifer’s melodious and very, very well-controlled voice.  
“I know you love me!” Came the muffled cry, but Lucifer barely skipped a beat as he strode over to the blind pulley.  
“ – two of the five subjects we’ve looked at this year.” Lucifer closed the blind on the other man without an inch of emotion on his face, but as much as the rest of the class laughed along…Sam was so torn. “That is evolution, genetics, organic structure, biotechnology and environmental factors.”

Gabriel moved on to the next window, and almost finished his breath-mist drawing of a dick before Lucifer drew the second blind without even paying attention. Unfortunately, all science labs had an entire wall of windows due to Chemicals, Burning Shit and Dissection Blood and Guts. Sam had never thought he’d be so turned on by someone popping lung bubbles, but Lucifer had always done weird, questionable things to him.  
“The second section, I’m guessing will focus on genetics, more specifically, punnet squares.” Lucifer calmly drew the next blind as his…ex-boyfriend?...did the escalator walk down toward the windowsill. Sam just chewed his cheek, an empty smile sort of stuck on his face, and he dropped his eyes to his absent margin scribbles. He knew it was unfair to assume _anything_ but he had no control over the sinking feeling in his stomach. They could talk about it though. Lucifer wouldn’t…see him as a petty kid, would he?  
“Guessing?” Even Jess couldn’t keep the laugh out of her voice as Lucifer pointed at her raised hand. 

In the next window, Gabriel mimicked Lucifer’s stance and waved a mocking finger. Sam wasn’t sure whether he wanted to fight the smaller man for making fun of his boyfriend so publicly or for being potential competition.  
“I don’t write the final exams, but from what past students have told me, it’s likely to be in this formula.” Lucifer drew the last blind and left them in the stark LED lab lights. “Part three will be an essay. Probably something similar to the mock exam question I set you – something on environment relationships, contributing aspects to human evolution… Something broad.”

Lucifer shot the blinds a cold side-eye as a horrific howl that vaguely resembled The Devil Went Down to Georgia came from outside. Ok. Sam was going to find out who Gabriel was. Quickly, so it didn’t eat him up for the rest of the day. But, like, in a non-bitchy, not obviously jealous way. Because Sam had his hot soccer-playing talons in that gorgeous teacher, and no way was he losing him to some…some _airhorn confetti douchebag_. It was _on_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hopefully that gave y'all as much of a laugh as it did me going through and editing it n.n Gabriel's here and we should all be Afraid. And I am so sorry about the cliffhanger, but what else can a self-respecting writer with a history of cliff hanger addiction do with this much Drama? :P But now we can guess what is gonna happen! Is Gabriel The Mysterious Ex? What will Sam do with his jealous green eyes? And Sam still has a prom date to sort out! Find out next week in the next Thrilling Installment!  
> Hehe, lol, all jokes aside, I'd really like to hear what you thought of the chapter, so leave a comment or some kudos if you like. Hope y'all are having a wonderful week and stay awesome buddies! ♬♩♪♩o(ᐖ )oo(ᐛ )o♩♪♩♬
> 
>  
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a snack!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	16. Scandal! At the Cafeteria

“So, what brings you to destroy my respectable education workplace?” Lucifer shot at his annoying but endearing little brother as they waited for their lunch orders from the school’s library café.  
“You’re so cold Luci. It wounds me.” Gabriel gave the most un-wounded, double-chinned smile Lucifer had ever seen and helped himself to a sugar satchel. “But I’m on my way to Vegas baby! Thought I’d stop in your neck of the woods to see how you were doing. When’s the last time we saw each other, my dear darling bro?”  
“That supermarket in Delaware?” Lucifer still had no idea why Gabriel had had what looked like a straight 10 kilos of marshmallows in his trolley that day, but he supposed Gabriel hadn’t asked about the bloodstains.  
“Oh yeah, the melted marshmallow orgy buy-up.” Gabriel gave a wistful sigh and drank the sugar like a shot.  
“Y’know, there was a reason I didn’t ask about that.” Lucifer raised his eyebrows with his teeth bared because a) the less he knew about his brother and sex the better, and b) that sounded like _the most_ sticky, messy, _pink_ , disgusting orgy known to the history of man.  
“Well you’re lookin’ at the creator of the Human S’More.” Gabriel waggled his eyebrows with a very pleased smile, and Lucifer wished, oh he wished there was such a thing as brain bleach.  
“Gabriel, why. No, don’t answer that.” He rubbed his forehead with his fingers for a moment. Even Sam’s ripped model body couldn’t make the idea of a marshmallow orgy appeal more. Thank goodness the waiter interrupted the mental image disaster with Gabriel’s giant chocolate muffin and a bagel for Lucifer. 

They were a weird family, it had to be said. His brother and adopted sister were as righteous, stuck-up Christian as they came, and then him and Gabriel were just dwellers of the Sin Pit. Big brother Michael had always blamed Lucifer for ‘corrupting’ baby brother Gabriel, but oh no, this little diva had been Born This Way by Lady Gaga.  
“This is so _respectable_ for you, Luci!” Gabriel emptied another sugar packet on to his muffin, and Lucifer had no scientific reasoning as to why this human candycane hadn’t succumbed to diabetes yet. “No African Kings with huge African dicks, no clandestine bare-knuckle fighting – unless your school has an underground boxing ring because _that_ would be sweeter than my ass.”  
“I shoot ninth graders with staples sometimes. The thicker ones don’t even feel the pain.” Lucifer shrugged as Gabriel snort-laughed around a mouthful of chocolate. “And I’ve always wanted underlings. I swear some of the tenth graders would be keen to serve.”  
“Adopt some kids and raise em as your slaves.” Gabriel kicked back way too far in his chair, and Lucifer wondered whether he’d do a Leon and cream himself. Then again, Gabriel had the chair-lean down to an art, because it made Michael’s eye twitch when his oak-carved chairs were so much as lounged upon.

“Ugh, kids cost so much money. And they’re so loud and tiring. They’d age my beautiful face by twenty years, and that’s a price I won’t pay even for underlings.” Lucifer deadpanned as Gabriel chortled, and took a bite of his bagel. Mmm. Brie. That took him back to the French cheese monks. He should have never given that striptease, but they’d paid him in _wheels_ of cheese. The French, man. The French.  
“Still the Wicked Queen from Snow White, huh?” Gabriel grinned with chipmunk cheeks. They’d be needing another muffin before the end of this lunch. Oh his little brother was so lucky his patisserie was so popular, or Gabriel would be broke and homeless, and would have to dedicate his sugar-resistant body to scientific research for money.  
“A man can have pride in his assets, Gabriel.” He shot his brother a perky, annoying smile, because _hell_ was Lucifer the handsome one of the family. Some might say Michael, but Lucifer hadn’t made up the kids\aging correlation. Michael looked like a haggard grandpa these days, and it amused Lucifer’s petty ass to no end.  
“Oh yes, and Vegas is going to be telling _legends_ about my assets baby.” Gabriel winked and Lucifer smiled because that hadn’t been as scarring of a sentence as it could have been, and it was actually nice to banter with his little bro once in a while. They called and video called sometimes, but often life, travel and other distractions (e.g: young, vigorous soccer captains) got in the way. But in a way that was better; they always had something to talk about – no awkward small talk.

“Lucifer.”  
Lucifer looked up from Gabriel’s wink to see Sam, who loomed over their table like a very bitchy-looking sycamore. Ooh. Ok. Lucifer could see how Sam might have read this situation (with the winking, the date-like table setup and the endless Gabriel innuendos) a little wrong.  
“Sorry to interrupt your lunch, but it’s the last day, and there were some things I was confused about for the exam…?” Sam burned a glare in Gabriel’s direction and planted himself in the third, empty chair. Implications on Lucifer aside, ooh, possessive Sam was a particular brand of delicious. Lucifer had never been fought for, even less claimed, but here was adorable Sam Winchester looking ready to hurl Gabriel through a window for his hand. As tempting and sexy as that was, it was only his duty to set things straight and not get his little brother defenestrated by a young buck with a territory dispute. Mm, they _so_ needed to make out in the near future, because Lucifer could barely take his eyes off him.

“Ooh, Luci, who’s this fine young thang?” Gabriel slapped on his flirt-face, which Lucifer could recognize even under a thin smearing of chocolate.  
“A student Gabriel, so pull anything and I’ll stick my boot so far up your ass your grandchildren will be chewing leather.” Lucifer shot him the sweetest smile that hopefully gave him school corridor strangulation flashbacks, and turned to his glaring god of a man.  
“Sam. This is my brother Gabriel.” He gave Sam a mild smile, and gestured between his boyfriend and Chocolate Face over there. “Gabriel, this is one of my students in my Biology class. He’s very passionate about the subject.”  
“Wh-oh, your… your brother. Sorry, you just…look so different. Wow.” Sam managed out his fairly smooth save, but couldn’t quite keep the dawning realization that he’d jumped the gun a little off his pretty face. Ugh, Lucifer couldn’t get angry with a face as pretty as that unless it was a precursor to some hot, angry man-on-man action. “Uh, sorry, maybe I should – I didn’t realize it was family matters, so maybe I should – “

Sam started to rise, but Gabriel clapped him on the shoulder with a friendly, but probably sticky hand.  
“Join us, join us, I’m always happy to hear from Lucifer’s favourites!” Gabriel beamed and got a warning glare to not get too hands-on and sticky. Sam looked like a tanned beach model caught in headlights, but sat back down with an apologetic expression. Lucifer just shot him the most smug, asshole smile, because Sam had been a little bit of an asshole to assume Lucifer might cheat on him with someone like _Gabriel._  
“So, is he a good teacher? Does he get out the horsewhip when you’re naughty?” Gabriel winked, and Sam couldn’t have looked less struck dumb if he tried. Lucifer was _so_ glad that he and Sam were intimate, because if this had been an actual nerd student with pure thoughts about their teacher, boy would they be Scarred For Life. Gabriel had that effect on people.  
“Gabriel – “ Lucifer sighed with an even more _I’m going to hang you from a tree by your scrotum_ glare, because his job integrity was technically at risk here. Talking to students like that was creepy, unless you were lowkey dating them.  
“Um, no, no, he’s uh, a really good teacher.” Sam stammered like he always did when he was super turned on. And when Sam got super turned on, he let his soft mouth stay just a little open and pushed back his mane of hair. And when he did that, Lucifer also got super turned on. And Gabriel knew what a super turned on Lucifer looked like from many Wingman Brother Outings. Fuckkk. 

“There you go, Gabriel. Now you’ve witnessed a personal review.” Lucifer winked and had to take a drink to stop himself offering to buy Sam food or give him his own. This was _not_ a date.  
“That, uh, said, being his brother you must have plenty of great stories about him...” Sam shot Gabriel the most innocent smile and it took all of Lucifer’s well-trained gag reflex not to choke on his water. This was about Sam’s parent-teacher conference debacle that had ended in The Talk, wasn’t it? No. No, this was not fair payback. Oh, in the face of hotness, Lucifer had forgotten that Sam could be a devious minx as well. And Gabriel would be at the Olympics if he put his metaphorical enthusiasm for leaping at the opportunity to shit talk Lucifer into the physical realm.  
“Oh, I’m sure Sa – “  
“Oh no, how could I resist such a polite and well-spoken young man.” Gabriel beamed his double-chin, closed-eye beam that meant he was truly and utterly In Heaven (and also unable to see Lucifer’s death-glare). The teacher could feel his dignity being measured up for coffin size.  
“How about one of the three times Lucifer ended up in hospital from none-cage-fighting related injuries?” Gabriel picked the sugar-coated walnut off his muffin with an expression of extreme personal pride.  
“W-wait, I thought the cage fighting thing was a joke. Like the prison thing.” Sam stammered, pretty eyes as wide as fucking _Bambi’s_ as he looked at Lucifer.  
“Prison? Ha! He’s too smart to get time.” Gabriel chuckled, fully settled into the throne of troublemaking his chair had become. Lucifer just shot Sam a slightly strained smile. “Not to mention he can flirt the _pants_ off any accus – “  
“Gabriel, don’t make me go to prison for fratricide.” He sighed with a warning look, but the twitch of the corner of Sam’s mouth was amused, not horrified. Gabriel laughed it off, because he knew Lucifer wasn’t all serious, but didn’t press the topic because he knew Lucifer was a small bit serious.

“Anyway, so we were at this party at one of Michael’s – that’s our douchebag big brother – super serious, super boring friend’s house.” Gabriel gave a dramatic eyeroll, and Lucifer knew the inward cringe he felt had to be visible on his face. Oh, he knew this story. But to be honest, it wasn’t the worst one. “So of course, me’n Luci brought – what was it? Three bottles of tequila, rum, two bottles of whiskey and vodka, all concealed in a fake belly I bought.”  
Sam gave a huff of laughter – even his juicy gossip face was too sexy.  
“Yeah, everyone believed he was a fatty because he works in a patisserie. I mean, I have no idea how he’s not a fatty, the amount he eats.” Lucifer commented, because if Gabriel was gonna take the piss outta him, he was gonna take every opportunity to take the piss outta Gabriel.  
“You know how much _cardio_ I get, big bro.” Gabriel winked as Lucifer groaned and narrowed pained eyes. Sam had a grin of utter, thorough enjoyment. Damn, that guy knew how to get even (in a healthy, non-bedding-theft kind of way), and it just made him even more perfect.

“Yeah, so we…let’s see.” Gabriel looked up into his memory, fingers up to count. “Spiked the punch, the drinks and even the water pitchers, slowly changed the music from Mozart to club bass, and believe me, _that_ curve was hard to complete, turned up the heating and offered to take people’s clothes, and started some _fun_ party games.”  
“Oh yeah, didn’t Michael’s Prude Genes kick in and send him into a coma?” Lucifer grinned at the memory of their prim and proper brother sprawled facefirst up the stairs. Oh, he’d forgotten how fun shenanigans got with Gabriel.  
“That’s right!” Gabriel laughed and clapped as Sam snickered along too.  
“And this ended in hospitalization?” Sam smirked with the most cocky side-eye at Lucifer. Lucifer just raised his eyebrows back in a way that said that hot soccer ass was gonna get spanked if it wasn’t careful. Sam swallowed and looked away, in what pre Sam-sex Lucifer would have penned as fear, but post Sam-sex Lucifer knew to be the ‘boner’ tell.

“Yeah, because Luci’s an attention whore when he’s smashed. If you don’t pay attention to him _he will find a way._ ” A slightly haunted look crossed Gabriel’s face, probably from the fireworks incident. That was a different hospitalization trip though. “So we got around to betting. Just for context, these people are lawyers and priests and respectable business owners, and Lucifer here had em betting their souls away.”  
“I bring out the best in people!” Lucifer shrugged and shot them both innocent eyes. He just had a talent for taking a bunch of snooty assholes and turning them into party animals.  
“Yeah, and then one thing led to another, the party went down the dirty trail – “  
“His fault.” Lucifer pointed at Gabriel, because Gabriel’s natural talent was to find an innuendo in the most innocent of situations. Gabriel denied nothing. He was all too aware.  
“ – and some rich movie producer bet Lucifer, what was it?” Gabriel tapped his lip, determined to help Lucifer contribute to his own humiliation.  
“Ten thousand pounds.” Lucifer was hell no gonna forget how much he’d won off the sucker.  
“That’s right, ten thousand pounds that Lucifer couldn’t deep-throat a 15 inch cucumber.” Gabriel gave the most amused chortle at Sam’s shocked cough and skyward bound eyebrows and Lucifer’s mutinous shark-stare. “Of course, my brother _loves_ a _big challenge_ – “  
“Gabriel.”  
“ – so down the hatch. Pretty much devoured it whole. I swear his jaw unhinged like a python.” Gabriel laughed through the crumbs of his next muffin bite, but Sam’s face was ablaze with the most sassy grin ever. Even Lucifer couldn’t help amusement at his own stupidity. Or bravery. There was a thin line. “But Lucifer likes to swallow, even though humans are meant to chew their food first.”  
“You didn’t.” Sam laughed in disbelief as Lucifer, grudgingly, nodded.  
“Oh he did. Nearly choked to death. Passed out. The whole dramatic shebang.” Gabriel smirked and helped himself to leftover smears of icing on his plate. “You were probably in heaven though, I mean, I don’t think you’ve ever been more the centre of attention.”

The plus side to this Reminisce of Shame was that Sam was laughing so hard his eyes watered.  
“Got ten thousand pounds, a near-death experience and a summer job out of it though.” Lucifer tried to save himself with a bright smile. “I’d say worth it.”  
“And the guests said it was the most fun party they’d had in years. Michael’d probably have said that too if he’d been awake for you almost dying to a cucumber.” Gabriel chortled, and Sam’s shoulders shook in what Lucifer assumed was silent hysterics.  
“Wow, who knew Mr Darius was such a hoe.” Sam managed out when the pair of them had recovered.  
“Oh you don’t know…Darius?” Gabriel frowned for a second at the last name that clearly wasn’t his own then his expression cleared. “Oh yeah, silly me, sometimes I still think my last name is Casanova.”  
Lucifer silently eye-thanked his brother for the save, but it seemed Sam had been distracted by his phone for a moment.  
“Sorry, I should go – this was only meant to be a minute thing. But it was great to meet you Gabriel. And Lucifer I guess I’ll see you….around. For that – what I was gonna ask you.” Sam managed another fairly smooth save, and picked up his bag. “Anyway, that was a hilarious story.”  
“Always happy to shit talk my brother Sambo!” Gabriel waved with the most cheerful expression then called the waiter over for presumably another muffin as Sam jogged away. Oh, it was sad to see him go, but Lucifer was still happy to see him leave in those shape-hugging jeans. 

“Still changing your name to keep mom and dad off your back?”  
“Mm.” Lucifer nodded around the bagel he’d finally gotten around to. “Michael and Riff-raff too. I like my privacy, so don’t go telling them where I am. The passive-aggressive calligraphic letters are too annoying. I think they think I’m still in the UK.”  
“Ugh yeah. I forgot they still do the calligraphy letters to you.” Gabriel was somewhat of a middle-man; the little squish brother who everybody had to forgive, even the Snoot King Michael, so he got away with a lot. Lucifer, not so much, but Lucifer’s ability to simply Not Care had indeed let him get away with a ton.

“But let’s not talk about old boring chit-chat. Sam, huh?” Gabriel waggled his eyebrows and accepted his caramel lava cake without even looking away from Lucifer.  
“What?” Lucifer feigned innocence and took another bite.  
“You gave him the Satan eyes, Luci! No-one can resist the Satan eyes!” Gabriel rolled his own eyes and licked some caramel.  
“I did not.” Well, he couldn’t remember giving Sam what Gabriel had coined as ‘the Satan eyes’, but then again bedroom eyes were probably all he could shoot the handsome hottie.  
“Yeeeeah you did bro. Like with Michael’s perfect cheerleader girlfriend in 12th Grade. One look at the Satan eyes and she was all googoo for Mr Tall, Blonde and Sadistic even though you don’t even like girls.” Gabriel and Lucifer both sank into that fond and petty memory for a moment, then returned back to a time where Lucifer no longer had a pierced nose.

“I am not sadistic, Gabriel.” Maybe a change of subject would get Gabriel off topic enough to forget Sam.  
“You shoot 9th graders with a staple gun.” Gabriel pointed out in a muffin-muffled voice.  
“I miss! Mostly.” Lucifer raised his eyebrows and helped himself to more bagel.  
“Not to mention the 11th Grade Camp disaster.” Jeez, Gabriel would never forget about that one, would he? Then again, Lucifer would never forget either. Oh, it had turned out _so_ well.  
“ _That_ was a long time coming.” He pointed at Gabriel with a fork and his little brother’s eyebrows dipped. Sam crisis potentially averted?  
“What does that even mean?”  
‘I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Lucifer commented sagely and offered his disaster of a brother a napkin. Gabriel should never have stopped using baby bibs.  
“Fine, but don’t tell me that young buck wasn’t hungry for your forbidden fruit.” Gabriel took the napkin with a wink. Shit. Gabriel never let these things drop, did he?  
“I hate your metaphors.” Lucifer had been called Lucifer for his entire life, but Gabriel had never, ever stopped churning out new and ever more creative Lucifer puns.

“C’mon, you know you want to get your Satanic serpent up in his – “  
“Gabriel. Student.” Lucifer didn’t care to find out what Biblical metaphor Gabriel had discovered to replace ‘ass’.  
“Oh no, don’t ‘student’ me Luci. You let me tell him the cucumber story without trying to kill me. Which means he already knows what your throat can do, huh, huh?” Gabriel edged with the cheekiest expression. The expression that meant he would do anything and everything in his conniving power to prove himself right. And that sometimes ended up in explosions. Goddamn it.  
“Gabriel…” Lucifer glanced around them to make sure the other diners were busy. “You cannot tell _anyone_.”  
“Whoo – “ Gabriel’s whoop of delight was cut short by a very quick, medium-light strength throat tap. Not enough to maim or kill, but just enough to teach the little shit a lesson.  
“I mean it Gabriel.” Lucifer glared at his choking brother. “He’s _perfect_.”  
“Oh my god, you’re bangin’ a student.” Gabriel wheezed out in a hoarse, but passably quiet voice from the tabletop where he’d collapsed like a dramatic douchebag. “You scandalous Satanic man. Does he call you sir?”  
“Gabriel, you know my death threats are usually empty, but – “  
“Fine, fine, take the fun out of everything.” Gabriel sat up with a melodramatic sigh and an eye roll. “But of course you’d end turning the slog and toil of education into a classy porno. You’re gorgeous.”  
“Nobody likes a kiss-ass, Gabe.” Lucifer shot his brother a grudgingly amused smile as Gabriel downed some water with a sputter. C’mon, he hadn’t even poked his throat that hard.  
“Except maybe Sam. With an ass like that I bet you wanna _devour_ it.” Gabriel did his signature eyebrow waggle, and Lucifer couldn’t help a snicker of agreement. Nobody could deny that ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The secret is out! To Gabriel at least :P Hope you enjoyed! This is totally one of my fav chapters – I love writing these idiot brothers so much :D My faith in humanity is very lacking right now and on a completely (totally!) unrelated note, my knuckles are quite bruised, but you guys really brought it back for me. Reading through your comments made me feel so much better and happier, and I feel so lucky to have all of you as readers! Honestly ♥ (つ≧▽≦)つ⊂(・ヮ・⊂) I’d love to hear what you thought about Sam’s turnabout from jealousy and Gabriel and Lucifer’s interactions or anything else that made you laugh or something n.n Your comments always make my day/week. As something extra special for y'all bein' amazing, I have another Avengers fic up [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12654141) if you're into that sort of thing c: Stay awesome my buddies! ♥（｡>‿‿<｡ ）♥  
> Also: My laptop is on its last legs I think – like it’s been crashing several times a day, so if I’m ever gone for a strangely long amount of time, it means it has died and I’m trying to get a new one. ಥ_ಥ
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [help me with the laptop fund!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	17. Becky's Bachelor Boy Blunder

“Sorry I’m late guys, I had to…sort some stuff.”  
Stuff being ‘creepily stalking his boyfriend teacher to make sure he wasn’t cheating with their class intruder’ kind of stuff. The norm. He did feel kinda bad about that but it’d turned out alright. He’d text Lucifer later. 

Sam eased himself down between Kevin and Sarah because his soccer buds had decided to get to know their cheerleader prom dates a little better over the lunchtimes, and there was only so much heterosexual bullshit Sam could put up with. Oh how he yearned for the simple days of mutual suffering with the boys as they were whipped into shape by Coach Tran.  
“We were all going to take pictures! Since you hang out with Brady at recess, we thought we’d wait till lunch.” Sarah beamed that adorable smile. “Jess left the super special photography camera in her locker though, so she just went to grab it.”  
“Yeah, I can’t believe it’s almost over.” Kevin helped himself to an apple and beside him, Channing nodded. She was a recent addition to their group, and it was kinda sad she’d joined them so late. Besides, she and Kevin were a cute couple. Not loud and obsessed with propositioning 24/7 like some lovable sport fucks he knew. “I guess it’s just another start though – I’ve applied for a couple of Universities, with a few more to go. With my grades, I have to get in, right? I _have_ to.”  
“Aw, Kev, you’ve got nothing to worry about!” Sarah smiled, although she’d already been accepted by some Arts College because her father sponsored it. Man, it seemed like everyone had A Plan. Sam had A Hope and no backup. But before Winchester Angstᵀᴹ could truly get a hold, his thought process was interrupted by a flying ball of blonde hair, a ringbinder and what sounded like a hyperventilation episode. 

“Sam!” Becky’s flushed, lovestruck face gave him a jumpscare as she pretty much rockstar-slid between his outstretched legs. “I know you’ve been holding off for me Sam, I know you turned down them all for me, but you don’t have to be shy any longer!”  
“Um – “  
She put a hand that trembled onto his wide-eyed, shock-frozen face. “I’ll go to the Prom with you Sam! Of course I will! Our hearts will beat as one, my love!”

Time seemed to grate to a halt as four Who Wants To Be A Millionaire options appeared – with the appropriate music – in his head. a) shot-put Becky into the sky and watch the twinkle. b) deny her and make her burst into very loud tears. c) pray for Convenient Lucifer and d) say nothing and possibly have that taken as a yes. He wished he could phone a friend. Fortunately for Sam, he didn’t have to, because they were right there.  
“Becky, Sam’s going with me.” Sarah said it as nicely and gently as possible, but that didn’t stop both Sam and Becky looking at her in wide-eyed shock.  
“What!?!” Becky just about screamed, but that thankfully covered Sam’s smaller, quieter ‘what’. “How could you do this to me Sam? How could you do this to _us?_ It was meant to be!”  
She tripped to her feet and ran away, sprinkling everyone with tears as she went. Yikes.  
“Yes! I got it all on recording!” Charlie whooped and broke the stunned silence.

“Sorry Sam, I just – you looked super uncomfortable and it’s _Becky_ and I just wanted to help, and – “ Sarah struggled, but Sam cut her off. For saving him from Becky he was totally cool with being her prom date.  
“No, it’s ok Sarah. It’ll be cool to go with you.” He found it sad that nobody had asked Sarah yet. She was an adorable squish who deserved to be appreciated.  
“Oh, that’s…great.” Sarah beamed, then her expression seemed to drop a little as her eyes flicked to behind him. Had Becky returned with a baseball bat? Then two fingers jabbed him in the side, and he jumped with a yelp.  
“And there’s your sex noise.” Jess snickered, then took in their faces: Sarah, guilty as hell. Sam still Becky-shellshocked. Kevin and Channing seemed to have realized that they may soon be witnesses to a messy, friendship-destroying love triangle, and Charlie had a smile of glee as wailing came from her phone. “What did I miss?”  
“I think Kevin and I might – “  
“Stay.” Charlie jabbed a finger at them and Kevin, ever the pushover, eased back down with The Most reluctance. “You missed the Becky show Jess-Jess. And Sarah asking Sam to the prom. Bachelor Sam’s finally off the menu.”  
Jess’s eyebrow raise seemed to be the longest one in history, and Sam could just see the neon letters ‘But You’re Gay’ flashing behind her eyes.  
“Sam, can I talk to you for a minute?” Jess narrowed her eyes, and he got up with a sigh. How had his life been filled with so much drama in so little time? Jess just dragged him over to an empty patch of grass.

“Your secret crush was _Sarah?”_ Jess burst out, and Sam almost laughed. Seriously?  
“No! She saved me from Becky by asking me and she doesn’t have a date like everyone else. You have heaps of guys waiting for a yes!” Sam crossed his arms and glared just a little. “I thought it’d be sad if she had to go alone.”  
“What if she likes you and you’re leading her on?” Jess glared just a little back and mirrored his arms. Two buddies glaring at each other with crossed arms. Maybe the handslap fight would start soon. “Or she might _start_ liking you. Leading her on is unfair!”  
“Then maybe I should just tell her I like dudes. I mean you ‘n me were hanging out after school anyway. We could invite her?” Sam offered and glanced back at the others. Sarah looked pretty upset and that’s the opposite of what he wanted. And she seemed like someone who would carry a secret to her grave.  
“That’s actually a good idea.” Jess looked affronted that she couldn’t argue even though she probably wanted to. “But what happened to your soccer team man-crush?”  
“It’s complicated.” Sam sighed. “My family’s complicated, the closet is complicated and I just want things to be simple. I just wanna hang out with you guys and have _fun_ at the prom, not be all worried. Besides, people have been asking about you and me getting back together, and this would shut them up too.”

“Fine, ughhh.” Jess threw back her head with a huffy eye-roll. “But do I get another clue about your dude? You can’t just leave me hanging on this mystery for the rest of my life.”  
“He’ll be at the prom?” Sam offered with a smarmy little smile and Jess sent him her own bitch-face.  
“Everyone’s gonna be at the prom, asshole!” She began to run at him, but Sam gave a laugh and took off like the soccer gazelle he was. “Damn you and your freakishly long legs!”  
She waved a fist at him, but Sam was already on the home run back to their friend circle.  
“Wh-is everything ok?” Sarah’s wide, confused eyes looked between Jess and Sam’s laughter.  
“Yeah, yeah. You wanna hang with me ‘n Jess after school? She wants to give you the ‘treat me right’ speech.” Sam sat down with a grin as Jess jogged up behind him.  
“Kick his perky little ass more like.” She messed a hand in his hair and sat down by Charlie. “Now, show me that video.”

***

Sam: Sorry about today. I feel really bad for thinking u’d cheat on me.

Lucifer: Not every guy is an ex of mine. But this is all learning, and that apology was more mature than ones Ive had from guys my age so apology definitely accepted. :) 

Sam sighed in relief as he waited by the school gate for Jess and Sarah. He’d had Mrs Masters’ English last today, which neither of them were in, so he had a few minutes alone to get that weight off his chest to Lucifer.

Sam: Thank you <3 Atho gaberial does look like a dude who u would chuck a motorbike helmet at.

Lucifer: Yes. That is very fair lol.  
Lucifer: thor I don’t think itd be possible to b unfaithful to a handsome prince like u.

Sam: sap. Tho if im the prince r u a princess?

Lucifer: if u like, bt I was thinking dragon ;)

Sam: that wud actually make a prty awesome story.

Lucifer: We should rp it sometime lol.

Sam: as long as ur, like, human. I dnt think I could do dragon on human action.

Lucifer: fair. I still cnt get the donkey on dragon action Shrek 2 implied out of my head.

Sam: oh god whyd u remind me of that.

Lucifer: bc I needed a partner in suffering. Nywy Gabe’s takin me to play blackjack tonight for practise so I might not b on my phone for a while.

Sam: That’s ok, im hangin w Jess n Sarah, oh yeah, sarah’s my prom date now!

Lucifer: aw that’s sweet. She’s always so nice. Draws me things at the end of her tests. Gets good marks. Maybe u cn get tips.

Sam: any opportunity huh? :P im getting better!

Lucifer: yea, thou ur exams next Wed. U done any study?

Sam: oh damn look theres Jess I g2g have fun w gabe

Lucifer: You little shit. <3

Sam: Who’s taller? Hehe <3

Lucifer: You win this round…

Sam looked up as the two girls approached through the rest of the after school crowd that had amassed by the gate.  
“Heya!” Jess waved. “Hey, Charlie and Brady and Kevin and some others wanna hang at Denny’s to have an end of school celebration. I couldn’t really say no…”  
“That’s ok, we can walk and talk.” Sam smiled and retrieved his phone back from his pocket to text Dean that he’d be late home.  
“So, are you two gonna match prom outfits?” Jess suggested across Sam’s chest and texting hands to Sarah.  
“Look…I’m not messing things up with you two am I?” Sarah sighed and fidgeted with a loose pigtail. “I mean, everyone thought that you two would…”  
“Jess is my best friend. Totally a friend, and also…” Sam checked around for people, but the side road en-route to Denny’s wasn’t all that popular. There was just an old dude and his dog way behind them. “You have to promise you won’t tell anyone what I’m gonna say, ok?”

A burn of anxious fire reared up in his chest. It was always so hard to get the words out after being so wary, but then again you are the guy who had public gay sex in a Canadian alley, Sam thought.  
“I promise, unless you’ve, like, killed someone.” Sarah smiled, and Jess put a warm hand on Sam’s shoulder blade.  
“If you break your promise, that might come true for me at least.” Jess channelled her inner Lucifer and smiled with cold, merciless eyes. Sam had no idea the bouncy blonde had been capable of such an expression, but the surprise fear reassured him. Besides, Sarah now looked ready to hold on to whatever information under torture.  
“Ok, well…I like dudes. I’m gay.” He managed out, and it seemed like such a _church confession_ even though it really shouldn’t. “I don’t want to lead you on or anything, which is why I’m telling you, but nobody other than Jess knows, so please don’t tell anyone.“  
“Oh my god, totally… Sam, I got your back.” Sarah seemed to have A Moment of Realization then beamed her stellar beam, and Sam smiled back as some kind of relief drizzled through his worry. It had actually felt good to tell her. Maybe coming out to more people he trusted wouldn’t be so hard. 

“I think Charlie’s guessed.” Jess commented as The Moment came to a natural, beautiful conclusion and they continued up the road.  
“What? How?” Sam drew his head back in confusion.  
“You pointed out that beach model’s tan lines before her titties when Charlie was talking crushes. She’s been suspicious ever since, but she knows what it’s like, so she won’t out you.” Jess…he was so lucky to have a friend like Jess. She had his back, and she always knew what to say to make him feel better.  
“Yeah, maybe I’ll tell her next, but not, like today. I think we’ve all had enough drama for today.” Sam rubbed his eyes as Dean’s reply that was probably a lone, single ‘k’ dinged from his pocket.  
“Amen to that! So matching outfits?” Sarah rubbed her hands together, an art student primed for the Best Dressed challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayy, so this is a kind of Clearing Things Up chapter after the wild tornado of Gabe :P Also Life Tip of Hades: Sometimes ya gotta stay in the closet to be safe, but building up a network of people you trust, who know, is a good start n.n I hope you enjoyed it anyway though! I won't spoil, but the next chapter's gonna be something to look forward to, oh yes ;) But yeah, I'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter, so leave a comment or kudos if you like! All the comments last week were so amazing - I'm so lucky to have such an incredible bunch of readers ♥ You really make my whole writing experience the best it can be n.n So thank you so much for that! Also, I couldn't believe I didn't put [this video](http://swaglexander-the-great.tumblr.com/tagged/in-KOREA) on the bottom of the chapter where Lucifer used the line 'I will choke the boy out of you'. I can pretty much quote the whole thing, it's that good :D Stay awesome my buddies! ＼(*T▽T*)／
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [help me with the laptop fund!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	18. Sam is Schooled

Sam leaned against the brick wall of the back of their local vet, one eye one the road for Lucifer’s Hyundai. It was a good spot for a scandalous rendezvous; in an alley, but a hobo and gang-free one. The vet’s was nowhere near mom’s café and in the complete opposite direction of Bobby’s. And if Lucifer was late from his parkour (which Sam so wanted to join in on next week, because parkour was _awesome_ ) Sam could go and watch the kittens gambol. Kittens were, like, the opposite of clowns. In Sam’s heaven there would just be a field of gambolling kittens, though with the amount of lies he told, clowns were more likely on the horizon. He’d given mom and Dean the excuse of studying at Kevin’s for the weekend a) because Coach Tran would probably be so enrapt by YouTube soccer analyses that she wouldn’t notice if he was there or not, and b) Kevin would probably be studying so hard that _he_ wouldn’t notice if Sam was there or not. Dean had lapped up the Total Nerd Sam crap he was selling, and hey, he’d study after the weekend. Besides, Dean wanted to spend Dad-Free hometime with mom this weekend to learn how to cook better. That seemed like a life skill Sam should learn, but parkour just sounded _so_ much cooler. On that note, Mom was probably too distracted at the moment to force him into much-needed cooking lessons; even Sam had noticed Dad’s absences stretched longer each weekend. Whether he was going to just up and leave sometime was an option that mom didn’t quite seem to want to face. Bobby and Missouri and decided to team up and sleuth the man, but she didn’t want any part of it in case it gave Dad even more of a reason to leave her. Sam understood that – without the income…well, he didn’t really want to think of it either. At least he and Dean had both made it through school, but…agh, he’d just bury his head in Lucifer’s sexy crotch and forget about it for now. The usual A+ Sam Strat.

 

The guttural rumble of a motorcycle cut through his phone music, and Sam reconsidered for a moment just how gang-free this alley was. That reconsideration upped a notch as the leather-clad rider crawled the Victory Hammer Cruiser (dad’s motorcycle magazines which paired shiny machines and hot rugged bike men had probably contributed to his biker fantasies more that Sam was willing to admit) to an idle, then revved three times. Sam tugged out his earphones, but before he could say blurt something quite stupid and flirty or sprint for Kittens, the man astride the motorbike lifted his helmet off to reveal Lucifer’s smug expression. Okay, this was around the time Sam usually woke up.  
“You gonna keep staring there handsome, or are you gonna hop on.” Lucifer grinned a wicked grin and it took mental effort for Sam to shut his mouth. Lucifer was on a motorbike. In tight leather pants. And a badass black leather jacket. Just put Death By Sexiness on his heart-attack induced headstone.  
“Hi…” Sam managed out in quite a weak voice with a breathless grin. Really? _Hi?_  
“Now _that’s_ the expression I was going for.” Lucifer put his helmet between his leather-clad legs and unslung his biker backpack with. “Steve’s out of town and said I could – “

The hot blonde was rendered unable to finish his sentence, because Sam had already marched over there and dragged him up into a kiss. _Mmm_ Lucifer smelled like heated leather mixed in with shower-fresh hair and his usual gorse cologne. How was Sam like this with Lucifer? Around Sarah he was angsting over admitting the gay, while with Lucifer, he had his tongue in another man’s mouth in broad daylight. Maybe it’s because Lucifer looked like he could throat-punch a heckler to death right now.  
“Sam – “ Lucifer laughed, but was smothered as Sam groaned a little bit and caught whatever the teacher was about to say with hungry lips. _God_ he’d needed to kiss this hot bastard for far too long now, and his cock thickened at the heat on his sensitive lips, Lucifer’s scent, the catch of the other man’s oddly hard backpack against his jeans… If Lucifer hadn’t put his helmet on the family jewels, Sam would be straddling him like a carousel horse.  
“How much do you think Steve would kill you if we had sex on this bike?” Sam half-joked, because if Lucifer said that it had all been part of the loan pact _they were having sex on this bike._  
“I think Steve would get his grandma to skin me alive, because he’s a pacifist but she fought in WWII disguised as a man.” Lucifer whispered like a sweet nothing in his ear. “She’s 89 and she handles a paintball gun like a weapon of destruction. But still you tempt me.”

Sam made a noise between a giggle and a gasp as that hot tongue swiped up his ear ridge and rough stubble teased the sensitive skin by Sam’s hairline. The older man pressed his backpack up against Sam’s crotch with a very purposeful moment.  
“Put this on, ya little tease, and I’ll take you for a ride.” Lucifer put on a rough voice with _the most_ roguish grin and Sam could only shoot him the hottest bedroom eyes he could muster before he took the spare helmet and slid it over his head. He’d ridden a few of Bobby’s fixer-upper dirtbikes before, he didn’t need instruction with that or the D-ring strap at least. A little loose, but pretty good for someone else’s.  
“Hang on tight, this ain’t gonna be a respectable teacher ride.” Lucifer had a glint in his eye that reminded Sam he really should get around to defining ‘sexy’ and ‘scary’ separately, but then he had Lucifer’s warm leather ass and a big, rumbling beast between his legs, and that didn’t seem important anymore.

To say Lucifer drove like a maniac would be a lie. Lucifer drove like a very _skilled_ maniac. In the centre city, how he managed to split-second judge the distance between people’s wing mirrors and the bike bars had to be from sheer experience, and even Sam’s impatient hard-on took a backseat in the wake of breathlessness. But it was when they hit the highway when things got Real. This ‘respectable teacher’ turned speed demon shot through the two lanes of one-way evening traffic, dead on the centreline. Sam looked out of what seemed to be a very thin shield of helmet plastic as bike hit a high-pitched whine, and cars sped by in a blur. One part of him wanted to cling on for dear life, because there was only Lucifer’s driving capability between him and an early, close-casket grave, and the other part of him wanted to throw out his arms like Rose in Titanic and let adrenaline consume him. But all parts of his brain in favour of keeping his arms, vetoed that suggestion. Several cars blared horns, but before Sam could even figure out which side of them it came from, they’d roared past and ducked back into the flow to cut lanes. He shouldn’t have a maniac grin on his face, but maybe he was crazy, or maybe it was all those repressed motorhead genes finally set free, but this was the definition of exhilaration. By the time they stuttered into Steve’s garage, all of Sam’s limbs shook like jelly, his heart had been replaced by a Taiko drummer, and his head was so light it didn’t feel real.

“How’d you like the scenic route home?” Lucifer had removed his helmet, Sam realized, so he peeled his arms from around the man’s solid waist and did the same.  
“I felt like I was gonna die, and I want to do it again.” Sam grinned and breathed a little bit as he mentally examined his legs to make sure they wouldn’t buckle the moment he stood up.  
“Well with Steve on a two week cruise, I’m sure I can manage that.” Lucifer peeled off his thick, black gloves and fixed Sam with eyes that smouldered. Ugh, god, Satan was real and he was _sexy._  
“Y’know, if you keep up using the eye magic on me in garages we are _gonna_ end up having garage sex one day.” Sam unhooked himself from the motorcycle seat and put his helmet on Steve’s workbench beside Lucifer’s borrowed one.  
“So I _do_ use the Satan Eyes on you.” Lucifer smirked and took his hand. Sam shouldn’t feel so damn buzzed about hand-holding but a) his body was hyperactive on adrenaline and b) he’d never held a dude’s hand before. The older man’s finger mounts and segments were rough with callouses, his hand wasn’t engulfed by Sam’s but matched it in size, and the dust of hair on the back tickled his fingers. It just felt _right_ , and Sam was sort of held in wonder by it.

“The ‘Satan Eyes’?” He laughed after his hand-holding recovery and followed Lucifer up the stairs. Hell, he could watch Lucifer walk all day if he wore those leathers.  
“It’s what Gabriel calls the look I give guys I want to make sweet, passionate love to.” The badass biker grinned, then pulled Sam forward into a quick, hot press of lips. “Fuck, I’ve been wanting to do that to you all week.”  
“Get inside – “ Sam paused to suck the man’s warm bottom lip. “ – and I’ll show you what _I’ve_ been wanting to do all week.”  
There was a tug on his arm and a thud, and all of a sudden, Sam found the hand Lucifer was holding pinned against the door while the other man’s hips ground real slow against him. A happy moan of surprise vibrated against Lucifer’s tongue as he sucked it, and his cock thickened against the teacher’s eager length.  
“I got blood tests done to see if I could bareback you safely. Just my cock, no condoms.” Lucifer broke away and growled in his ear as keys jingled somewhere in the background. Oh fuck, Sam really shouldn’t have gone commando today; the rough material of his jeans had him engorged and throbbing, and his tip twitched at Lucifer’s words. It had been that mental image that had made him spurt all over himself when they’d had phone sex.  
“Come in me,” He panted out a moan and sucked at Lucifer’s neck as they gyrated. “Fuck me hard and raw and make me beg for it.” 

The door gave behind him, and Sam stumbled back, Lucifer along with him, lips all over each other; Sam, honestly, missed Lucifer’s mouth by mistake, but just went with it up his jawline.  
“Go to the bedroom. Strip. Get on my bed, and I’ll make this the best night of your life.” Lucifer’s hand went into his hair as Sam pulled their waists into a warm press.  
“Keep those leathers on, and you’ve got a deal, Devil.” Sam hoped that when he looked back on his young dirty talk, he didn’t cringe into the foetal position. But it sounded hot now, so what the fuck.  
“Deal, you backtalking little shit.” Lucifer gave him a last, messy kiss, then Sam broke away and minced into the lounge. His shirt hit the floor before he even made it past the bathroom.

 

Sam didn’t have to wait very long. All the same, it was oddly sexy to be laid out completely naked for someone’s enjoyment, and in Lucifer’s warm apartment, his cock didn’t flag an inch.  
“Mmm.” He gave a luxurious stretch, covers soft under his bare ass, and tucked his hands behind his head with one knee raised and the other dropped.  
“Well aren’t you a picture.” Lucifer’s half-lidded smoulder as he leaned against the doorframe made Sam start for a second, and since he’d started a wide-eyed stare, he might as well continue it; the older blonde had shed the shirts underneath his jacket, and now his muscular, hair-dusted chest was a seductive stripe down to his treasure trail. Fuck. Leather Daddy was _such_ an appropriate term right now.  
“Says you.” Sam lifted himself onto his forearms, but Lucifer’s sultry gaze dropped to his cock, which had swollen just that little bit extra to reach its full length. The soccer captain wanted to touch himself, straddle Lucifer’s lap and jerk off, hear his come spatter the leather of Lucifer’s tight, raised crotch like thick rain while the older man’s fingers were buried deep inside him…fuck, Sam’s legs loosened wider at the thought. Well, they had the whole weekend. He’d add it to the list.

“Mm.” Lucifer bit his lip in an absent kind of way as a pearl of slick tickled Sam’s foreskin. Then he sorted through a thick leather bag, that the younger Winchester hadn’t noticed was in his furthest hand, and tugged out what looked like a pair of thick black wristbands. Sam had seen rockstars and bikers wear those in pictures. But why…?  
“Sam, I want to try a couple of things.” Lucifer’s pale blue eyes slid to him as the teacher paced around the bed and sat down beside him, that bag at his feet. “If you don’t like them, then we don’t do them. But if you do…”  
Oh Sam liked the look of that smile.  
“What sort of things?” He shot back with a coy little glance, and rolled onto his side into the ol’ French Girl position. The handsome blonde just let one of the leather armbands drop to reveal a chain between them.  
“I want to restrain you. Just your hands.” Lucifer picked up his wrist with gentle fingers and brushed kisses that tingled all across Sam’s palm. Sam watched with elegant eyes as a flush ran down his chest. The idea of being at Lucifer’s mercy paired with the way he already loved it when the teacher manhandled him… heat swelled through his groin at the idea.

“Yeah, I’m good with that.” He breathed as Lucifer’s perfect lips reached his wrist. Then the soft inside of the cuff slid over Lucifer’s kisses, and the older man buckled it shut.  
“Not too tight?”  
“Maybe a little loose, actually.” Sam twisted it on his arm just to see, then unbuckled it and pulled it snug. That was more like it. Lucifer turned his wrist to check the hole he’d used then used an insistent thumb on the hollow of Sam’s hip to push him onto his back.  
“Hands on the pillow, pet.”  
Sam regretted the restraints almost immediately, as Lucifer straddled his chest, hard cock so visible and ready to be stroked under the leather. He tried to snake a hand forward, but Lucifer caught it and pinned his wrist hard into the pillow. Sam wasn’t sure that the little noise he made at the back of his throat was unhappy or horny.  
“Oh no, no, you’ll get that if you’re good.” Lucifer tutted. The chain clinked behind Sam as his lover threaded it through the slatted wooden head board, and then his other wrist was encased. There was no give; his hands stayed at his ears or higher.  
“What constitutes as ‘good’?” Sam raised his eyebrows, but couldn’t quite get the sassy tone he wanted while Lucifer sucked and kissed down his throat and chest. Fuck he loved the way Lucifer kissed his skin – so intense and intimate, and his cock twitched out more precome as the sensation of Lucifer’s scruff on his skin tingled hot down him.  
“No backtalk for one.” Lucifer’s grin was as jaunty as Sam had been trying to be, and he clicked open a tube Sam hadn’t seen him retrieve. Cool gel massaged over his nipple, and the soccer captain gasped at the temperature difference. “You have a chest a fucking woman could be proud of, damn.”

Sam swallowed, panted, and his hips twitched on instinct as gentle lips and teeth played with the nub that Lucifer’s finger’s didn’t massage. Pleasure flashed straight down his side and zinged through his cock. An unexpected moan broke out of his throat before he could stop it. Fuck, he knew nipples were sensitive, but Lucifer was playing him like a fucking instrument.  
“Coach Tran makes – ah – us work our chests so we can bounce the ball off better.” Sam gasped, and tugged at the cuffs as his leg jerked. So this is what he’d signed up for with restraints, huh? That Lucifer could torture him to death with pleasure and Sam could only struggle.  
“What’s – “ Sam broke off as Lucifer pressed black pads over his nipples. A wire joined them together.  
“See if you like it. A little spark.” The wicked blonde sat on his haunches, what had to be a _millimetre_ from brushing Sam’s cock. Then a quick, sharp sting to both his sensitive nubs made him jerk with a yelp.  
“No! I don’t – “ He broke off into a gasp; in the wake of the shock, his chest danced with delicate pleasure which raced all the way down him.  
“I’ll keep it on low?” Lucifer cocked his head, and Sam’s panted. That had _hurt_ , but then it had felt good after, but also…

“Isn’t that dangerous? Like, electricity by my heart?” Death by Leather Daddy Electrocution was not what he really wanted on his tombstone, but then again at least Dean would get an open casket to gaze at his sinful body, versus any motorbike-related incidents.  
“They’re bipolar, on independent circuits each. There won’t be any current through you, but you might feel a little bit of travel from the water-based lube.” Lucifer put the control box aside on the bed to nuzzle Sam’s abs. “I’ll take them off if you want?”  
“No – “ His breath hitched, and Sam’s bound hands couldn’t smother the weak little high noise he made as Lucifer’s teeth scraped down his sensitive hip-bone. Fuck, Sam’s back arched, and his hips thrust up for some kind of friction, relief, but Lucifer had been very careful about where he’d positioned himself. God, he was _dripping._  
“Now, given how excitable you get, how about we take precautions?” Those strong, calloused hands pushed Sam’s thighs apart, until he was spread like a stripper. Fuck, Sam’s cock throbbed, his ass twitched, desperate to be breached, but he couldn’t do _anything_ to help himself. Had he got himself in too deep, or was he the fucking luckiest guy in the world?

“Oh shit…” He groaned as a leather line wrapped around the base of his heavy cock. What _was_ that? How did so many different sex toys exist? Then there was a press and a click of poppers, and the band restricted tight around his girth.  
“That’s an adjustable cock ring. Feel ok?” Lucifer’s tongue lapped hot, decadent lines around the thing, and honestly, had he expected actual words while he was doing that? Sam whined, helpless, as Lucifer’s hot mouth undid him; his thighs shook, his knee crooked up, but Lucifer just held him spread with one hand. It wasn’t just that – Sam’s cock pulsed tight in the ring, and it felt engorged beyond usual. By Lucifer’s expression, when he finally pulled his head back, it looked that way as well.  
“Yeah. Yeah it’s fine.” Sam gritted out to try and retain some dignity, but Lucifer probably just took it as a challenge. He looked down himself, and fuck, his cock had gone a deep red, and a pool of clear liquid matted his treasure trail. He hadn’t even known it was possible to feel this hard – he was harder than the first time they’d fucked – and it had his head in a spin.

Lucifer knelt between his legs; his lips shone with either Sam’s slick or saliva, the firm line of his own erection was all too obvious, and his deep-set gaze travelled down just a little bit more.  
“Let’s have some fun with that pretty little ass.” The teacher reached down beside the bed and pulled out a bottle and something long that Sam didn’t get a good look at. He just tipped his head back and panted at the tightness in his groin, the thrum of his body. He should have been prepared for the gentle, lube-slick finger that circled on his puckered nerves, but his whole body jerked and a cry burst out of his lips. Fuck, he wanted to roll on to his side and stop this sweet massage, but it fucking felt _so good_. Sam urged his hips against the touch, eyes squeezed shut and then groaned as a finger pushed into him.  
“Good boy, good boy.” Lucifer’s melodious voice encouraged as he stroked Sam’s insides with slow, rhythmic pumps. Mm, he liked it, fuck he loved it…Sam just gasped, willing to go with whatever at this point. Another finger joined the first, but neither of them hit that good spot – just eased him open. Then the fingers slid out, and a frustrated sound pushed out of Sam’s throat as he tugged on the restraints. He wasn’t drunk enough for that to be adequate prep for Lucifer’s cock. 

“Lucifer…” Sam groaned, but when he looked down, Lucifer didn’t have his fly undone. What he did have was…a dildo? But it wasn’t shaped like a cock. It was black, and had bulbs all down it – small at the tip, large at the base. “You gonna fuck me with that?”  
“No, but can I prep you with it?” Lucifer picked up the bottle of lube, and Sam just nodded under the heat of his skin. He had accepted that Lucifer was the Pleasure Expert, and Sam was happy to discover new and weird ways to get off.

The first bulb went in easy, as did the second. The third needed a few gentle thrusts, and then his ass just opened up with the lube and the motion. The fourth slid in without a hitch, except…  
“Oh. Oh fuck.” Sam gasped and swallowed, and tried to shift it inside him, but it didn’t budge. His chest and face seemed to glow with heat, Jesus…  
“What?” Lucifer wiped excess lube on Sam’s thighs, and they flinched under his touch. He felt stretched wide open, wet with lube, and his cock strained, a hard, heavy need against his stomach. He was a mess, but the best mess ever.  
“It’s right on my prostate, ohh fuck.” Sam moaned as the toy pressed that spot – didn’t rub it, just pushed an unforgiving bulb on it, and the sensation coiled deep in his belly out all the way down his legs. He shook uncontrollably now, he could see the trembles flicker on his sweat-slick skin.

“Good.” The teacher shot him a perky little smile that made Sam frown in confusion, then Lucifer climbed off the bed altogether.  
“Wait, what’re you…” Sam managed out in a weak voice, but broke off, bewildered as his boyfriend hauled a desk chair over to beside the bed, and shrugged off his leather jacket. Then Lucifer pulled out a book. A very familiar book.  
“Oh my god Lucifer. No.” Sam yanked in frustration at his ties, and cursed just what a clever trick this had been.  
“Your exam is on Wednesday. You haven’t studied and you have very few notes.” Lucifer slung his leg over the bedside drawers, as though he wanted Sam to see his obvious bulge. “I care about your grades, dear.”  
“When you let me go, I am going to _kill_ you.” Oh, he should have seen this coming. Goddamnit. Downsides to dating a teacher: they strap you to their bed and force you to revise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next week fuckos! :D Lol, I’d love to hear what you thought of this chapter despite the horrendous cliffhanger, and thank you so much to all you wonderful readers who have already left comments and kudos! Y’all are amazing n.n Stay awesome buddies! ✧ ─=≡Σ((( つ•̀ω•́)つ
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [help me with the laptop fund!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	19. The Fuckening

“You get an answer right, you get this.”  
Despite himself, a shocked moan tore from Sam’s lips as this asshole clicked a remote. Vibrations hummed across his sensitive entrance from the base of the toy and right on his g-spot inside him, made his eyes roll. His toes curled on the bedspread, and by the time Lucifer turned it off, Sam’s breath had turned to whines.  
“You get an answer wrong…” Satan himself reached for the Nipple Shocker before Sam realized, and gave a sudden yelp as his tits got zapped.  
“How the hell…” Sam panted, jaw slack from the weakness of his body. “Am I supposed to answer questions distracted like this?”  
“Think of it like exam pressure.” Lucifer licked his thumb and opened the textbook to the first page. “If you can answer correctly with the distraction of my sexy body, your cock in that glorious state and vibrating anal beads in your ass, then I’m sure you can deal with crushing expectations. Now, let’s look at genetics. Sam, define genotype for me.”  
Fuck…ok, he knew this one. 

“That’s the genes of an organism, right?” Sam panted, but Lucifer raised his eyebrows for him to continue. “Um, capital letter is dominant, lowercase is recessive. Two capitals or lowercase are homozygous, one of each is…heterozygous?”  
If he thought of this in sexuality terms, it was easier. Two the same = homo, two different = hetero.  
“Very good.” Lucifer smirked, and Sam arched up with a cry as the thickness inside him thrummed against all his sweet spots. Warm precome spattered drops up his abs as his overstimulated cock bounced with the motion.  
“Now explain how a simple punnet square works, then we’ll move to hybrids.” Lucifer’s voice was a deception. No way was he that calm and collected, but dammit, Sam knew he was stubborn as all hell. So he panted, head dropped back on the pillow and tried to recall genes. 

 

“I can’t, I can’t…” Sam just about sobbed and he lay, curled on his side on the bed. They’d been at this for at least an hour. Lucifer had removed the cock ring to let him cool down, then brought him back up and snapped it on when he deemed it torturous enough again and again. True, they had gotten through genetics, organic structure and half of biotechnology, and Sam would never forget _any_ of it, but the world had started to spin. His lips and chin were wet with saliva he couldn’t wipe off, and he’d made a mess of Lucifer’s covers with precome. His whole body trembled, his cock was so sensitive that he moaned when it brushed the bed, and he wanted release, he _needed_ release.  
“Shhshhshh, okay Sam, we got through half.” This evil god set the textbook and notes they’d made aside and stroked his damp hair. “Let me get these off.”

Sam swallowed a groan as Lucifer peeled off the electric pads. His nipples throbbed, erect and as over-sensitive as his cock.  
“Fuck me like you promised.” He slurred and twisted on to all fours – the restraint chain was just long enough to let his hands cross. Sam pushed his filled ass into the air and spread his legs as his tortured cock hung beneath him.  
“You sure?” Warm fingers trailed up his side, and Sam convulsed, clutched at the pillow in desperation. “I can get pretty rough doggy style.”  
“Yes, yes I’m sure!” He couldn’t wait. He wanted it so bad he shook with need. “No condom, just – ”  
Sam didn’t even try to smother the high noise that left his lips as Lucifer let him feel the largest bead slide out of him, then the next one in a slow, torturous drag, and again until his slick ass convulsed around nothing.  
“Oh god, please, please.” Sam arched his ass back as he heard those leather jeans unzip then hit the floor. He looked over his shoulder for a second, just in time to see Lucifer’s hand fix around his hip; the bed dipped down, then a shocked cry tore from his throat as the thick, hot length of Lucifer’s cock plunged into his unresisting tunnel. Sam keened and quivered around it, so full his throat choked. Lube dripped down his taint and balls from the back, and a thick line of precome drooled from his cock.

“Brace yourself.” Lucifer growled, and Sam just managed to contort his restrained arms around a pillow. Then Lucifer thrust into him so hard a grunt ripped out Sam’s throat, but he didn’t get time to recover before that cock pumped him again. And that was it. Sam couldn’t feel anything other than the savage, hard length that jackhammered against that hot, desperate spot, could only see black and white splotches beneath his eyelids as his eyes rolled back. He could only hang on until it was over as Lucifer fucked him so senseless that his system couldn’t keep up. His muscles knew they shook but didn’t know why, and all Sam could hear was a warped mixture of the harsh, quick thud of the bed against the wall, the smack of their skin, and his own broken moans. He would have collapsed, fucked his pleasure-tight cock into the bed, but Lucifer’s lusty hands hauled him back up again when his thighs and elbows gave out. Sam just saw stars as he was fucked dizzy, muffled by the pillow he clung to.  
“Beg for my come.” Lucifer voice snarled from somewhere, and the pace got faster, frantic, a deep _thud thud thud_ that pinged hot pleasure out to his fingers and toes. Sam tried to call himself back to reality, but another beat of Lucifer’s cock rendered him speechless.  
_“Sam.”_ Lucifer hissed, gave his thigh a sharp smack that he hardly even felt.  
“Please.” Sam’s voice shook with what might have been a sob own around the saliva that ran from his mouth. He didn’t care. He couldn’t think except to beg. “P-please, plea– _unh – pl – ”_

A satisfied grunt came from the man behind him, and that cock thrust into him so hard that Sam’s forearms, still around the pillow in a death grip, smacked into the headboard. Involuntary, alien noises shuddered out of his mouth – God, he could feel Lucifer’s balls twitch against his ass as they emptied into him, and Sam’s body shook, limp in Lucifer’s hands. A rinse of heat shot up his lower back as Lucifer moaned and convulsed with hard, strained pumps, still orgasming deep inside him. Sam’s head barely registered the click of his cock ring being undone, but then a rough hand massaged down to his oversensitive – _too_ sensitive – tip, and Sam screamed. His legs writhed wide open, he fucked into that hand, clawed into the pillow, curled in so hard on himself that Lucifer’s cock was half-dragged out his body. Then white-blotch ecstasy shuddered Sam from head to clenched toes and jizz sprayed out of his cock onto the bed in hot, desperate spurts of white. 

Sam just collapsed. Lucifer didn’t even try to hold him up this time, and the older man’s dense weight pressed on top of him. They lay like that, panted and groaned in a press of skin moulded on skin. Sam thought he dozed off at one point, a sticky mess with Lucifer’s half-hard cock still inside him. As light peeked through his heavy lids, Sam’s addled brain brought things back with a bit more clarity. He’d never been reduced to a senseless wreck like that, and it was a little scary what his body had done without his say so. But _wild_. It was like they’d been two animals mating on primal instinct. It had hurt, but his body had numbed it out with bliss. He’d never screamed like that before. It had been raw (pun probably intended), hard, had sacrificed his senses to ecstasy, and he wanted to do it again. Sam tried to move his restrained hand a little, but it just trembled like he had Parkinson’s.  
“You alright there, pet?” Lucifer’s low voice vibrated through his back, and a lazy kiss heated the curve of his neck. “I thought I saw you crying.”  
Sam blinked a couple of times, mortified, but still couldn’t tell. If Dean ever heard he _cried_ after sex…  
“Pro – “ He cleared his hoarse throat, then continued. “Probably just my eyes watering from that quality ass pounding.” 

There could be many bodily fluids the pillow could be damp from, and with the range of his cock, well, he’d rather not think about what he had his face smooshed in.  
“Think we made a mess ‘f your bed though.” Sam mumbled into the damp pillow.  
“More covers where they came from.” Lucifer hummed into his neck. “I should make us shower, but ugh.”  
They lapsed into contented silence again, and Sam just drank in the moment; the sensation of Lucifer’s warm skin sealed against his, the rhythm of their breaths, the weak tremble of his whole body – not even Coach Tran’s Super Intense Spartan Death Cardio had made him this limp and helpless.  
“You’re so not allowed to call me a virgin anymore.” Sam smiled, half-asleep, and Lucifer’s laugh thrummed through him.  
“Fair trade.” Gentle fingers scritched across his scalp, and Sam made a happy groan. To say he relaxed more would be a lie, because he already felt like a puddle.

“Why don’t you teach Sex Education?” Sam twisted his head around a little so he could see his teacher’s face. Those ice blue eyes were languid but amused, and his cheek was smooshed against Sam’s shoulder.  
“Problems.” Lucifer sighed. “PE Teacher’s didn’t like the hot Bio sex god taking their job. Besides, I got heckled way too often. Over _diagrams_ , not even…this. I mean, I _basked_ under the flattery but it’s not entirely appropriate.”  
That earned a laugh, then Sam shot him a lazy grin of disbelief. “You know, I can’t tell if you’re making that up or not, you hot Bio sex god.”  
“Hm.” Lucifer’s lips curved up into a smile. “No, it’s very true. And being the respectable teacher that I am, it didn’t do to be flirted with so much.”  
“Mm. ‘Respectable teacher’ huh?” Sam wiggled his bare, still cock-filled ass and earned a wince and a groan.  
“You’ve corrupted me, evil child.” Lucifer shot him a lazy side-eye, then a kiss, and eased himself up a little. Sam sucked in a breath to smother his whine as that limp cock slid out of him with a wet noise. Yum. “How’re you feeling?”  
“Shaky. Like, trembling all over.” His thighs ached from leftover lactic acid too. Well Coach Tran wouldn’t have to worry about him getting unfit over exam break, jeez.

Sam let Lucifer unbuckle the restraints, and hoped the red marks would be gone by Monday. Best to avoid awkward questions from his friends or Dean. Although, with the excuse of Kevin’s house, he could have said that Coach Tran had chained him to the jogging machine to make sure he ran enough miles. It was very feasible.  
“Mmkay, you stay there, I’ll get something to help.” Lucifer stroked the muscle of his shoulder, then padded off toward the kitchen. Sam just watched his bare ass go with a contented sigh. Ok, maybe he could forgive the forced revision.

*** 

Sam woke up in a warm snuggled haze the next morning. He’d kinda tucked himself into Lucifer’s side as the older man slept on his back, nose almost pressed to Lucifer’s shoulder. Sam just lay there for a moment in a waking stupor and watched his teacher sleep with fuzzy eyes. Lucifer seemed so gentle and vulnerable like this; pale, stubble-dappled throat outstretched, lids soft over his eyes, and lips relaxed in an almost naive pout. Sam had never seen the charismatic man look so defenceless, and it struck him. So he kept a sleepy watch and just relished the sensation of skin on skin, the simple kind of _closeness_ he’d never experienced before. Well, he’d also never experienced being half crushed by a full-grown man in his sleep or woke up with a limb so numb he thought he’d lost it, but bed sharing seemed to be a learned art form. There must be a perfect equilibrium somewhere between too-much-snuggle-too-many-blankets and too-little-snuggle-too-few-blankets, but like finding the right water temperature on a new shower to the exact millimetre, it would probably take a frustrating amount of time to perfect. The morning part wasn’t so bad though. Lucifer hadn’t had a dream about skeevy club men and bodily sleep-hurled him out the window, so that was a plus.

Mm, Sam just let the warm seep into his skin a little more. There was some leftover pizza from last night for breakfast, but also another half of that damn Biology textbook to get through. Maybe if Sam crept out of bed and soccer-kicked it over the neighbour’s fence, he could pin it on the Bermuda Triangle and get off lightly. ‘Get off’ were two words out of many that Sam’s brain imploded at around Lucifer, especially when pressed up against the man’s virile, masculine chest. So the soccer captain rode on through the usual erotic implosion, nuclear aftermath and saucy half-life, then sifted through the toxic (by Britney Spears) waste to find an excellent idea. He’d always wanted to suck Lucifer off since that shower…

Sam slipped further under the covers with a smirk. In the warm dark, he used his lips and tongue to map a path down to the fabric of Lucifer’s briefs. To his delight, a little high, breathy confused sound caught in the sleeping man’s throat before he even understood why. Beside Sam’s cheek Lucifer’s curious cock swelled, and he took the initiative to peel the material down.  
“Mm, Sam…” Lucifer mumbled and hot lust poured down to Sam’s belly. But he didn’t want to rush; he wanted to make this as good for Lucifer as it had been for him. So with deliberate slowness, Sam dipped down and pressed his lips to the thick, engorged flesh, pleased at the helpless little ‘huh’ that came from the man beneath him. The temptation was just to go for the tip, but the memory of Lucifer’s lips made him suck lower, test his tongue against the root of Lucifer’s pleasure. The older man’s body jerked up against Sam’s mouth, victory in a movement, and a lazy hand curled in Sam’s hair. But it seemed his teacher was happy to let him show what he’d learned, and oh, Sam was gonna prove that his skill at sucking wasn’t just limited to Biology.

With a little hungry noise, Sam dragged his lips up in the dark and found the ridge of Lucifer’s glans already hot with precome. God he wanted to just get his mouth around it already, but instead he just kitten-licked it, tried to build up that fire.  
“Mm, good boy, good boy.” Lucifer muttered. He shifted his legs wider for easier access, and Sam scrambled blindly between them. He didn’t crush either of Lucifer’s legs with his knees, so everyone lived to happily suck dick for another few minutes.  
“Use your hand too. Use your fingers on the base.” Lucifer panted, voice husky, and God, Sam was so fucking hard that his cock stretched his underwear with heaviness. He just gave a little moan in reply, then slid his mouth on to the cock beneath him. Fuck, he had another man’s cock in his mouth, and he had a man moaning under him…he’d _dreamed_ about this.  
Sam worked his fingers in what he hoped were coherent, good motions on Lucifer’s base as he bobbed faster, suddenly desperate for the older man’s come. The little whines the teacher made and the delighted squirm of his hips just made Sam more enthusiastic; as much as he liked it when Lucifer lavished attention on him, damn these noises, these noises of such a dominant man being undone like this just _got_ to him.

There was a rush of colder air and sudden light as Lucifer threw back the covers, propped up on his forearm to watch, face flushed and mouth a loose oval of pleasure.  
“Sam – unh!” A noise punched out of Lucifer’s chest, but also out of Sam as he promptly tried to deepthroat the dick and choked. Fuck, how did Lucifer make it look so easy? How did he even do it? Sam thought through coughs and pulled off, but didn’t get the chance to feel embarrassed; Lucifer’s fingers smoothed through his hair then to his jaw and guided him back toward his spit-slick cock.  
“Let me hit the underside of your tongue. I want to see you swallow down all my come too.” Lucifer panted, and Sam flushed hot all over at the edge of desperation on the man’s voice.  
“Yes sir.” Sam’s voice came out deeper and grittier than he expected, but he didn’t bother to see how Lucifer reacted; he laved his tongue across Lucifer’s slit, then plunged it back into his mouth, this time with his tongue curled so Lucifer could hit something. 

There was only rough breath for a moment, then Lucifer urged in faster.  
“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna – fuck Sam – “ A loud moan sent a jagged bolt of heat straight to Sam’s erect cock, and Lucifer arched up. Heat filled his mouth as Sam wrapped his hand around his own cock in his underwear. Sam swallowed as quickly as he could as he jerked himself hard, but some slipped out the corner of his mouth –  
And then he met desperate eyes with Lucifer’s glazed blue ones as helpless little noises dropped from his lips. He must have looked a mess; lips swollen from the work, a line of Lucifer’s semen from his mouth, face flushed and desperate…For a moment Lucifer looked stunned, but then Sam’s eyes snapped shut with bliss. He bucked inward on himself with a shameless groan as he soaked his underwear with shudders of hot come.  
“Holy shit, you are going to kill me.” Lucifer’s low comment broke through Sam’s gasps, but when he met his teacher’s eyes, Sam awarded himself a smirk. First blowjob: success.  
“Was that an A then?”  
“A+ pet.” Lucifer shot him the most sultry eyes ever, then reached over and passed him a water bottle from the nightstand. Ugh, good. Come might be sexy, but it did, well, taste gross. And made his mouth spark in a weird way. “Now I – “

_Knock knock knock!_

Lucifer frowned in the direction of the apartment door, then gave an audible, displeased sigh.  
“I guess I have to get out of the arms of my sexy, tanned Adonis to get that, don’t I?”  
Sam grinned under the praise, then sat back on his haunches with a shrug. “Your house.”  
Lucifer huffed out another sigh, and disentangled himself from said tanned Adonis and the sheets. With his underwear in such a mess, and the probability of that being one of Lucifer’s co-workers, Sam decided that the bathroom might be a good idea for him right now. 

Little did either of them know just how much more interesting their morning was about to get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy another small cliffhanger, but what does that matter after that fuckfest huh? (idk if that chapter title makes me want to laugh or cry tbh) :P Hope that made up for last week’s teasin’ ;) I honestly have no idea how people master the two-person bed sleep. It’s like tetris but with limbs?? Lol. I’d love to hear what Drama you think might be entering Sam and Lucifer’s eventful little lives next chapter, or indeed anything you’d like to say about this one! Your comments always make my day and man, last chapter there were so many and it really inspired me to write a heap (I got so many words done!!) So thank you so much for taking the time to write and for the kudos too x) You’re all the best and may you all stay your awesome selves  
> ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡° ) ━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [help me with the laptop fund!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	20. Sugarslut is Born

Lucifer tugged on some jeans he had in the usual clothes-floor pile, then prowled towards the door. Maybe it was Gabriel on the run from Nancy Gouter, his rival patisserie chef. There were only so many times Lucifer could pretend to be a foreign gang lord after owed money before Nancy got suspicious about how many times Gabriel was dragged away but survived.  
Then Lucifer took one look through the peephole and his day was _made._

“Sam!” He hissed, and the shaggy-haired teenager poked his head around the bathroom door. “Get some jeans on and just play along.”  
Sam frowned and little but nodded and limped slightly back to their bedroom buck-ass nude. Mmm. Lucifer watched that Greek statue ass leave for just long enough for the visitors to give another knock. So Lucifer, ever the good community man, opened it.  
“Hello there. Have you got a minute to talk about Jesus?” One of the priests asked, then seemed to notice that their door-to-door victim had no shirt. He hoped they noticed the gratuitous Sam-hickeys up his neck as well. Lucifer shot them the brightest smile of his life, then turned around to call back into the house.  
“Hey Sugarslut! There’s some men here to talk about Jesus!”  
Lucifer turned back to the prettiest picture of two priests exposed to the name of their Adversary tattooed across a man’s back and crinkled his nose a little.  
“Just a sec.”  
“Sir, do you – you have the Devil’s name on you!” The older priest gasped and to Lucifer’s delight, his face began to turn a nice red. Oh, this was going to be fun. The younger priest just side-eyed the stairs, as if a quick, holy sprint might solve all his problems right now.  
“Oh that old thing!” Lucifer gave a chortle Gabriel might be proud of and waved a hand. “Don’t worry, I don’t sacrifice children to the Devil anymore. Goats are easier to get hold of.”

The older priest’s open-mouthed stammer was interrupted by another pleasant surprise.  
“Hey Daddy.” Sam put on the most Playboy Bunny voice known to man. The young, muscular stud snaked two bare arms around Lucifer’s torso , then gave him a kiss on the cheek as icing on the cake. “What’d you say?”  
The first priest looked on the brink of a stroke. The younger one had sort of gathered up his rosary beads and fixed his pure eyes on the middle distance. Lucifer hadn’t caused the hospitalization of a priest in his life, but with his name, it was probably bound to happen someday.  
“They want to come in and talk about Jesus, sugar. I mean, we’d have to clean up the lube and stripper pole, but I think we could find somewhere to sit that you haven’t blown me on.” Lucifer booped his perfect man on the nose. Sam just squeezed him with a horny hum, then began to press warm lips down his already lovebitten neck and shoulders. Put that reminder down: Sam likes call boy role-play. Lucifer decided he also liked call boy role-play.

“Father James, we are leaving!” The older priest barked, and with a red-faced glare at the pair of them marched down the stairs. Father James seemed to have either got lost in the middle distance or in Lucifer’s hickey-tinged nipple.  
“Still wanna come in, Father?” Lucifer pushed his luck and shot the poor man a wink. Sam nibbled at his ear, and fuck did Lucifer wish they hadn’t just blown their loads. He was _so_ ready for slut Sam. Then again, with the Super Pounding he’d given the man last night, they’d probably have to settle for something creative and less ass related.

“Uh, n-n-n-n – I don’t think I – “  
“Father!” His prayer pal called again, and Father James pretty much Usain Bolted out of there. Lucifer’s smug snicker was interrupted by a familiar howl of laughter from Steve’s empty trashcan.

“Gabriel. In the trash where you belong, huh?” Lucifer crossed his arms with raised eyebrows. Sam stopped his kisses, and tensed his arms, as if unsure whether to unmould himself from Lucifer. Gabriel popped out of the trash, in hysterics, with tears in his eyes.  
“I – ahahaha – I saw them preaching Old Testament BS – ahaa – and told them to visit your place b-b-because you were interested.” Gabriel giggled out, and managed to trip out of the bin with a loud crash. “Ooh, that was beautiful. I knew you’d get em good.”  
“Does he - ?”  
“Yeah, Gabe figured it out.” Lucifer gave Sam’s cheek a quick kiss, then turned back to his brother, who had almost gone into the foetal position with laughter.  
“Oh, and, er, Sugarslut?” Sam raised his eyebrows, but Lucifer raised em right back.  
“Daddy?”  
“You gonna call him that now?” Gabriel wheezed out, and managed to clamber to his feet on the landing rails.  
“I think we both have too many daddy issues for that one to work.” Lucifer offered, and Sam shot him a kind of ‘fair enough’ face. “But what even are you doing here?”

“Ahhh. Whoo.” Gabriel leaned back and caught his sinful breath for a second. “C’mon, Satan, let me into your spawn pit and I’ll tell.”  
“Spawn pit? Can we call your balls that?” Sam grinned _the most_ asshole grin. Gabriel pointed and cackled as Lucifer shot an incredulous look between the two of them.  
“Gabriel, you’re corrupting my pure, innocent boyfriend.”  
“Or you’ve finally met your match!” Gabriel chuckled, animated with glee, and patted Lucifer on the bare shoulder as he slipped past through the door. Sam raised jaunty eyebrows, and Lucifer just shook his head with a grin as he followed his brother.

“Aw man, you were lying about the stripper pole!” Gabriel turned around in the middle of the lounge with outstretch arms.  
“Yeah, Gabriel, I was also lying about sacrificing children to Satan.” Lucifer snickered as Sam gave his waist a final, warm squeeze, then headed for the fridge.  
“Were you though?” Gabriel pointed at him and quirked an eyebrow. “Were you?”  
“I feel like it boosts my mystery card if I leave that ambiguous.” Lucifer hopped up to sit on the kitchen island, which Sam plonked one of last night’s half-finished pizza boxes on to.  
“Is that how you got that scar?” The student nodded at the reddish mottle up Lucifer’s leftside ribs, one cheek full of the type of junk food Mrs Tran might kick Lucifer’s ass for letting him eat. “A heinous occult accident?”  
“Yeah, that one’s new.” Gabriel still hadn’t excused his prolonged presence. Maybe Nancy was waiting around somewhere to accost him with a fondue stick.  
“What, you’ve never tried to jump from a motorbike on to a moving train?” Lucifer shrugged and helped himself to some of Sam’s pizza. Sam just shook his head and grinned with a look of disbelief. This time, unfortunately, Lucifer had outright told the entire truth. James Bond didn’t do his own stunts for a reason. “Anyway, I assume you’re not just here to expose priests to my sinful presence, so…?”  
“Actually I’m off today! I can hear Vegas callin’ my name and she’s an impatient mistress.” Gabriel gave a risqué smile and pulled a box out of somewhere. Not his pants, Lucifer hoped. “Anyway, I made these for you lovebirds last night. Chef’s special.”

Lucifer took the box with a smirk, because Chef’s special meant Gabriel’s Magical Aphrodisiac Cookies. What the heck he put in them, other than possibly ground-up, all-gender-inclusive Viagra, Lucifer had no idea. But his brother had made probably a solid million off them alone, so even if Gabriel was using Black Magic, Lucifer would let it slide.  
“Mm, thanks little bro. I’m sure we’ll enjoy them.” Lucifer set them aside for now, because as much as he would like his holidays to entirely consist of passionate fornication with a vigorous young beauty, variety was the spice of life. “Well, I’ll probably regret encouraging you with this, but it’s been good to see you.”

Gabriel beamed his closed-eye beam, which confirmed that Lucifer would indeed regret encouraging him. There was only so much scandal Gabriel could take before the primal urge to shock Michael into an early grave took hold. Then again, Lucifer would _pay_ his brother for a shot of Michael’s horrified face if the prude ever saw the sheer sin that constituted as his and Sam’s relationship. Ideas for the future.  
“Yeah, you’re cool.” Sam grinned and offered Gabriel one of those sporty hand-clasp shake things, which Gabriel took with delight.  
“Oh Samshine, you don’t know the half of it.” Gabriel that close to Hot Abs with that Eyebrow Wiggle was a recipe for disaster.  
“Oh no no no. This one’s mine. Begone cretin.” Lucifer shooed him with his hands toward the door with a sardonic stare as Sam laughed.  
“Bye, you virile Satanic serpent you!” Gabriel said his usual heartfelt goodbye, and then Lucifer closed and locked the door behind him with intentional emphasis.  
“Well, now we’ve got a name for your dick _and_ balls.” Sam commented and earned an amused look. “Samshine’s a new one for me though.”  
“I don’t know, I think I prefer Sugarslut.” Lucifer shot right back, and Sam almost spat out his next bite of pizza with a laugh.

***

Come the Biology exam, Lucifer’s creative teaching methods actually helped Sam more than he thought they would. Not only were the answers keyed into Sam’s head with a creative array of innuendos, but he could _feel it in his nipples_ when an answer was wrong. Although he did get that unreasonable paranoia that maybe, just maybe, the exam-minders could read his thoughts. Like, he knew they couldn’t. But _what if_ they could see the sheer amount of Biology related porn flowing through his head like the Niagara Falls? Sam supposed that they looked pretty bored, so it’d probably wake them up. 

He turned to the essay question of bats and flowers, after the physically hard challenge of the Dihybrid Cross punnet square. Mentally, he’d gone over several of the damn things chained to Lucifer’s bed with a sex toy pushing play on his pleasure button, so, in Lucifer’s words, ‘crushing expectations’ weren’t exactly as bad of a distraction.  
So Sam shot a quick glance at the clock and got to work on the bat-flower mutual relationship, what it meant, and why rats were evil. Maybe it was because his Bio teacher was a Leather Dom, or maybe it was because he had actually been forced to concentrate on the content rather than the teacher, but Bio actually wasn’t so bad – Ecology especially. Everything sort of was a little piece in the jigsaw puzzle of the wider world, and when he looked at it like that, his riddle-solving brain dug in with gusto and hey presto: enjoyment. Sam decided he liked this new, hybrid Nerd Slut he’d become.

 

“Hey, you seemed to really get the hang of that back there.” Brady jogged to catch up with him when they were released into the Real World at last. Wow, Sam had almost forgotten what the sunlight looked like. Exams changed a man.  
“I studied hard.” Sam delivered that perfect, unappreciated pun (which Lucifer was going to suffer from later via text) without a hitch.  
“Tsk, Sam, always the nerd. See _this_ is why you haven’t had a girlfriend in three years.” Brady ruffled Sam’s perfect hair, which was, quite possibly, a celestial transgression.  
“Pfft, maybe I’m just waiting for the right rich bitch to come along who’ll pay my way through college.” Sam sighed, and was surprised when Brady didn’t laugh like Lucifer would have.  
“Who are you and what have you done with sweet innocent Sam?” Brady shot him a weird grin, as though he wasn’t sure whether that was a joke or not. Well in this economy, Sam supposed that was fair.  
“He died in Exam Hell. Now you get Salty Desperation Sam.” His eyeballs throbbed from the sheer amount of focus that had been pushed through them. He swore the finger his pen rested against when he wrote had a now-permanent indent too. Exams, man. 

Brady laughed and hopefully buried the mental image of his best friend as a boytoy under some sports fuckery.  
“But you and Sarah, huh? Didn’t see that coming.” Brady clapped him on the back with a grin, and boy Sam was glad he wasn’t a football player; their penchant for the comrade butt-smack paired with his Ass Obliteration of a weekend would not have married well. Yes, despite a wonderful yet saucy bath in which Sam had discovered how two men over 6ft had fit in one tub, there was still a bit of twinge going on in the back paddock.  
“Well, I didn’t see the entire cheerleading pack turning the heads of my loyal boys either.” Sam shrugged back. He had to be careful. In this state of Exam Exhaustion, things might come out gayer than first intended.  
“Yeah…I think that was mostly for revenge though.” Brady eyed the ground, a little uneasy. “All Melanie talks about is Chad. Chad this, Chad that, Chad’s over there so make sure he sees me with you…”  
“Chad’s the football Captain, right?” Sam raised his eyebrows, teeth bared in a very Lucifer-like expression of disdain.  
“Yeah, I mean, he does sound like a dick, but Melanie…I don’t know…”  
“Is also a bitch?” Sam put a foot on the strut bar of the school back gate; for some reason they locked it during exams, but after two years of practise, both he and Brady could vault it with ease. Brady just about choked.

“Jeez, say what you really think, Sam.” Brady still had a smile on his face so Sam probably hadn’t lost Friend Points. True, it was a smile of disbelief, but he’d take it. Sam’s shoes hit the tarmac with a smack as he landed on the other side of the gate.  
“Tired Sam has very few fucks to give I guess.” He watched his friend vault himself over the blunt spikes that topped the gate. No sane man would risk his ballsack and straddle that shit.  
“Tired Sam is the polar opposite of Drunk Sam then? Man, you laugh at _everything_ when you’re drunk.” Brady grinned and led the way back toward their houses.  
“Looks like it.” Sam yawned and stretched his arms so hard his hands clicked. “So you should tell Melanie that if she likes Chad so much, she can quite riding your dick and get on his.”

Brady’s mouth dropped open like a callboy wanting the D as he gave an incredulous laugh.  
“Dude, she would slap me into next week!” Brady exclaimed.  
“Then text her. Or Invite her around, then whisper it to her through the mail slot, I don’t know.” Sam broke off into another yawn. It was only 3pm, but he was going to go home and pass out on his bed. He would go to Lucifer’s and pass out on _his_ bed, but although it was closer, in his current state Sam felt like he’d sleep a good twelve hours. And no way did Sam want his troublesome teacher answering worried Dean texts or calls. That was a recipe for Ultimate Disaster.

“I guess I could ask Jess out then.” Brady mused and snapped Sam the fuck out of his tired daze.  
_“What?”_ Sam beheld his friend’s sudden wide and guilty expression.  
“W-well you said you were j-just her friend and you’re going out with Sarah, and Jess said that she only told people she had lots of asks so you didn’t feel bad going with someone else, and I think she’s, uh, pretty cute if that’s ok, and the other night at Denny’s she asked if I had a prom date…” Brady stammered, because Sam had gone into Protective Best Friend Looming Mode. And Hell, at 6ft 4, Sam could do a choice Loom. That anime thing where their whole face goes into extreme shadow? Yeah.  
“If you two-time her, mess with her or make her shed A Single Tear, I will _break_ your tiny body.” Sam hissed. There was no mercy in Best Friend Protective Mode.  
“Yeah man. I mean, no, I won’t do any of that.” Brady held up his hands with wide eyes. Tired Sam on top of Protective Sam wasn’t someone anyone wanted to piss off.  
“Good.” He shrank back from Looming Giant to the normal, amiable friendo he usually was and Brady breathed again. “So, you liked Jess for a while then?”

“Yeah, more this year than before that. But I thought you two were a thing, so I didn’t…y’know, wanna mess things up.” Brady shrugged, and Sam felt a little bad for Looming so much.  
“Aw Brady, what a bro. But nah, if she’s cool with it, go ahead.” Sam bumped his friend’s shoulder with his own, even though he had to stoop a little. That would be kinda cool actually. His best bro dating his best friend? Of course, it did have the potential to end in a horrific truck-on-school bus collision kind of mess, but Sam was a positive kind of dude. If he could manage to snap up his impossible crush, then his best buds could be a happy couple too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epic story continues. Whelp, that's the mystery of last week solved, and no cliffhanger this chapter! I'm doing well :P I'd love to hear what y'all thought of the developments in the chapter and if you had a laugh - that always makes my day n.n Ideas as to what might happen next? :P The next chapter is one of my favs - fair warning, I laughed so hard I cried while writing it :3 But anyway, thank you all so much for your kudos and amazing comments! I'm so happy y'all are enjoying my fic so much and I hope you have a wonderful week. Stay awesome buddies! (˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ⌒♡*:･。.
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [help me with the laptop fund!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	21. The Adventures of Cucumber Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late chapter! I moved, the wifi was out and I didn’t know where I could get free wifi in the new area, so I’ve been a bit alone and miserable. Then when I tried to upload today, there was a power cut! BUT that can't stop me so here y'are :)

“Sam!”  
Shit.  
Sam did not know how to explain his situation.  
What Dean saw: Sam shirtless in bed with a hot brunette on one side and a hot blonde on the other. What Sam saw: One best friend who knew where the spare key was, and one adorable friend who’d blindly followed Jess’s evil plan to drag him out of bed to go prom shopping.  
“Dean.” Sam didn’t really know what else to say, so he just swallowed and stared at his brother’s bugged-out eyeballs.  
“We’re taking Sam out shopping.” Jess happily crossed her legs and beat an impatient rhythm on Sam’s covered thigh.  
“Shopping.” Dean’s brain seemed to have just turned into a PornHub server. “At…this time in the morning?”  
“There are a lot of shops Dean! And prom is only a few days away!” Jess exclaimed, and Sam wondered whether he could slither back under the covers and thus avoid the commercial, materialistic hell equivalent of the Vietnam War. He’d forgotten amidst exams and distraction in its Final Form (Lucifer) that he still had to buy or rent a passable suit.

“Hi, I’m Sarah.” Sarah shot Dean her most adorable smile from Sam’s other side. Her make-up today was flawless too, like hell, the artist had made _herself_ into a work of art. “Sam’s prom date.”  
“Prom date, huh?” Dean gave a slight panic-laugh as his eyes flicked from Sam’s bare nips to her. Thank God Lucifer was careful about hickeys. “You don’t happen to be in his Biology class do you?”  
Oh jeez, not this.  
“Dean – “  
“Yeah!” Innocent little Sarah smiled before Sam could manifest peaceful silence with a bitch face. A knowing look stole across Dean’s face and he raised his eyebrows.  
“Well, I guess I’ll just, heh, leave you to your prom date stuff then.” He shot Sam the most unsubtle wink of all time, then thankfully headed towards the door.

Sam was already half in The Sinkhole of Embarrassment but oh, Dean just had to turn around and stomp him all the way in.  
“You still got those condoms I gave you, right?” His asshole brother pointed and Sarah shot Sam’s burning cheeks and glare an apologetic side-eye.  
“Dean. Please.” The Bitch Face was the only defence he had left, but luckily it had a 99% success rate.  
“Ok tiger, I’ll leave you to it.” With the most douchebag smug tone, Dean exited his room and Sam promptly buried his face in Jess’ shoulder.  
“Kill me.” Came his muffled request. Dean was going to edge him about this till he _died_.  
“Aw Sam, he was just being a big brother.” Sarah tried with sympathy. “Out to embarrass you best he can.”  
“Yeah, and if you die Sarah has to go to the prom alone.” Jess swooped in with a significant lack of sympathy and a poke at his morning stubble.  
“Jess, I’m making Sarah my best friend. She has empathy.” Sam pulled his face away and rubbed the sleep crystals out of his eyes.  
“Drama queen.” Jess stuck out her tongue as Sarah giggled.  
“Come on though Sam, I’ve got my dress so I know what we have to match your suit with…” Sarah clasped her hands and she looked so pleading and excited that Sam gave a defeated sigh and mentally kissed his sweet bed goodbye.

“Ok ladies, off the bed. I’m boxed in here.” He shooed Jess off the duvet because he’d liked the way Lucifer had made it had work so well on Gabriel.  
“Oh!” Sarah gave a little shocked squeak, and turned away as Sam climbed out of bed. It took his befuddled morning brain a moment to click that it was because he only had boxers on, but, well, too late now. Besides Jess had seen everything anyway. Maybe not the love bite on his ass, but they weren’t staying for that reveal.  
“Oh, yeah, er…dressed.” Sam kind of offered a hand toward the door as a suggestion, and ran a hand through his probably atrocious morning hair. “You can go tell Dean about our wild morning antics.” Sam still didn’t really know why Dean was home on a week day, the specific week day which Jess and Sarah had also decided to drag his Teacher Testedᵀᴹ ass out of bed, but he put it down to possibly the Norse god Loki playing a mischief on him.

The younger Winchester was on his way down the stairs, mentally, physically, and spiritually (you never knew) prepared for Jess’s wild exaggerations or humiliations at his expense, when there was a knock at the front door. Bobby usually called first, so it could be Missouri…  
“Benny!” Dean opened the door to a dude Sam had never seen before: a big bear of a man who looked like he should be up in Canada with a piece of hewn tree in one hand, an aged bottle of whiskey in another and an axe between his teeth. Sam took him in with a passive, objective thought to file the newcomer in the Lumberjack BearDaddy section of his sinful brain (which already contained a version of Wolverine).  
“Well hi there mister.” Benny tipped his hat. Wow, who even did that nowadays? “My truck’s acting up – you know how she is – and I was near your place…”  
“Uh, yeah totally.” Dean put on a weird gruff voice, and caught Sam’s Odd Side-Eye as he passed the pair on his way to where Sarah had started to show Jess concept art of prom colour co-ordination. “This is my brother Sam.”

Sam found himself hauled back by the arm like a reluctant cat being picked up. Unfortunately, if he noodle-squirmed out of this like said cat, Benny would probably think he was an immature kid or an interpretive dancer, and Sam didn’t want to be associated with either.  
“He could do with a haircut, but, y’know, he passes.” Dean ruffled Sam’s hair with a hand, then gave a yelp as Sam pinched his soft, exposed tummy. One day he would learn that The Hair was not to be messed with. Benny just chuckled.  
“Well kid, if you’re happy then I say live n’ let live, huh?” Benny drawled in an amused tone as the two brothers communicated through eye contact and hand twitches that they would accept a stalemate due to the presence of guests, but possibly slap each other later.  
“Oh, well, yeah, I mean sure.” Dean smiled and glanced at Benny. Sam’s eyebrows were knocked out of the ball park.  
“Can I have that in writing?” He shot his brother an incredulous grin. Even _mom_ couldn’t get Dean to stop his teasing when he was on a roll.  
“Don’t you have shopping to do, princess?” Dean went back to his Manly Gruntᵀᴹ, but Sam just grinned like the little shit he loved to be.  
“Live and let live, huh. I’ll remember that for next time, thanks Benny.” Sam shot him a bright smile, then poked his head into the kitchen. “You ready?”  
“Are _you_ ready to have your soul to be sucked out by shopping?” Jess looked up from Sarah’s sketchbook.  
“No.” Sam sighed and wondered what the chances of a Lucifer Motorbike Rescue would be if he tried hard enough. 

God, he’d gone too long without that man; unfortunately for his other three subjects, he didn’t have Kinky Learning BDSM to help him through (he actually had to study) and Lucifer had a massive pile of end of term assignments to mark. Luckily, Kevin wanted to study, Brady and Jess wanted to study (suspiciously more together than apart), Charlie wanted to study, but also Coach Tran had decided that 2.5 weeks of soccer-free life was more than enough for him, her star Captain, and had started giving him holiday tutelage. Between all of that…well, images of Lucifer’s lips had started to swim before his eyes like mirages in this dick deprived desert. The vaguely human-shaped _wood whorl_ on his bedframe was a tease half the time, and the dick pics, oh the dick picks _just made it worse_. But Sam only had his English exam to go. Then this desert could get very wet again, thanks. It wasn’t just sex though. It was how Lucifer _looked_ at him, it was the twisted sense of humour, it was the ease of Open, Uncloseted Gayness – 

“Sam.” Jess waved a hand, because apparently he’d gone off into Space: The Final Frontier.  
“Sorry. Just…thinking.” He shrugged, and Jess raised a very knowing eyebrow.  
“Mmhmm.” She continued, despite Secret Crush interrogation temptation. “Brady didn’t have a suit either last time I talked to him, so if you need a partner in suffering…?”  
“Yes.” Sam immediately deadpanned and Sarah laughed so hard she nearly dropped her sketchbook. He wasn’t sure whether Sleeping Beauty would be alive in the actual morning, but he sent a text in the hope. Just as he went to pocket his phone again, he noticed he’d taken his wallet out sometime.  
“Hold on.” Sam put his phone on the table to give himself an airport pat. Maybe it was in a different pair of jeans. “Be back in a sec.”

 

Jess watched Sam disappear up the stairs again through the slight haze of Truck Talk that wafted from the older guys in the doorway. Sam had it _bad_ for someone. But who?? She was actually going to go crazy. Legit, this was what was going to crack her. Jess had dragged Charlie to commando-crawl through the school bushes to binocular Sam and his friends, but he didn’t seem particularly flirty with any of them. Either he deserved an Oscar, or his crush wasn’t in that friend circle. But Sam said she knew the guy! Or maybe Sam was a dirty little liar. She’d noticed he’d gotten quicker on the sass-draw since he’d admitted his crush as well. Which presumably meant his crush had an attitude. Lost in whirling diagrams of thought and deduction soundtrack, Jess just about fell off her seat when Sam’s phone dinged.  
“That’ll be Brady.” Sarah filled in a few lines on her sketch with a blue pencil, and Jess picked up the phone.

Cucumber Man: wats up Sugarslut u doing nything today

Unless Sam and Brady had been totally playing her and Brady had more of a penchant for vegetables than he’d previously let on then…could it be…? Sarah must have noticed her open-mouthed gape at the phone (more specifically ‘Sugarslut’), as she leaned over. How had Sam earned _that_ nickname?? The guy she’d dated certainly hadn’t been much of a ‘sugarslut’. Maybe it was a…gay awakening…thing.  
“What did Bra – wowkay!” Sarah covered her mouth with the hand to smother the high pitched giggle.  
“I’m gonna text him.” Jess curiosity was Too Great. And she wasn’t losing Friend Points, was she? She hadn’t been looking through Sam’s phone, it had just been a simple mistake. And there was no harm…

Sam: wats up Cucumber Man, and yeah, im going prom shopping

Cucumber Man: did  
Cucumber Man: did u just call me Cucumber Man u lil shit

Jess exchanged a wide-eyed look with Sarah and tried to keep her laughter down. Who _was_ this? She had no idea how to reply to that! Wasn’t Cucumber Man, like, a sexual innuendo or something? It was kind of a weird one, but that was all she could think it might mean.  
“What should I write?” She hissed to Sarah, and hoped Sam’s wallet had been swallowed by the mysterious thing that also devoured one sock from a pair.  
“Compliment his cucumber? I don’t know, I’ve never had a boyfriend!” Sarah grinned with nerves. Jess bet she’d never prank texted anyone in her life either, so Jess nodded with a shrug. With a nickname like Sugarslut, that was probably how Sam’s conversations went with this guy? Maybe? At least she could write a convincing Sam, what with being one of the people he texted the most.

Sam: hell yeah, u got one fine cucumber ;)

There was a longer pause, and Jess wondered whether they were a) about to be ignored by this mysterious Cucumber Man or b) get foiled by Sam’s return. Then a much longer message popped up. It might be potentially scarring dirty-talk, but Jess was just _too damn curious._

Cucumber Man: Yeah, that’s ur motto isn’t it? save a horse ride a cucumber. the amount of vegetables that u go thru, wow, u could make a 5 star rataouille in ur ass by now. the pumpkin was the most amazing tho. still in awe over how that fit.

 

And that’s how Sam found them when he came down the stairs: eyes wide, staring at his phone, mouths agape and full of questions.  
“What.” He stopped and stared at them in bewilderment. Luckily Dean and Benny had gone to smack a truck with wrenches (or possibly a lumberjack axe in Benny’s case), so this wasn’t a semi-family event.  
_“Who the fuck is Cucumber Man?”_ Jess blurted out and flipped his phone around. Oh no. He rushed forward and grabbed the phone. “We thought it was Brady replying but – “  
“If you texted him, you deserved everything you got.” Sam frowned at the conversation as he skimmed over for anything that might suggest the mystery man in question was their Biology teacher, but couldn’t keep a straight face. He barely made it to ‘ratatouille’ before he cracked up into _hysterics_. He partially slid down the wall as Jess and Sarah sort of caught the laugh infection too.  
“Oh noo…” Sam sobbed through giggles. “I mean, none of this is true but – “  
He hacked off into a laugh again as his phone dinged.

“What did he say now?” Sarah laughed, although she had blushed bright pink. But thankfully Lucifer had decided to let them marinate on that last one. That _bastard_.  
“It’s Brady. He says he’s good to go.” Sam took a few deep breaths and wiped his eyes. “You got your car?”  
Jess nodded, mouth still twitching with a smile. “Now I’m even more curious as to who he is! You totally lied about him being on the soccer team!”  
“Suffer.” Sam grinned shit back at her, because she totally couldn’t harangue him for anything when she’d texted someone off his phone without his say so. He couldn’t be mad though. When was the last time he’d laughed that hard? 

Sam: I crying

Lucifer: I see u got ur phone back

Sam: how do u even think this stuff up

Lucifer: ive been to france. enough said lol  
Lucifer: u srsly called me cucumber man on ur phone  
Lucifer: how do u take a dick pic seriously, like ding! its cucumber man’s dick

Sam: iinjm in fjiucking hystterics

Lucifer: lol. did whoever was texting me vow to nvr pick up ur phone again?

Sam: idk but they wre horrified so thanks  
Sam: I think  
Sam: im never gonna look at a pumpkin the same way again

Lucifer: Ideas for Halloween.

Sam: NO  
Sam: I HAVE TO GO  
Sam: AND BUY A SUIT  
Sam: TEXT U LATER SATAN

Lucifer: ur gonna look so handsome cnt wait

Sam: ur right that is less romantic coming frm someone named Cucumber Man

Lucifer: have fun Sugarslut

Sam just deleted the conversation when Brady hopped in the car backseat beside him.  
“I am officially thot free!” Brady announced and almost punched the car roof in enthusiasm, but honestly that wasn’t the weirdest sentence Sam had heard/seen today.  
“Whoo!” Jess cheered as Sam initiated their secret handshake in celebration.  
“I texted her that I couldn’t deal with her anymore, and she just said ‘fine, whatevs’.” Brady shrugged and looked at the girls in the front as Jess started off again. “Does that mean she’s actually fine or that she’s gonna stab me with a high heel shoe?”  
“Melanie seems like kind of a fast mover, so maybe she is fine?” Sarah tried, always the positive one.  
“And if she wants to initiate shoe wars, well, I’ve always wanted to go ham with a stiletto.” Jess nodded and earned a grin from Brady. Sam barely contained a manly squeal. His two best friends getting all romantic and gooey with each other was just so awesome! He’d play matchmaker, but hell, they seemed to have it down by themselves. He’d just have to keep an eye out for moments he could surreptitiously leave them Alone in. With his best friends getting together, Sarah as his date and Lucifer probably showing up in a super-hot tux, maybe the Prom wouldn’t be the hellpit it had first presented itself to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These characters are getting out of control. Stop taking over my story u hoes! Lol. If ya think I should change Lucifer’s text name to Cucumber Man throughout this whole chapter, I will definitely do it. On another note, y'all taught me a new word last chapter - prosyltzers (although I'm still not sure how to pronounce it lol) so thanks :P And also thank you so much for your kudos and amazing comments on the previous chapter! Bein' cut off really made me appreciate just how much your interactions on my work mean to me ♥ But I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I would love to hear what you thought of it! This one personally made me cry with laughter as I wrote it, so it's a fav of mine n.n Cheers again ya awesome sauces and stay awesomely saucy! (●⌒ｖ⌒●)
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [make my Christmas with a present!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	22. The Holy Shit to End All Holy Shits

“I swear your hair looks better than mine.” Sarah grinned an honestly beautiful grin as they finally made it out to the Impala on the Eve of Reckoning (or the Prom, as it was called in most civilized circles). Sam swore Sarah’s parents had been trying to lowkey sketch them for an oil painting - he’d finally taken to just acting like Google Earth was always taking pics in their house. And yes, Dean had done the unimaginable and let him borrow his baby for night, but only in exchange for about a hundred embarrassing suit photos and numerous threats to ride along and pick up hot bachelorettes. Sam had told him that he should stick to hitting on soccer moms as they knew how to babysit better, but mom had intervened before the sass could really get Spicy.  
“Really? No way.” Sam smiled back, but internally? Yes way. Oh, he was gonna knock Lucifer’s tuxedo off with how downright edible he (translation: Youtube tutorials) had made himself look. Thank goodness Dad was such an absentee ass, because he probably would have pronounced his son the world’s biggest floozy and tried to sell him off to a brothel for more whiskey cash.

“Oh, thank you!” Sarah just about giggled with delight when Sam opened the door to her. He may be half lost in daydreams of how to seduce their Biology teacher, but hell, he could make her night as well. It was just so awesome to see her this excited. “I’m really happy with how the colours turned out as well!”  
She patted his blue suit with the silky black shirt in a proud kind of way. Well Sarah had…kind of bought it with her parents’ Extreme Wealth. Sam’s poor ass could appreciate her dedication to aesthetic. Lucifer probably would too. Too bad he’d already finished marking and couldn’t give their innocent winglady a credit boost (as if she needed it).  
“Yeah, you’ve really got an eye for it!” Sam knew pretty much zero about fashion, but Sarah’s dress was awesome as well – pale blue, bound with silver ornaments and not splattered with paint. A miracle for Sarah. “But we’d better get going. Jess might stab me with a stiletto if we make her wait.”

They had a very fun rendezvous at Jess’s place, wherein the two girls kind of screamed about each other’s overall look, and Brady kind of cried into Sam’s bosom (the shoulder was too high up) about how beautiful Jess looked. She’d gone for something red and sparkly, and Sam wondered where Jess had discovered Brady’s weakness for sparkly things. Maybe the secret Bedazzler in his closet? Sam was pretty sure Brady did have a secret Bedazzler stashed somewhere. How else could the rhinestone hotpants of 9th Grade drama class be explained? But old mysteries aside, they’d made it to the venue fine, and Dean’s spick and span Impala had held its ground against the limos and other ridiculous arrival choices. His brother would be crying proud tears right now (but probably wouldn’t because Men Weren’t Allowed Tear Ducts). Sam filed the thought to ask whether Dean had fussed over his car more than his date on his own Prom away for a later brotherly brawl and prepared himself to enter the event. The new delicious Hell Lucifer that had made himself into today awaited.

The preparation was not enough. No preparation, not even a Death By Powerpoint Presentation preparation would have made Sam have less of a sexual hernia. There he was. With the other teachers welcoming students. Like a freaking eagle amongst sparrows. Sam didn’t know how he’d managed to be a chaperone again. Probably from flexing his man-hurling muscles at the concerned party. But. None of that mattered. None of that mattered. That suit mattered. The fucking _James Bond suit_. Every inch was cut and tailored to hone Lucifer’s body like a sharpened knife. He looked just as able to kill you as a knife as well. Everything about The Look screamed rich and powerful and Sam almost whined like a deprived puppy. That should be illegal. All. All of that.  
“Just kill me.” Sam sighed in a kind of wistful voice that Sarah definitely heard.  
“Aw come on Sam it won’t be that bad…” She lowered her voice and looked oddly cheeky. Oh no. Had Jess Corrupted this sweet innocent thing? “Or is it all the guys in tuxes?”  
Called _the fuck_ out.  
“Uhh ehehe, maybe?” Sam tried with the most guilty smile, and Sarah tutted in fake disappointment, unable to keep the grin off her face.  
“Come on Sugarslut, I think Kevin and Charlie and stuff are already inside!” Jess called around Brady whose eyes went all a-boggle.  
“Did she just call you Sugarslut?” He looked between them as they headed toward the teachers, and Sam shot her the Grudgingly Neutral Face of Disapproval. Sarah couldn’t control her laughter, but honestly that was fair.  
“It’s a long and stupid story.” The soccer captain sighed before Jess could come up with something that would haunt all of their dreams for years to come. “But yeah, Kevin at least probably got here early.”

“Jess, Brady, Sam and Sarah.” Lucifer’s calm voice addressed them, and gave Sam fair warning to stop any wayward moans before he looked up. Just as well. Lucifer’s eyes had passed well beyond the Satan Eyes and traversed into the Hellfire Smoulder. Sam, being a man of many mistakes, simply shot him the most saucy grin his facial expressions could muster. Hey, Sam’s nickname was now apparently Sugarslut so he may as well do it some justice. Lucifer looked as though he was one flirtatious wink away from dragging them both behind the coat counter. Tempting.  
“Hi Lucifer!” Sarah giggled a) because she was adorable and couldn’t stop giggling at everything that made her happy and b) because Sam was 90% certain that if Lucifer was straight, she might be trying some moves on him too.  
“Let me see that…” Lucifer took Sarah’s ticket with a smile, and only then did Sam notice he had full leather gloves on. What a fucking _power move._ “Mm, go on ahead. You next.”  
Sam shot him a Sugarslutᵀᴹ smile and handed over his ticket. Ooh hell, Lucifer’s cologne, the same one that had plagued him on the aeroplane flight to Canada, tempted him with the thought to pretend to faint onto the man’s shoulder and bury his face in the scent.  
“Your suit’s…cool.” Sam tried to sound like a Normal Teenage Disaster versus an incredibly thirsty one, but the hitch in his voice didn’t let him get away with that.  
“Love what you’ve done with your hair.” Lucifer’s soul-crushingly sexy lips flicked up into a smile, and those blue eyes held his like a hungry snake. But before Sam could get hypnotized by one serpent or another, Lucifer gestured toward his date, Sarah, who he completely and totally hadn’t just forgotten about.

“Did Lucifer just give you a compliment?” Jess sidled up behind him as they regrouped on Sarah like some sort of tactical mission Prom squad. Sam hadn’t even noticed she’d been ticket-checked by another teacher. “Don’t tell me big ol’ Sam’s been pining for a teacher.”  
She gave his shoulder some playful punches and Sam, still dizzy on Lucifer’s cologne, almost choked.  
“Pfft, no. Ha.” He gave the fakest laugh of his life, which was luckily drowned out by Charlie resuming the ladies’ tradition of screaming in greeting.  
“Oh my god JessJess you look amazing! And you too Sarah! Wow!” The buoyant ginger kind of knee-bounced; stiletto’s were not the kind of heels one could do a full air-hop in. A girl in white that Sam didn’t recognize sidled up beside her with a smile. “This is Gilda from my D&D campaign! I play a Paladin and she’s my beautiful sorcerer!”  
Charlie shot her date an appreciative look, and the happiness of seeing Charlie all proud and enamoured with Gilda momentarily distracted Sam from the lingering mental image of Lucifer’s very snug suit pants.

 

And that was how Prom went really – everyone admired how fabulous everyone else was, they had good food, danced a bit, got professional photos taken (seriously, half the time was waiting in line for that), and the awards were handed out to everyone on the Prom committee because if major politics were rigged, why not start in school? Sam was more concentrated on trying not to have his head on a constant swivel for Lucifer though. The teacher prowled like a caged tiger around the venue when he wasn’t talking to someone, but Sam couldn’t find an appropriate reason to extract himself from his friends, and Lucifer apparently couldn’t find an appropriate reason to drag him away. Finally, as the night began to close off, Sam managed to sidle away (with a fleeting murmur of ‘bathroom’) toward where Lucifer was. 

“Sam, how’s your night going?” Lucifer asked in a cordial tone, probably only because there were still straggler students who would think it a bit odd if they hear the respectable Biology teacher order ‘suck me Sugarslut’ to a student. He’d taken off his gloves too somewhere along the line, probably because inside the dancehall was quite warm. Damn. Sam liked leather far too much than he liked to admit.  
“Well, a private _talk_ with you would make it so much better.” Sam didn’t even bother with cordial. He wanted to get his hands on this man and hell, he was turning into someone who drove straight at what they wanted. A smile that had hints of proud pulled at the lips that Sam swore were tailored to hit him right in his weak spots. Or one very particular spot. Ooh, he was not going home without some Sexy Suit Shenanigans.  
“You’re trouble.” Lucifer’s pale eyes glinted; the Hellfire Smoulder was back with a passion. “Come on.”

Triumphant heat and adrenaline burned up Sam’s chest, and he padded after Lucifer into a darkened hallway that led away from the dance hall. Of course Lucifer knew where all the make-out spots were. He was the chaperone trying to prevent that sort of thing. Ugh, what a delicious hypocrite. Just as Sam noted that the hallway may have gotten suitably shady, a strong hand latched on to his tie and pulled him down. Holy fuck, people only did that in _movies._ Sam thanked the sadistic demon that had probably created Lucifer out of sex pollen and a classy gay porno, braced his hands on the other man’s suit-enhanced pecs, and threw himself headfirst into the kiss he’d been waiting hours – scratch that, _weeks_ – for. The hungry press of those beautiful lips lit up Sam’s chest, stomach and replaced all his common sense with a heat that urged his teenage cock (that didn’t need much urging in the first place) into a hot, thick brand of desire. Lucifer, the slut for big cocks as always, made a low, appreciative noise around Sam’s tongue, and squeezed a hungry hand under the curve of Sam’s nickel-bouncing ass to pull them tight against each other. The side of the teacher’s forefinger pressed right between Sam’s cheeks, and the friction of fabric just made him wild.

“Mmm – “ Sam moaned, and rubbed himself against the hard response of Lucifer’s own cock. The other man’s scent had him high, the glut of touch after so little for weeks had him crazy, and the press of Lucifer’s fingers, how they hinted at what the older man wanted to do with his ass… Sam snaked his arms around Lucifer’s waist and slammed him back against the wall with a _thud._  
“Fuck you’re strong when you want to be.” Lucifer panted, and tugged Sam’s shirt out his belt with the hand that wasn’t making Sam spread like a whore for him. But the soccer captain didn’t even care to reply – he sucked at the skin above Lucifer’s neckline and dry fucked against him harder.  
“Lucifer – “ He whined in need as that cruel hand slipped under his shirt and dipped to torture the swell of muscle where his ass began. Fuck, his hole fluttered and throbbed with the need to be Absolutely Pounded like that heaven of a weekend before exam hell had truly taken hold.  
“You know how much I wanna fuck you right now?” Lucifer growled. “All night? You’re fucking gorgeous.”  
The hands on Sam’s ass squeezed something incredible, and a blossom of heat told Sam his cock was wet as he smothered his noise in Lucifer’s very expensive collar. He hitched his leg up around the other man’s hip, but that didn’t give Sam what he wanted. What he wanted was Lucifer’s cock in his ass so deep that he’d be spitting jizz.

***

“I think we’re ready to head home, huh?” Jess shot Sarah, who had taken off her heels and looked content but worn out, a warm smile. She wasn’t going to take off her own heels though. No pain no gain. Besides, Miss Evil Eyes Melanie on Chad’s arm over there needed to be shown who was the Alpha Woman. And nothing said dominance like wearing full heels for hours on end without quitting. So far it had appeared to work on the cheerleader.  
“Yeah…” Sarah shot her a trademark grin. “I had an wonderful time, but I think I’m too tired for afterparties.”  
“Hey guys, who wants a ride in Gilda’s _limo!”_ Charlie had her heels slung over her shoulder with one hand, and the other around her girlfriend’s waist. Jess liked the new chick – she had Charlie’s sense of nerdiness, and Jess wondered whether they’d mind another couple of compadres for their D &D game. That would be a really awesome way to keep the gang together – even if they did it online – when everyone split.  
“Wow, a limo?” Brady grinned beside her. Man, she’d been _so_ worried that Sam had been harbouring Intense And Angsty Best Friend Lust that she hadn’t dared make a move on his hot man friend until recently. “That’d be so cool! Does it come with drinks and stuff?”  
“Yeah.” Gilda smiled, and Jess wondered for a moment if Charlie had accidentally picked up a real princess instead of a D &D one.

“Ooh, I’ve never been in a limo before!” Even _Sarah_ the rich art hoe had never been in a limo. The brunette clapped with excitement, and Jess was all of a sudden so proud that Sam had been such a gentleman. Sarah had never looked so happy, apart from when she’d finally completed her art folio. But that was an exhausted, thankful happy, not all elated with smiles to spare.  
“But wait, Sam brought his car here…” Sarah trailed off and looked around for the soccer moose.  
“Ugh, you head off. I’ll go wrangle Gigantor.” Jess sighed, and everybody seemed to agree that she had the highest credentials in Sam-trapping. Even Brady. Well, Sam usually wrangled Brady, and Jess usually wrangled Sam. There was a hierarchy.  
“Ok, we’ll wait for you guys JessJess!” Charlie called, hand in hand with Gilda as the herd shifted off toward the door. “I don’t think you can miss the limo.”  
“Yeah.” Jess smiled, and narrowed her eyes for a moment. Sam had said he’d gone to the bathroom, but she swore she’d caught a glimpse of him heading up towards the stage. Honestly, a guy that tall wasn’t hard to keep an eye o – OOH. Maybe…maybe he’d snuck off with his secret loverboy! A huge grin lit up Jess’ face at the idea. Sam had said the guy was going to be at Prom… Jess hitched up her skirts and just about ran to the other side of the hall. Melanie (who had seen Jess alone and vulnerable) took one look at this crazy woman with the iron will to run in heels after hours wearing the damn things, froze in fear beside Chad. That was the moment she decided that Jess was too strong, too powerful to be messed with.

Oblivious to her unintentional dominance display, Jess crept past each door and side corridor that led from the dance hall, ears peeled and eyes pricked. Maybe Sam really had just gone to the bathroom. Maybe she’d mistaken Sam for some other tall senior? But nobody had hair like Sam. Nobody had that level of gay glory. So then –  
Jess’s thought process went into a Slenderman glitch and white-out as she looked down the last corridor. That was Sam. Oh that was definitely Sam. Wrapped around their Biology teacher like a hungry python. Lucifer’s hand was halfway down Sam’s pants. Sam was eating Lucifer’s face like Brady at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Jess just gaped for a moment of pure shock. Then it all started to drizzle into place. Lucifer had been on the football trip. And Brady _had_ mentioned how Sam had wandered off with Lucifer at the zoo…Jess did kind of know him as well. So _that’s_ why Sam had been so reluctant to tell her! And how the Biology dunce had somehow quipped A-Grade answers in front of the class! Jess suddenly balked as she remembered her own interactions with…well…oh…Oh god, she’d sexted a teacher. And Sam was _banging_ a teacher.  
Holy shit.  
Jess realized too late that she’d said that out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a cliffhanger ay :D Got my new laptop though! Thank you all so much for your contributions, that’s what made it possible! I can write again now! I’ve been so bored :P I couldn't find exactly what I wanted for Sam's suit look, but here's the inspo for Lucifer with the black gloves ;)  
> [](https://ibb.co/d3kqWb)  
> But as always, I would love to hear what you thought of the chapter! Your comments make my day - it's just such a wonderful writing journey with all your lovely interactions n.n Next chapter's one to look forward to (wink wink), but until then, stay awesome my buddies - I know you will! ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆  
> PS, ヽ(≧▽≦)ﾉ｡+｡ﾟ☆―Happy New Year―☆ﾟ｡+｡ヽ(≧▽≦)ﾉ for tonight!
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me lunch!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	23. Sex In Public Was A Mistake, So They Do It Again

“Holy shit!”  
Lucifer jerked his head back from Sam, caught on unawares for one of the first times in his life. He blamed Sam’s ass. That thing was inhuman. At the entrance to the corridor was a buxom blonde in a sparkly red dress and killer heels. How she was still wearing them after this long, Lucifer had no idea – hey, he’d done his fair share of antics to try and kill Michael with a heart attack, and knew the incredible pain her feet must be in. But another thing she wore was a look of complete and total shock.  
“Jess!” Sam panted, eyes huge. “This – this isn’t what it looks like!”   
Lucifer looked between Jess and Sam, the gently slid his hands off Sam’s ass. “As much as I would love to hear your creative explanation Sam, I don’t think she’d believe you.”  
“You’re Cucumber Man!” Jess finally burst out, and Lucifer honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Why Sam. Why. “No – wait, I mean that wasn’t me who – I didn’t – “  
“Jess, please please please can you keep a secret?” Sam bust out the puppy eyes and the best friend wheedle in all their splendour as he disentangled himself from Lucifer. Jess just gave a slightly hysterical laugh. Lucifer just kept his cool for now. It was pretty much all he could do.  
“A _teacher?!?_ Oh my god…” She almost ran her hands over her face, then seemed to remember she was wearing makeup.  
“Jess please?” Sam’s puppy eyes went Next Level, and possibly appeared to some monks in Nirvana.

“Yes, yes, ok, but like…” Jess dropped her voice to an agitated hush. “You go from Mr Virgin Boy to _teacher fucking?”_  
“I never said we fucked!” Sam replied in an equally hushed but defensive voice. Despite the situation, Lucifer had to bite his cheeks to stop himself cracking up. Was it just common knowledge that Sam was an unblemished flower?  
“Your nickname is _Sugarslut!”_ Jess hissed back. “You don’t get that nickname by not fucking!”  
“That was situational! There were priests!” Sam shot back as Lucifer kind of sidled up beside them.  
“What? You had a threesome with _priests?”_ Jess looked like she may have a stroke soon, but in a way the pair of them reminded him of his conversations with Gabriel, so he might not have to hire a professional hypnotist to erase Jess’ memory.  
“No! Wh-how did you even assume that??” Sam gave an incredulous whisper with a frustrated gesticulation.  
“As fun as this conversation is…” Lucifer shot the pair an amused smile. “I’m assuming Sam can trust you?”   
Jess seemed unable to look him directly in the eye, probably because she’d texted him the question of how big his cucumber was.  
“Yes Mr – Lucifer sir.” She stumbled, but then seemed to pick herself up. “But you don’t take advantage of him now.”

She drew herself up a little and waved a finger. Lucifer commended her bravery. Even certain Russian Mafia members didn’t wave fingers at him. But that was another story and another circumstance that he really needed to kick Gabriel’s ass for. That kid was lucky Lucifer had some sort of natural talent at flying small aircraft.  
“Jess – “ Sam dragged his hands over his eyes like a kid who’s mom was embarrassing them.   
“No Sam, now there’s no…bribery or – or anything going on?” Jess still seemed to be scandalized, but determined.  
“No!” Sam conveniently forgot about their multiple dick-bribery conversations. “I like him, he likes me. Please just…it’s fine.”  
“Ok,. But just…make sure.” Jess straightened her shoulders.

“Sam’s lucky to have friends like you.” Lucifer shot her a genial smile, and Jess sort of smiled back in a ‘you’re a teacher who’s fucking my friend and I don’t know what we are to each other now’ sort of way.  
“Yes he is.” Jess finished off as Sam nodded in the silence. “I should – uh.”  
She turned to clip-clop off in her heels, then sort of fumbled back around. Maybe she should sit down or something. Stiletto pain and teacher-fucking-friend shock in consideration.  
“The others are – uh Gilda has a limo and offered us lifts so, uh I don’t know, I can make up something or – “  
“Tell them Dean called?” Sam offered, but as sexy as that ass was, Lucifer didn’t want to deprive him of Fun Teenager Times.  
“Go with them if you like. I don’t – “  
“No, no it’s ok.” Sam shot him a guilty little side-eye that said ‘I really want The Dick tonight’.

“Yeah, Sam’s a bit of a party prude anyway.” Jess shrugged, and Sam earned a pair of raised eyebrows from Lucifer. Since _when?_ “We were just gonna drop his nerd ass home.”  
“ _And_ as much as you and Brady are awesome together, you’ll probably start making out. In public.” Sam winced, and Jess pulled a kind of ‘fair enough’ face. Sounded like Sam knew his drunk friends all too well, although Lucifer betted they had nothing on Gabriel. Lucifer was fairly sure he could ID any one of Gabriel’s body parts in any position if a murderer got creative (definitely on the cards knowing Gabriel). He really wished he didn’t have that particular skill.  
“Ok well…you two, safe things and uh, bye.” Jess ducked out of the conversation with an awkward sidle and Sam buried his face in his hands.  
“She is _never_ gonna let me live this down. Oh my god.” Sam groaned.   
“Well at least she’s supportive in her own way.” Lucifer shot Sam a perky little smile and a wink.  
“Yeah.” The big, beautiful hunk sighed and watched her leave with the final scatter students. “Anyway, your place?”  
After everything ridiculous that had happened this evening, Sam’s casual swing back to getting laid just made Lucifer crack the Fuck up.

 

“Ok, we are _so_ taking your car.” Lucifer took one look at the Chevy Impala that was so shiny it reflected the frickin stars. That was one hell of a beast.  
“What about yours?” Sam looked up from his phone as he texted their impromptu weekend alone plans to some family member who cared. Lucifer’s garage could only fit one car, there was no street room. And they were not leaving a classic car like this out here alone and vulnerable.  
“I parked it out on the street, so it won’t get towed.” Lucifer shrugged and pulled on his leather gloves again against the night air. He could bus up and grab it or whatever later. Besides, the Prom venue dance hall was out of the city somewhat so likelihood it wouldn’t get stolen either.  
“Alright, but I should drive. My brother would probably be able to feel it in his soul if someone other than me was driving his car.” Sam grinned and wandered over to the driver’s side. The flash of his white teeth against tanned skin with the soft fall of his hair (had he straightened it?) just hit Lucifer right in the dick. Even more so when he slid in beside the student on the sleek leather seats and saw him behind the wheel. Lucifer often called Sam ‘kid’, and sometimes wondered if Sam minded their age gap. Maybe it was the suit or the car, but looking at him now, Lucifer could see the man in this teenager. Something confident, mature and honestly, _so_ desirable.  
But being the troublemaker he was, and in honour of his position as Gabriel’s brother, Lucifer decided to put that maturity to the test.

Sam had barely made it a minute down the wide road back to town when Lucifer decided that was enough tarmac between them and random people who might see shenanigans. So he leaned over and kissed that tanned cheek.  
“You look even more handsome than usual you know.” Lucifer murmured against the corner of Sam’s jaw. “I didn’t think it was possible and yet.”  
“Lucifer I’m driving.” Sam grinned and tipped his head away a little – but not enough to be a major protest.  
“Then don’t get distracted.” Lucifer smirked back, but Sam, with his good little eyes on the road, didn’t notice the incredibly troublesome look on his teacher’s face. What he did notice though, was the leather-clad hand Lucifer slid into his crotch.

“Hey!” Sam laughed, but let his legs lie a bit more open. Lucifer grinned a wolfish grin – there were two things for certain in this world. 1) Lucifer was _never_ going back to Russia, and 2) Sam was a bonafide, total slut. Sam’s dick agreed. No matter how concentrated on the road the soccer captain tried to look, the eager lump that pushed up against Lucifer’s fingers told a completely different story. Being a vain bitch, it always stroked Lucifer’s ego at just how fast Sam went from a curious semi to Captain Colossal Cock at his touch. And man, that thing filled out right across his thigh.  
“Lucifer…” Sam finally panted, voice almost a moan as the teacher kept up his slow rhythm.  
“Mm?” Lucifer leaned over fully and pressed the heat of his mouth over where the tip of Sam’s cock was obvious even in dark blue.  
“Fuck!” Sam gritted out, and twisted the steering wheel. The Impala slowed to a crawl, then stopped, and Lucifer, who had been prepared to die sucking dick, realized Sam had parked them on the side of the empty country road. Only a lone, amber streetlamp lit the car, and hey, who could ask for better mood lighting? 

 

Sam was A Mess. First the frustration of Prom, then the frustration and panic of Jess’ interruption, and now Lucifer teasing him with those damn gloves in the car was just too much. He didn’t care if they didn’t make it home. They could fuck in the car. He knew Dean did it all the time.

A gasp of pleasure fled Sam’s lips as Lucifer undid his belt and fly at possibly light speed then nuzzled a hot mouth across Sam’s damp underwear.  
“Lucifer – fuck!” Sam tilted his head back against the driver’s seat and swallowed as that talented tongue played on the swollen head of his covered cock. He was tempted – _God_ he was tempted – to just let Lucifer lick and suck him to orgasm, but now he’d thought about fucking in the car he couldn’t shake the idea.  
“Lucifer, the backseat has – unh – more space…” Sam sort of moaned, and couldn’t help how his hips twitched against the other’s man’s mouth. Fuck, this wasn’t _fair…_  
“You come up with the best ideas.” Lucifer raised his head, features and wicked lips all picked out in the liquid shadow of the amber light. Those leather gloves added an air of power, dominance, and honestly, sometimes Sam couldn’t believe this divine creature was his. That twitch at the corner of Lucifer mouth told Sam that he was staring like usual.

“Yep, backseat, now.” Sam swallowed, shucked off his suit jacket, then practically hurled himself over the Impala’s low seat. As Sam scrambled onto his back and tugged off a shoe, Lucifer slid off his suit jacket too like a nude model dropping their robe.  
“You got any lube?” Lucifer raised an eyebrow, all cool allure as he unbuckled his own belt. Oh Sam wanted to _break_ that facade. But first things first.  
“Yeah, hold up.” Sam tossed his shoes in the driver’s seat, tossed off his shirt as fast as he could, then scrambled an arm underneath the same seat to find… “Here, hold this.”  
He thrust Lucifer the obligatory near-empty bottle of whiskey Dean had in case of Emergency Angst, then slid his fingers around the tube he was looking for.  
“Oh, and keep the gloves on.” Sam shot Lucifer his own wicked smile. “Or at least one of them.”  
“Mm, I was waiting for that.” Lucifer grinned like the cockiest bastard in the world as he wrestled himself over the Impala seats too.  
“Shut up, and come here you handsome Devil.” Sam panted, then started to kick off his own suit pants – only to be stopped by authoritative the press of leather against his slim hips that shot a weak little noise to his throat. Sam just watched with hot desperation as those black-clad fingers hooked into the band of his underwear, played with the elastic for a moment, then tugged the blue material down Sam’s tanned thighs. Lucifer’s eyes, amber in the streetlight, drank in the sight with a kind of hunger that thrilled through the younger man’s belly.

“C’mon.” Sam moaned. He knew he was being impatient, but kicked the suit pants off one leg anyway. The smooth sensation of leather slid fabric up his other thigh, dug furrows in his supple skin, and then he was naked. In Dean’s car. On the side of a random road. _Fuck_ yes. Precome beaded the slit of his cock just at the thought, and then a high noise caught in his throat as Lucifer’s caught him by the knee and tossed it over the front seats. In rough one move, Sam was hitched up and spread for him.  
“Lucifer – “ Sam panted and braced his second foot against the Impala roof. Even this huge car wasn’t built for moose men like him, but hell, he’d make do. The windows had begun to mist from their excursions, and the heat had Sam’s skin stuck to the leather in places – he was already high on anticipation. But he didn’t get a chance to focus on much else as Lucifer squeezed and kissed up the inside of his thighs with appreciative hums. Sam let himself squirm a bit as he watched Lucifer’s tongue lap at sensitive skin on the crease of his groin. Then the blonde added the gentle scrape of teeth, and Sam let out a soft moan as his erection spasmed on his stomach. He waited for the cock-happy teacher to lick up to his stiff length, but Lucifer dipped down instead.   
“Lucifer, what…” Sam swallowed as Lucifer hot tongue swiped over his hole. Okay. He’d heard rimjobs could be good. He…wasn’t sure. The start didn’t feel anything, like, soul-exploding that the descriptions had gone on about.

“See if you like this.” Lucifer murmured into the curve of his ass as a large, gloved hand slid down to rub Sam’s naked lower back, right on the base of his spine. The oddly intimate sensation distracted Sam’s head for a moment as Lucifer played his tongue down there...and then a shiver lanced through Sam’s body, and he dropped his head back against the door with a thud. The ring of his ass spasmed and shot a dull blossom of pleasure through him.   
“Ah – “ Sam saw the leg that was braced on the ceiling judder, tingles fled out across his body, but Lucifer just picked up in enthusiasm. One minute Sam was trying to figure out if he liked this or not, and then it was like he missed the mental tipping point somehow – because the next minute he couldn’t control how his hips ground harder and harder onto Lucifer’s heat, his cock practically rained slick, he dug his fingernails deep into his palms to stop him scratching up Dean’s leather seats…

“Ahh!” A bare finger pushed against him with Lucifer’s tongue. God, Sam hadn’t even heard the lube being opened, or the leather glove coming off, but how could he care about that when his ass shuddered around that finger – those fingers, he didn’t know how many – while all the time Lucifer sucked at him.  
“Oh god, oh god, don’t stop, don’t stop!” Sam arched off the leather with a sticky sound as his moans turned wild and Lucifer’s finger-fucking picked up pace. The older man took his leg in a vice hold with the other hand, but Sam could barely feel it over the fingers and mouth that made his toes curl. He squeezed his eyes shut, totally thrown by what his body was doing; how his nerves and cock arced with pleasure, how his orgasm boiled up in him, seconds from release, how he was spread as wide as Lucifer wanted him. He didn’t care, anything, so long as…  
“No, no, no…” Sam whined, breathless as Lucifer pulled away, both mouth and hands. His leg braced on the roof collapsed onto Lucifer’s shoulder from shock. No, he was so fucking _close._ “Please…”

Sam dared to open his eyes as the crunch of an encrusted whiskey bottle lid came through over the stampede of his heart. Lucifer knelt above him with Sam’s leg hooked over his shoulder and the whiskey bottle he’d just emptied in the other hand.  
“I wanna be in you.” Lucifer panted, and the question in his eyes made Sam feel a bit bad for just thinking about himself. Then again, what the fuck else was he supposed to think of when Lucifer was murdering his higher-level brain functions like that? So he let the base ones run with his mouth.  
“Yes, yes now!” Sam arched back up, not ready to lose the crest of this wave.

 

Lucifer took one look at the absolute mess he’d made of Sam and decided to take the student’s excellent advice. Sam’s eyes had gone drugged, his gorgeous cock drooled in a sheen of its own slick, and that pink little ass fluttered from Lucifer’s teasing. So Lucifer emptied the rest of the lube on to his cock and eased his own stiff pleasure against Sam’s entrance. The tanned brunette tipped his head back with a noise of exasperation, but Lucifer just kept it slow, buzzed on whiskey and the heat of the air in the small space. Sam’s silky insides rippled around him, massaged against his glans and shaft, but he didn’t give into the desire to just pump himself to completion. Coming in Sam would make a pretty messy ride home, so he’d just have to be careful and pull out.

“Harder, fuck, harder!” Sam begged, as Lucifer eased himself down on to that muscular body, one knee in the footspace, one on the seat, and one arm kinda squished under Sam’s back. Car sex was just under shower sex in levels of complicated.  
“No.” Lucifer couldn’t keep the grit out of his voice, and circled his hips as Sam trembled beneath him. They were pressed so flush together now that Lucifer could feel Sam’s heartbeat, and the wet prod of the younger man’s considerable erection against his stomach. Shit, something about a cock that delicious size massaging his lower belly was a sensation he hadn’t experienced before, but hell, it coiled an amazing sensation down to his balls. So Lucifer rocked _ever so gently_ against Sam’s cock and in Sam’s ass, while he sucked decadent hot patches down the man’s strong neck. Despite how Sam scrabbled at him, and moaned for more, despite how his own cock throbbed, sensitive from the slow circles he massaged into Sam’s body, Lucifer just steeled his will. After a few minutes everything was hot, the air was loud with their heavy breaths, and Lucifer’s legs shook from the intensity of it.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck – “ Sam moaned louder to the beat of the gentle rhythm, and rolled his body along with their movement too. Neither of them pushed for more – it was just ecstatic where they had it; slow, hot and desperate. Then one of Sam’s arms secured tight around his waist, and the other gripped into his hair. Lucifer grunted unintentionally as the shift sent his cock, already a glowing brand of pleasure, just a little deeper. Fuck. This was going to finish him quicker than he’d expected. 

“Lucifer…” Sam panted, hazel eyes glazed over as their bodies shook against each other, slick with sweat, in this slow torture. And then Sam pulled him into a rough kiss. Lucifer’s cock shuddered in Sam’s tight heat as the other man whimpered into his mouth, sucked his lips and tongue in frantic pleasure. Sam didn’t stop – the student kissed him harder, mewling and moaning against his lips in a frenzy. Lucifer felt the body beneath him, around him, struggle against the cock that pleasured it, then snap rigid – writhe and jerk in bliss as Sam keened into this desperate kiss. Oh fuck. Lucifer couldn’t pull away in time as his own orgasm suddenly bolted up his shaft and shuddered into his lover. It took Lucifer by such surprise that his head snapped back with an inadvertent shout on each surge of come, and white blotches filled the space behind his eyelids. Fuck. Lucifer buried his face in Sam’s shoulder as he fucked his hips harder to Sam’s cries, almost embarrassed over his lack of control. He hadn’t come like that in _decades._

 

Sam was still halfway in the clouds when the sharp jangle of Dean’s personalized ringtone cut through the haze.  
“Mm, let me guess, you _have_ to get that.” Lucifer hummed into his neck. Every inch of Sam, all the way down to his toes, thrummed with tingles in the sex-hot car, and he so wished Lucifer was wrong.  
“Ugh.” Sam cracked open an eyelid and swiped around in the footspace with a long arm until he found his discarded suit pants. Dean didn’t hang up before he wrestled the phone out of them, so it must be somewhat important.  
“Dean?” Sam ran his free fingers down the black ink lines on Lucifer’s pale, muscular back. Oh, his brother had no idea what was on the other end of his call.  
“Heya, y’know how Missouri and Bobby have been checking out Dad?” Dean didn’t sound too panicked though, and Sam was too out of it to worry much right now anyway.  
“Yeah?”  
“Well they called mom to go check out something with them. So yeah, I’m holding down the fort so call if you need anything.” Dean tried his best not to sound like he Cared A Lot, but Sam knew better.  
“Ok, cool. I probably won’t be home till Monday though. Hope it’s nothing too serious.” Sam tried to keep the hitch out of his voice as Lucifer nuzzled up his hickey-raw neck. A truck roared past in a flash of lights, but there was so much condensation on the windows that they could have been lying naked behind frosted glass.

“Dude you sound out of breath – wait, are you having sex in my car?” Dean’s Impala Senses didn’t miss a thing did they?  
“No, I am totally not having sex in your car. Anyway, I have to go.” Sam promptly hung up before Dean could finish his scandalized _Sammy!_ He looked left a bit to see Lucifer with a wide, wicked grin.  
“Everything alright?”  
Sam coaxed the man’s head down with a hand and leaned up to taste the whiskey on his lips. “Mm, Dean’s either gonna kick my ass or give me the biggest hi-five known to man, so it’s a 50/50.”  
As Lucifer chuckled and kissed him again, Sam decided that Prom really hadn’t been as bad as he’d been worried it might be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to go into, like a 3D Mind Palace to envisage what Impala Sex would be like. Limbs everywhere! Hopefully it wasn't too confusing :3 But I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I would love to know what you think might happen next! I think there's only a few chapters left (sadly!) but we've still got a few things to cover ;) So leave a comment or kudos if you like, and thank you so much for all your previous kudos/comments! They always make my day, and inspire me to write more, so cheers :D Stay awesome buddies (､ᐛ)ﾍ＿/ ~~♡~~ ＼＿ヾ(ᐖ◞ )､
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me bubble tea (my fave!)](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	24. Foiled by Mullet Rock

The next day after Prom (Sunday) turned out to be a beautiful weather, so Lucifer (99% sure that exam-worn Sam hadn’t, like, seen A Plant in weeks) suggested they go to a park. Well, it was kind of a park, but people just seemed to have forgotten about it – it had become overgrown and full of raspberries and blackberries at the right season, and Lucifer just enjoyed the peace of the place. So that’s where he found himself, after about an hour-long nature walk: sprawled belly-down on a thick meadow beside a cross legged Sam, with a flower between his finger and thumb.

“ – so bees collect pollen to convert into food, but when they touch other flowers they inevitably contact them with some of the collected pollen. That’s mutualism. The bees get food, and the flowers get pollinated. The natural world has itself sorted out so well, and it’s incredible to think about.” Lucifer reached over and tucked the daisy into Sam’s glorious hair. Sam gave him an odd grin and touched it, but didn’t remove it. Good. The real test of a man’s character was to see if he could handle a flower in his hair without crumbling.  
“You’re so cute when you talk about Biology.” Sam shot him a look that teased and Lucifer raised his eyebrows. They only times he got called cute was when idiot buff men thought it was ‘cute’ that he was going to kick their asses. Those Russians had learned.  
“Why thank you Sam. Some people would collapse under the pressure of being beautiful, sexy and cute all at once, but what can I say, I’m just that good.” Lucifer grinned as Sam gave a laugh of disbelief and his shoulder a gentle shove.  
“Should I give you and your vanity some time alone? I wouldn’t want to get between you two.” Sam smirked, and this time it was Lucifer’s turn to give him a playful shove.  
“You’re almost as bad as Gabriel.”   
“I honestly don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.” Sam beamed and shook his head, but the daisy in his hair still stayed in place. It was a good look. That, and Sam was also in Lucifer’s clothes, as he hadn’t brought anything but a suit along. They fit the younger man pretty well, but still, there was just something _delicious_ about it.

Sam seemed to noticed his unbridled, amorous stare as he tugged up a handful of grass. Why was it an irresistible human urge to start pulling up grass when another human started pulling up grass? Even as a Biology teacher, Lucifer had no scientific reasoning for that one.   
“You know I really do enjoy time with you.” The way Sam said it was just so mature that it stopped Lucifer’s grass-pulling ventures before they began. “Not just the sex and the dates, but…you’re really safe. I feel really safe with you, more than any time in my life.”  
Lucifer rolled up, unsure what to do with the warm sensation that suddenly swelled through him. Sam just lowered his gaze, maybe embarrassed.  
“Sometimes my house and family can get pretty heavy, like always living under a cloud. When I’m with you, I don’t know, I just feel really free.” Something pulled Sam’s lip up, but Lucifer couldn’t tell if it was happy or bitter. “Sometimes I just want to stay with you and never go home.”

Lucifer just shuffled over a bit and curled an arm around Sam’s beefcake shoulders that glowed warm from the sunshine.   
“Mm, I share that sentiment. Not just to get you away from what sounds like a prick of a dad, but you’re fun, kind and…” Lucifer kissed the stubble on Sam’s jaw. “My kind of twisted.”  
That earned a small smile.  
“I could even get used to you trying to crush me in my sleep.” The big guy leaned into him with a resigned huff. “We can’t though. Not yet.”  
“No, not yet.” Lucifer dipped his fingers into Sam’s soft, long hair. “But I’ll give you as many good memories to take home as I can. I’ll even kick your dad’s ass if you want me to.”

That made Sam flash his teeth in a snicker. “Yeah. And become the dominant daddy. Sorry. That was awful. You know those things that sound less weird in your head?”  
But Lucifer had barely even heard his apology, as he’d cracked up so badly he had to lie the fuck down.  
“Fucking – “ Lucifer dissolved into laughter again, and Sam watched him with a grin. “Oh, that made my day.”  
“Good.” Sam’s voice had laughter around the edges too, but The Moment was cut short by Sam’s phone. Man, that boy was popular and his friends had the _worst_ timing.

“Hey.” Sam answered, then his eyebrows creased for a moment. “Pamela – oh yes of course!...... Really?”  
A huge grin suddenly blazed across Sam’s face, and made Lucifer cock his head in interest.  
“That’s great!” Sam paused, and bit his lip with excitement. Lucifer could die, that was so cute. “No, no, I don’t have any of that with me right now, but I can get them by tonight. – Yeah. Yeah, that would be amazing. – I will, I will. Yep, thank you so much! Bye!”  
“Wh – “ Lucifer didn’t even get to ask what that was about – a flying ball of 200lbs of excited soccer captain flew at him and knocked him onto his back.  
“A FIFA agent – I met her after we won – wants to give me a full ride sports scholarship to play for the US internationally!” Sam just about hyperventilated into his neck, then sat up on his haunches across Lucifer’s hips, too happy to stay still. “She needs some grade info, birth certificate citizenry stuff and banking details before the acceptance date though, so we can drop back to my place before heading home?”  
“Of course.” Lucifer grinned, not only at Sam’s scholarship, but at the odd fact that he’d called Lucifer’s apartment ‘home’. Then the teacher flipped them over, and pulled Sam into a kiss. “And then you can have a ‘full ride’ on me to celebrate.”  
Sam’s laugh vibrated against his lips as two strong legs hooked around his waist, and then Sam kissed him so hard, with such enthusiasm that by the time they broke apart, Lucifer was dizzy. Oh, if this worked out, Lucifer was _so_ going to retire and become a trophy husband. The dream.

***

Sam didn’t think he’d stopped smiling the whole way back to his house. This was literally a dream come true. He couldn’t wait to tell Jess and Sarah and Brady…and Coach Tran would probably suplex him from happiness… Aghh, he was almost in too much of a daze to drive, but God forbid Dean seeing anybody but a Winchester handle his car. Lucifer had offered to get out and chill a few blocks back, but if the Impala was big enough for two men over 6ft to have sex in, then it was big enough to conceal a scandalous Biology teacher. Besides, the sun had set while they’d headed back into town, so unless Dean decided to go and make out with his car (not impossible), then Lucifer wouldn’t get noticed. Also, Sam was pretty sure that Lucifer ninja himself away if he really needed to.  
“Ok, I’ll be back in a minute.” Sam smiled as he pulled up into the gravel berth outside their house, still overflowing with glee.   
“Sure thing.” Lucifer just shot him a wink that made him want a repeat of last night’s car writhing. That man’s winks were like frickin bullets to the lungs.

Sam could already hear the brash guitar riffs and rock-scream voices of one of Dean’s various macho mullet music men as he clicked open the front door. Knowing his brother, Dean would probably be in front of the stairway mirror, lipsyncing or badly screaming his heart out. With a cheeky little grin, Sam tugged his phone out of his pocket and closed the door as quietly as he could. Oh, this would be excellent blackmail material for –   
Sam rounded the corner to see Dean, shirtless, on the couch beneath Bear Daddy Lumberjack Man Benny Boy. Making out. Very much kissing a lot. _What??_

“Dean!” Sam practically yelled over the music as he had Jess Experience Karma of complete and utter shock. He just stared, mouth wide enough for flies, but thankfully his interruption had stopped them removing their pants. Dean was…what??  
“Sam!” Dean scrambled up, eyes huge, with a look terror on his face as Sam tried to figure out if this was a weird dream. “Sam, Sam, I can explain, this is _not_ what – “  
“You’re – “ Sam just gestured at Benny, who kind of handed Dean his shirt in an apologetic kind of way. Dean liked _dudes??_ Since _when?_ He was always…he never… “Holy fuck.”  
Sam ran his hands over his face, suddenly grinning. He wasn’t alone. Dean was at least half as gay as he was. And he hadn’t even _noticed._ Then again Dean hadn’t noticed about him. Man, they were the _worst!_  
“Wh – Sam…” Dean seemed rightfully confused as Sam burst out laughing. It was just too _stupid._ And it was the ultimate _fuck you_ to dad! Holy shit! He couldn’t stop laughing and went into hysterics.  
“Is he ok?”   
Sam heard Benny worry, and finally managed to take a breath.

“You too, huh?” He grinned at his brother, whose eyes widened to a saucer-like state as Sam still hacked out left over laughs. His chest suddenly felt light, like a huge weight had been lifted off it. He’d always imagined coming out to Dean as something nerve-wracking with a lot of stammers, maybe tears and shouting, but _this?_ Never in his _wildest dreams._  
“W-w-w-wait, you’re…you like guys too? But your Prom date, and Jess…” Dean frowned, and glanced at Benny, who shrugged and turned the music down with a remote.  
“All friends, man.” Sam just grinned, but Dean’s eyes narrowed on something.  
“Then who did that?” His brother pointed at Lucifer’s car-sex hickeys that Sam had completely forgotten about on his neck. Whoops.

“Aw Dean, does it matter if he’s got a squeeze too?” Benny drawled, but Dean looked affronted.  
“Yeah. He knows who I’m…uh with.” His brother crossed his arms, and Sam just rolled his eyes. Fine. Fine to all of this.  
“My Biology teacher.” Sam shot them a genial smile as Dean’s eyebrows just about flew away like doves released by the Pope.  
 _“What?!?”_ Dean started forward, but Sam just crossed his arms and held his ground. “That creep called Lucifer?”  
“He’s not a creep, Dean, don’t make me punch you.” Sam tried to channel Lucifer’s shark stare, and Dean seemed taken aback by his abrupt reply. “Hold on a minute.”  
He lifted his phone, that had been sort of clenched in his hand for those five crazy minutes and speed-dialled his boyfriend. Why not? They’d gone this fuckin’ far.   
“Hey man, you wanna come in? Dean would love to say hi.” He glared at his brother, who turned to help from Benny. The big man just shrugged. Sam decided he liked the guy.

***

“My brother’s dating a teacher.” Dean had his scarlet face buried in his hands as all their gay asses sat around the kitchen table. Sam supposed this had all been quite a rollercoaster. “What are you, his sugar daddy or something?”  
“I was about to ask Benny the same thing.” Sam shot back, to which Dean gaped like a popular girl being called a bitch.  
“They’re quite fun, aren’t they?” Lucifer murmured at Benny, who, despite Dean, grinned in an abashed kind of way. Sam turned the tables on Lucifer and channelled his inner ‘don’t talk while the teacher is talking’ look, then turned back to his brother.  
“Face it Dean, we’re daddy issues _personified.”_  
“I mean, I ain’t complainin’.” Benny smiled and rubbed a large hand up Dean’s arm as the older Winchester groaned.  
“And you’re actually, like, full gay?” Dean asked in his usual sledgehammer way. Sam assumed, from that, that Dean was bisexual, but the temptation of Bear Daddy over there had been Too Great.  
“Yeah, 100% pure gay.” Sam shrugged, and Dean just looked between him and Lucifer with a kind of helpless expression.

“So now that we all know we like dick and that’s ok, what do we do?” Lucifer offered in the dazed silence both brothers seemed to be in.  
“And you’re not – “  
“No bribery, no coercion, yes I know what I’m doing, no, it’s not creepy, and yes if he does me wrong, so help him, you’ll kick his ass. Does that cover it?” Sam overrode Dean with an eyeroll.   
“Dad’s gonna kill us.” Dean buried his face in his hands again.  
“Now, now Dean, there ain’t no use talkin’ like that.” Benny patted Dean’s shoulder in a manly Lumberjack kind of way, because Real Men didn’t hug. Wow, Dean had found somebody who understood his ridiculous macho ways.

“You work in forestry right?” Lucifer suddenly cocked his head at Benny who gave a curious nod.  
“How’d – “  
“Saw the tag on your truck outside.” Lucifer shrugged, and not for the first time Sam wondered whether ‘Biology teacher’ was just a cover. “So you’d know all the good places to hide a body.”  
“Lucifer!” Sam tried to hide a smile as he reached across the table to smack his boyfriend’s chest. “He’s joking. I think.”  
“I like him. I say Sam gets to keep him.” Benny grinned, as Dean shot them all a hard stare.  
“Anyway, what are you doing here?” Dean finally got round to that question, but Sam thought his brother had had enough Dramaᵀᴹ for one night.   
“I just had to pick up some stuff. I’ll go grab it now and then, ah, I’ll let you get back to it.” Sam shot his brother an eyebrow waggle that gave Lucifer Gabriel PTSD.  
“That’s it, I’m kickin’ your ass.” Dean got up with a half-hearted growl that probably meant a head-scrub at most, and Sam shot out of his seat with the patented Little Shit Brother grin stamped all over his face. 

“You’re right, they are fun.” Benny nodded as the two boyfriends watched their younger counterparts streak upstairs.  
“And I don’t think we were properly introduced.” Lucifer offered Dean’s boyfriend a hand with a serpentine smile. “Lucifer.”  
“Benny. You’re quite the charmer aren’t you.” The big guy grinned, and some interesting thuds came from upstairs. But as tempting as seducing Benny would have been if it had been Michael in Dean’s place, Lucifer did still have a faint memory of what a moral compass was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the mystery of how Dean was gonna find out Sam's lil secret solved :P Next chapter might be a little more serious, coz I have to address some more seriousish stuff, but we'll see how it goes c: Anyhoo, I would love to know what you thought of The Drama and the start-of-chapter feels! Your comments are always so amazing, and I look forward to them so much during the week ♡ I'm gonna miss them a lot when I take a break at the end of this fic. I'm behind in my writing, so sadly I won't be able to move straight on to the next fic this time :( But we've still got a few chapters of this one to go, so I really hope you enjoy them!
> 
> Thank you so much for all your support and comments, and stay awesome buddies!! o✧ं｡˚٩( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ٩)⋆｡˚*ْ✧ं
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a snack!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


	25. Nat 20 Intimidation Check

“Well that was…unexpected.” Sam’s brain was still trying to process that Dean, the straightest straight-man in existence was not, in fact, straight. Man, what a cover. Sam felt like an amateur closet case now. He started the Impala as Lucifer slid in beside him before Dean could put their conversation on Prom night and his new epiphanies together and kick his ass a second time for riding a teacher in his car.  
“A nice kind of unexpected though I think.” Lucifer shot him a low-lidded smile, then leant across a brush a warm kiss on his cheekbone. Not helping with the light-headedness there, Satan Lips.  
“Apart from seeing my brother half naked and making out with a guy, yeah.” Sam pulled a face and also pulled out of their driveway. Lucifer just gave a derisive snort.  
“At least he had pants on. Or even worse he could have been wearing – “  
“Lucifer, as much as I appreciate talking about our feelings, I think I’ll let you keep the scarring mental images of your brother.” Sam grinned before he had to imagine Dean in whatever creative and gross circumstance Gabriel had been part of this time. Lucifer snickered with those very, very attractive lips as Sam took a corner.

They drove for a good five minutes before Lucifer broke the comfortable silence.  
“Sam, I don’t want to alarm you, but that car has been following us since your place.” Lucifer nodded at the wing mirror on his side, and Sam frowned as he glanced at it.  
“Why – “ Then his voice hitched as the black truck drove under the streetlight they’d just past. For a moment, all he could hear was his heartbeat. “Fuck. That’s dad’s car.”  
“Sam, you can – “  
“No.” Something hot and red that Sam had never felt this intense before roared in his gut. How dare Dad scare him and Dean like this? How dare Dad worry mom to the point where she didn’t know if she’d be homeless or not the next month? How dare Dad be so nasty to Bobby, how dare Dad try and control their lives when he couldn’t give a shit about any of them? Sam had had enough, and he wasn’t scared anymore. He was _angry._ With a screech of tires, he swerved down toward an intersection he knew would take him to the interstate. Somewhere away from suburbia, away from people that might interfere. Lucifer shot him a silent glance, but it wasn’t afraid or shocked. The older man had his back, and that was all Sam needed.

When they hit the open road, Sam put his foot down to get some distance between himself and the truck he knew so well. He’d never driven this fast before, but he didn’t care. He just _didn’t care_ anymore, and it was like a restraint chain on his leg had been snapped. With a wrench of the steering wheel, Sam spun the Impala so it blocked the road, and had stormed out of the door before Dad had even finished braking.  
“Why the hell are you following me?” Sam snarled as his father slammed the door behind him. He looked livid, but hell, Sam would go a round with him and more if he wanted to.  
“Who the hell is that?” Dad growled back, and pointed at Lucifer. The teacher had got up out of the car, and leaned on the roof, chin on his forearms, pale eyes fixed on Dad. There was a predatory, feline curiosity in them, and even in his rage, it made Sam a little cold.  
“I don’t owe you any answers. You’re the one who runs away every weekend. You’re the one who’s hurting mom and Dean and _stalking_ me!” Sam yelled and stepped forward, delighted he had the height advantage over his old man.  
“Boy – “  
“Now!” Sam heard his voice echo across the farmlands, he shouted so loud, and Dad crossed his arms. If there was one thing Sam knew, it was men like dad respected a bit of yelling. Drill sergeant flashbacks and all that.  
  
“You two disappointments waste my time. Dean’s a washout and you don’t listen to a word I say. You’re always going behind my back – all three of you – trying to make a joke out of me.” Dad’s eyes narrowed, and he pointed with a twisted expression at where Lucifer hadn’t stopped his stare. “And worst of all, did I see that creep _kiss_ you?”  
“Whose business is that, hm? Mine or yours, the deadbeat dad who doesn’t care about his family’s happiness?” Sam growled. “If you’re gonna go, go. We don’t want you, and I am _sick_ of your bullshit.”  
“How dare you talk to me like that?” Dad barked. He stepped up and Sam tensed all his muscles for a fight. It seemed inevitable at this point. But Sam was so mad, he’d go toe to toe with this marine any day. “It’s my business because you’re my son and I have to be associated with you. Now get out of my way.”  
“You wanna touch him you go through me.” Sam squared up and met his dad’s eyes head on, like a bull who’d seen red.  
“You’ve been needin’ a lesson for a while, you disobedient little child.” Dad’s insults, that usually would have made Sam look away and duck his head in shame just sounded childish. Pathetic.

“You touch him and it’s the last thing you’ll ever do.” Lucifer’s nonchalant voice was quiet after all their yelling, and it seemed to shock both him and Dad out of their fight for a moment.  
“What did you say to me?” Dad snarled, and turned a violent gaze on Lucifer. But the sandy blonde didn’t even flinch, and returned an equally cold one. He stood up properly and prowled around the Impala in a way that made Sam shiver. He’d often had problems with his flighty brain and the difference between sexy and scary. This was scary. There was no tough propositioning, no anger, no threats. There was no genial smile or sparkle in the man’s eyes to offset his movements. Lucifer’s eyes and cheeks were hollowed out by the night’s shadow, giving him a haunted look. A cold finger slid down Sam’s spine with a horrible _feeling_ that made him swallow.  
“I said you touch him,” Lucifer fixed on his dad with that laser stare like a snake about to strike. “and it’s the last thing you’ll ever do.”

Sam had never met murderers, killers or gang members. He’d never really seen the true evil that people could be. But John had. He’d seen his fair share of cowardly jarheads, crude torturers and cold killers. He could read people enough to know if he could take them in a fight. Sam? Yes. Kid was angry, idiotic and underskilled. But this other man had killed people. John could see it in his eyes and on his hands. Bloodstains never really left. This man would kill him as promised and watch the light go out in his eyes just for fun. John didn’t doubt it. He wasn’t an idiot like his kid, who would’ve had a well-deserved broken nose by now. Whoever Sam had got himself caught up with – mafia lord, gang leader, serial killer – he deserved whatever he got. Maybe John could have won by luck, but he didn’t have to risk his life trying to teach a brat a lesson. So John spat on the ground between the pair of them and marched back to his car. Whatever. He had better things to be doing with people who actually respected him. John tried to ignore the military warning prickle in his spine that told him that freaky weirdo was still watching him as he drove away.

“I wanted to punch him.” Sam sighed as Lucifer continued to stare down the night. Given the alpha display with dad, he might win. Lucifer turned back, and the hungry, dead look in his eyes melted away. Sam wasn’t sure who the teacher had murdered to acquire that level of Look, but he was sure glad Lucifer was by his side.  
“He would have hurt you, and then I would have had to hurt him.” Lucifer turned to shoot him smile that was almost sad. “I would have liked to see you punch him though.”  
Sam just leaned back against the Impala with a sigh and a little grin. It had felt good to really yell at the man at least, enough for John to back down and answer him.  
“You think he’s gone for good?”  
“I doubt he’ll be back, but if he is, call me.” Lucifer shrugged and Sam gave a huff of laughter.  
“Who are you, Jackie Chan?” Sam sent him a teasing smile as the older man wandered up to him.  
“One day I’ll write my memoirs as a highly exaggerated action novel, and then you’ll know everything.” Lucifer grinned, back to his normal, everyday, non-murderous self. “And I’ll definitely waste no detail on how extremely delicious you look all angry and tense.”  
“Thanks, I’ll look forward to it.” Sam snickered, half sarcastic, then it sunk in just a bit more what had happened. “I guess I should call mom and Bobby… to arrange things.”  
  
Sam drew his hands across his face, but Lucifer just put a strong hand on his shoulder.  
“First, I think we should get off the interstate before your brother’s car gets creamed by a truck.” That hand circled a little bit on the ridge of Sam’s muscle, and it calmed him a little. “We’ll pick up some dinner on the way home too. Sound good?”  
“Yeah.” Sam breathed and drew Lucifer into a hug. Man, it was like some procrastinating celestial had booked all the Life Drama to happen today. But as he held the solid heat of Lucifer against him and tucked his nose into the man’s neck, the world seemed to slow down a little again.

***

“Oh Sam, you’re back!” Mom called almost as soon as Sam clicked the door closed behind him. He figured he’d wait till Monday afternoon to come home, as a) mom, Bobby and Missouri said they wouldn’t be back till then and b) Sam did not want to find Dean being given wood by a lumberjack in any way, shape or form.  
“Yeah, yeah.” Sam grinned. Mom wrapped him up in a hug, and Sam patted her shoulder as she buried her nose in his very not-suspicious neck scarf. He’d picked up some of his own clothes in between Dean trying to go John Cena on his ass, so no awkward questions there.  
“I hope you had a good Prom, and I’m sorry your dad had to spoil it for you, but you and your brother did the right thing.” She patted his face, and Sam nodded. For a moment, he locked eyes with Dean, on his way down the stairs. Dean knew the full story, and had been torn between chasing Dad with a shotgun (he’d just about exploded on the phone when he’d heard Sam’s recount) and buying Lucifer a beer. But the others thought he and Sam had been confronted Dad, and that was how they were both keeping it. No Bearded Bear Bangin’ and no Scandalous Schoolteacher Screwing.  
“Dad didn’t spoil anything for me, don’t worry.” He nodded at mom and she smoothed his arms down to his elbows.  
“Come on, the both of you and sit down. Me and Missouri and Bobby have something to tell you.” Mom gave them both a weathered smile. If she confessed that she was marrying Missouri, Sam was going to have a fucking stroke.

“You get a cold there, Bucko?” Dean offered with raised eyebrows at his scarf and a shit-eating grin as they followed mom into the lounge.  
“Bite me.” Sam snapped back, with the bitchiest bitch-face of all time.  
“Eh, looks like that job’s already taken.” Dean smirked, but had the decency to drop it when they got into adult earshot. Sam darted on to a free lazyboy, given the secrets he now knew about their couch. Damn Dean and his God Tier Closet. Where were _his_ man-made hickies? Maybe Sam didn’t want to know the answer to that one.  
“Oh look at you, you two brave boys.” Missouri beamed, and squeezed Dean’s arm. “Your father’s not coming back, I can sense that much. Sorry Mary.”  
Their neighbour shot mom a sad grimace, but mom just gave a heavy sigh.  
“You know what? I think it’s for the best.” Mom looked at the pair of them, and Sam thought she seemed a little less worn down already. “It might surprise you to know that your dad had another woman he was seeing up in Columbia.”  
  
_“What?”_ Dean half-rose off the couch, as if he was going to run all the way to Columbia and brain dad with a shovel. Sam just gaped, eyebrows born aloft on a cloud of disbelief. Bobby just nodded a grim nod in the other recliner.  
“Dean…” Missouri put a gentle hand on his brother, and coaxed Dean back down onto the makeout couch.  
“That’s not all.” Mom shot them a sad look. “He’s been seeing her since I don’t know when, and they even have a kid – professional baseball player apparently. Let’s just say they’re much better off than us.”  
She shrugged and couldn’t quite hide her miserable expression, but let Dean throw a rousing arm around her shoulders. Sam, honestly, couldn’t be too shocked. It was terrible, yes. But was it out of the blue, after all dad had done? Nooo.  
“The house, college…I don’t know…” Mom trailed off, eyes wet and now seemed the best time to be the bringer of good news.  
“Mom don’t worry about college. I scored a full ride for international-grade soccer tuition on sports scholarship. The agent called me yesterday.” Sam smiled as she lifted her head with wide eyes. Dean stared at him as if he’d just revealed a second, even more scandalous teacher lover from behind a curtain.

“Really?” Mom beamed, then drew delighted hands over her mouth. “Oh Sam, you did?”  
“Screw some baseballer, that’s a kid to be proud of!” Bobby raised a beer with a beardy smile as Missouri clapped in excitement. Sam just grinned, on top of the world all over again at how his news had dried mom’s tears.  
“Oh, I could see it in your star charts that something good was coming your way!” Missouri leaned back with contentment and laced her fingers together. “The only thing you’re missin’ is the steamy romance Venus promised!”  
“Hahahaha!” Sam’s nervous and very not guilty laugh was thankfully interrupted by the home-phone at the bottom of the stairs.  
“I’ll get it.” Dean hopped off the couch, and when he’d passed, mom rose up and held her arms out for a hug.

“I’m so proud of you, Sam. Your dad never knew what wonderful sons he had.” Mom squeezed him again, as Dean’s voice came from the hall.  
“No, I’m not John, this is his son Dean.”  
Both Sam and mom turned to frown at him, but he held up a finger for them to wait.  
“No, er, Dad’s on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been back in a few days. Probably out of service range.” Dean shrugged at them with a helpless face. “Today? W-wait _how_ much? No, no, no, hold on. Dad taught me everything he knows about cars. If you need his expertise I’m your best bet. Half an hour? I’ll be there in ten.”  
Dean beeped the phone off then slowly put it back on the holder as if it was made of glass.  
“That was dad’s work.” He sort of said in a breathless voice. Well, he had just been speaking to the FIFA of the American car industry, so Sam could relate. “They couldn’t contact dad so…”  
“Kid, get your ass moving!” Bobby crowed from the couch. “You said ten minutes, so don’t you kick a gifthorse in the mouth!”  
“Yeah…uh, yeah!” Dean seemed to be in a daze before he managed a smile. “Sam, you better have refilled my baby!”  
“C’mon Dean, I’m the best brother around.” Sam shot him a grin back. He wouldn’t add that he and Lucifer had also done the decent thing and replaced the whiskey and lube as well. That car sure had its uses.  
“You bet!” Dean was too hyped to even play the cool older brother, and practically sprinted out the front door.

“See, that’s all the good karma coming your way.” Missouri rose off the couch, and Bobby came to join them in their impromptu standing circle. “Now I think we all deserve a little celebration. Ellen said she’d mind the Café today, didn’t she?”  
Mom nodded, but the way she couldn’t stop her smile made Sam pretty much burst with joy.  
“She’ll toss me out if she sees me headin’ in there in my work clothes.” Bobby chuckled as the Impala roared away down their driveway, blaring Back In Black. Whelp, that was one way to make an impression.  
“Oh she’ll do no such thing. Come on now.” Missouri picked up her purse with a teasing smile and ushered them towards the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who got Triggered by the ‘Dad’s on a hunting trip’ line? :P In the canon Sam would have been able to go a few rounds, but he’s a bit more of a noodle in this one. But also happier! So as much as I would have liked him to punch John, violence is generally A Bad Solution in real life c: Also, a nod to S1e20. Sam standing up to John like that really struck a chord with me n.n Lol, I found writing John making all these serious assumptions about Lucifer hilarious when he’s just a Bio teacher :P But wowie, second to last chapter! I'm kind sad to see it go tbh. But I would really love to know what you thought of it, your fav parts or anything! Your comments really make my day, so thank you so much for all the previous comments and kudos y'all have left - you're the best readers ever n.n Stay awesome buddies (˶′◡‵˶)爻(♥ O ♥)
> 
> If you'd like to support me, please [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a snack!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^ Any spare bucks would help me out a lot! ♥


	26. It Was Only A Kiss, How Did It End Up Like This

**3 Years later.**

“You know, I’m starting to believe Gabriel. You really are a snake.” Sam poked Lucifer, who was face-down in the Caribbean sand, with a bare toe.  
“Let me bask, Sugarslut.” The blonde bastard flattened himself further into the heat in an honestly uncanny snake-like movement.  
“You’re going to burn to a crisp.” Sam grinned and eased down beside him. Lucifer had really taken well to being Sam’s beautiful trophy boyfriend and bodyguard on the side. The Gossip World had had a field day on Sam’s romance with someone who was (very coincidentally) his former highschool teacher, but all press was good press, and it had just bought them both photoshoots with gay sports magazines for very nice paycheck. Mom had been a little more difficult to convince, and family dinners were still a bit awkward, but that was a price Sam was willing to pay.  
“The sun is weak compared to hellfire. I’m immune.” Lucifer hummed in a content kind of way. Sam just snickered as he leaned back to enjoy his well-deserved break too. If he wasn’t playing, he was training, if he wasn’t training there were interviews, charities and events he liked to attend…man it was just good to kick back and relax. The beach he and Lucifer had to themselves wasn’t too bad either.

For a moment, Sam lost himself in the beauty of the aquamarine ocean that lapped away at the sand in front of them, then an unfamiliar glint drew him back. He hadn’t quite become used to the silver serpent that encircled his second finger yet, but he loved its weight. Lucifer had taken him out under the huge moon last night – had even dropped to one knee and everything. There was a romantic sap underneath all that sass, but Sam was the only one who’d done the archaeological dig to unearth it, it seemed. Now all that was missing was the second, interlocking gold serpent; he’d have to wait till they got married by some pagan shaman, Vegas Elvis, ship captain or whatever other ceremonial practitioner that would make a scandalized Michael the most annoyed. Sam was up for the most interesting wedding possible, so long as his family could make it.

“Hey Satan, what sort of car would you like for our wedding? I’ll send the request to Dean.” Sam clipped open some sunscreen, because no matter how immune Lucifer thought he was, he was a pale bitch and would go stereotypical Devil Red. Even Sam wasn’t committed enough to the Aestheticᵀᴹ for that. “Mustang, Ferrari, Lamborghini, Camero…”  
“You – ak!” Lucifer made the most unmanly squeak ever as Sam drizzled sunscreen on him like mayonnaise on salad. Sam was pretty sure that if anyone else had heard that noise, Lucifer might have had to kill them.  
“It’s cold, to match your heart.” Sam laughed it up, as Lucifer shot him a very reptilian side-eye. But he still very graciously allowed the tanned, muscular football star to massage it into his back.

“As I was saying, that car your brother used to have would do just fine.” Lucifer laid his head on the side so he could give Sam the full blast of those gorgeous lips set to Smirk.  
“The Impala?” A warm trickle fizzled down Sam’s mighty man-chest at the thought. Now that Lucifer said it, there couldn’t be anything else. Dean’s pride and joy, the car they’d won from dad, and was filled with so many memories… “You know he still drives it everywhere, complete with the same twenty cassette tapes.”  
“So that’s a…” Lucifer raised his eyebrows as Sam eased his thumbs down the man’s spine.  
“Yes!” Sam could help how broad his smile became. “If we can prize it from Dean’s arms for the day.”  
“Hey, you did it before.” Lucifer kept that serpentine look which had always sent Sam’s brain down the gutter.  
“And then you did me, if I remember correctly.” Sam shot the sandy blonde a salacious grin. Lucifer rolled on to his side and slid his fingers into Sam’s hair, eyes playful.  
“I’ll do you again if I get the chance. Sam car, same backseat.” Lucifer caught his shoulder, and suddenly Sam was tossed over, on to his back. The soccer star didn’t even resist – he just looped his arms around Lucifer’s neck, then pulled him into a kiss.  
“Mm, I look forward to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there you have it! The chapter’s a bit short, but I felt I covered everything I needed to without dragging it out n.n If you have any questions about other characters’ reactions, whereabouts or what have you, feel free to ask! Thank you so much for being such amazing readers on this journey – without your comments, I wouldn’t be inspired to write anything. I know it takes a bit of bother to sit down and write out something, but I just wanted to let you know that it really does mean so much! I’m gonna miss it a heap. On that note, as I have said, there will be a bit of a break in my multi-chapter fics so: if you want to get notifications when I start a new fic/start updating, I suggest you hit the user **Subscription** at the **top right hand corner** of **my profile** (not of the fic). That’ll give you an email alert! If you don’t have an AO3 account, just keep a weather eye I guess ;) I’ll be around on swaglexander-the-great.tumblr.com as well, and I’ll post updates there too c:
> 
> In Other News, I do have **[this one-off](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13519269)** you might want to check out! The notes in that one will explain what’s going on with it :3
> 
> But finally, I really hope you enjoyed this fic, I’m so happy to have made y’all laugh so much – and stay awesome! I know you will. (˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ⌒♡*:･。.
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a snack!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


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